Workers at a Virginia Landfill were surprised by what they found in a large trash bin trucked in from a Goodwill Industries store: a woman who had apparently gotten trapped. They opened the door and she got out. A 48-year-old woman crawled into the bin at a store, couldn’t get out, and fell asleep. A truck picked up the bin just after 8 a.m. and hauled it, along with the unwitting passenger, to the dump. ***MARLAR: It was a close call, as she’d just recently gotten over her first crush. 

Spanish police said they had foiled an Italian drug trafficker’s plan to break out of jail in the Canary Islands using climbing equipment and a four-meter-long blimp. The plan consisted of using a remotely controlled zeppelin to bring him night-vision goggles and climbing equipment with which to escape. Police said they had arrested three people outside the jail who were preparing the escape, and had intercepted a package sent from Italy containing the balloon, night-vision goggles and climbing gear. The plan was to climb out of the prison and meet a driver who would smuggle him off the island. ***MARLAR: The plan went over like a lead balloon.

An Oregon woman obsessed with bunnies has been ordered back behind bars after police found her in a hotel room with more than a dozen rabbits. The 47-year-old Miriam Sakewitz violated her probation by having the rabbits. The judge sentenced the woman to 90 days in the county jail. Police arrested her after she called a maintenance worker to her room to fix a broken television set. The worker saw and smelled the rabbits, some of them hopping free. The woman’s legal problems began in 2006, when Hillsboro police found more than 150 rabbits in her home and dozens more bunny bodies in freezers.  ***MARLAR: It was the most terrifying Easter ever.

Simon Cowell has reportedly been offered between $100 million and $144 million per year to stay on as an ‘Idol’ judge. His current contract is set to expire in May which pulls in $36 million for him already.  ***MARLAR: $144-million to judge a talent show?  Heck, I’ll do it for HALF that!

A new study shows that 5 million American children have some degree of hearing loss induced by exposure to noise. ***MARLAR: When informed of this statistic, the kids said, “WHAT?”

The Transportation Security Administration removed a screener from the Newark, Liberty International Airport in New Jersey and scheduled him to be retrained. This was all because a passenger reported that she had inadvertently been allowed to pass a checkpoint with a butcher knife in her purse. The passenger, 27-year-old Katrina Bell, was not charged with any crime after explaining she had merely forgotten about the knife, having put it there a few days earlier before heading out on a “blind date.”  ***MARLAR: So, what’s more disturbing – the transportation employee who missed a woman carrying a large butcher knife, or a woman who carries a butcher knife on blind dates?

A group of fifth and sixth-graders at Merriam School in Massachusetts are asking Major League Baseball players to consider a radical idea: shake each other’s hands at the end of a game.  ***MARLAR: Leave it to the children to explain how important it is to be a good sport.  When growing up, I played baseball… and after every game, win or lose, you walked back out onto that field and shook hands… either to congratulate the other team on their win, or to say “good game” to the losers and let them know that you’re all equals… and that it’s just a game.  Maybe we should put these kids in charge of Major League Baseball.

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