Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: March 29, 2011

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NEW NEWS...

The food in famous paintings of the Last Supper has grown by biblical proportions over the last millennium, researchers report in a medical journal Tuesday.  Using a computer, they compared the size of the food to the size of the heads in 52 paintings of Jesus Christ and his disciples at their final meal before his death.  If art imitates life, we're in trouble, the researchers conclude. The size of the main dish grew 69 percent; the size of the plate, 66 percent, and the bread, 23 percent, between the years 1000 and 2000.  ***MARLAR: And now by federal law all paintings of the Last Supper have to include the foods’ calorie counts.

Scientists have done laser scans on two life masks, made from plaster casts of Lincoln's face, and it turns out that the left side of Lincoln’s face is smaller than the right.  ***MARLAR: This is just weird – I’d think of all the politicians who WOULDN’T be two-faced it would be Lincoln.

As if cell phone users weren't loud and obnoxious enough, a British company has introduced a cell phone that screams. Actually, the phone service is designed to deter mobile phone theft by emitting an ear-piercing scream. The screaming won't stop unless the battery is removed. Even then, the handset will not work. The service also stores your contacts, ringtones, pictures, texts and other data that can be retrieved when a new phone is purchased. The service costs about $18 a month.  ***MARLAR: Of course, teens have since discovered the ring is annoying to adult ears and are using it as their default ringtone.

An Arizona man has been sentenced to three years of probation for stabbing a man who refused to let him suck his blood.  Maricopa County Superior Court says 24-year-old Aaron Homer, of Chandler, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault.  25-year-old Robert Maley once let his roommates suck his blood. But when Maley refused a second time on Oct. 4, he was stabbed.  Maley said the two men were into "vampire stuff."  ***MARLAR: Obviously not real vampire stuff, because real vampires don’t typically ask for permission to suck on your neck.

Figures released by the Earth Policy Institute say that there is enough wind energy in North Dakota, Kansas and Texas to meet power needs of the entire country. ***MARLAR: Or couldn’t they just grab the hot air from Washington D.C.?

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING...

The bride wore a white veil, a red garter and black diving gear. The groom also wore a wet suit, accessorized with a red bow tie. Brian Wilson and Christina Gunn got married in a ceremony held 20 feet under the surface of the Illinois River in Southern Oregon. The vows were written in pencil on a white slate.  The bride says the pastor asked them if they took each other to be man and wife, they held up their cards that said "I do," and then they took off their regulators and kissed. She says she cried. ***MARLAR: Although we have to take her word for it since she was underwater at the time.

Authorities in Kalamazoo, Michigan, say they only had to look in the trash to catch a gun-toting suspect.  The city's public safety department says officers were told a man was reportedly walking around with a gun on the street. Police say the man fled when they arrived, and a police dog helped them find the guy hiding in a garbage-filled curbside trash can. The gun that officials think he was carrying was found in another trash can nearby. The man was arrested on felony gun charges and a misdemeanor resisting arrest charge.  ***MARLAR: They found him right where he should be... in the garbage.

Alexandria police said a man stopped for riding his bicycle at night without a headlight was carrying a weapon made from a butcher knife attached to a pool cue. They said the 51-year-old man also had a razor blade in his hat.  ***MARLAR: It’s unknown what he was planning, but one thing is apparent - his mother never gave him the “don’t run with scissors” speech.

An Appleton, Wisconsin woman who tried to extort money from The Seasons restaurant by putting a rat in her lunch has entered no-contest pleas to two criminal charges. Debbie R. Miller planted the rat at The Seasons and then demanded $500,000 from the owners. She threatened to alert the media, but instead of paying, the owners turned the rat over to investigators for their insurance company. They determined it was a domestic rat that had been cooked in a microwave, and the restaurant doesn't use microwaves.  ***MARLAR: Which is too bad because “MicroRat” is very tasty.

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