Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – July 11, 2010

A would-be robber wielding a chain at a San Diego Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant didn’t count on one of the customers being an armed, off-duty, plainclothes police sergeant. Witnesses said the man barged in Saturday afternoon, smashed his heavy chain on the counter and ordered all the employees into the kitchen.  But before he could open the cash register, the sergeant pointed his gun at the man and ordered him to the ground.  Witnesses said the suspect demanded to see the officer’s badge, and the sergeant complied.  The suspect was arrested for attempted armed robbery.  ***MARLAR: A tip for you robbers who may be listening.  You are not required to use a chain as your weapon simply because you’re robbing a fast food chain.

Authorities say two women have been arrested following a parents’ brawl that interrupted a Southern California kindergarten graduation ceremony.  School officials placed Puesta del Sol Elementary in the desert town of Victorville on lockdown Wednesday morning after a fight broke out among a group of parents.  The San Bernardino County sheriff’s department says witnesses told deputies several mothers were involved in an argument and it got physical in a field near the ceremony. Several men then jumped into the fray, and the incident turned into a brawl.  A deputy later arrested two people on suspicion of being a disruptive presence at a school. Witnesses said they were the main instigators. In all, 20 adults were identified in the brawl. A school district official says there could be more arrests.  ***MARLAR: Apparently it all started because some jerk walked in with one of those “My Kid is an Honor Roll Student” bumper stickers and it just escalated from there.

Authorities said a drunken man and woman were arrested after they were found pushing a baby stroller holding two young boys, open containers of alcohol and a bayonet inside. Police said in a statement that the 30-year-old woman and 52-year-old man were arrested after police were called about 1:30 a.m. Friday when the woman tried to take a bike off a porch.  The statement said security guards had been watching the pair and initially detained the woman. Police said officers found the woman’s one- and four-year-old sons in the stroller along with alcohol and the “double-edged bayonet.”  ***MARLAR: These kids were found with open containers of alcohol and a double-edged sword.  And to think I got in trouble as a kid just for POKING my brother.

Don’t let your drunken elephant roam the streets of Natchez, Miss. The Natchez Democrat newspaper reports an anti-drunken elephant law dating back to 1810 is still on the books. According to Helen Smith, the law started with a local elephant show. Apparently the elephant that a Mr. Texada was going to exhibit got into some beer. Smith and her husband now own the historic Texada home.  ***MARLAR: Apparently the law works; to this day you still won’t see any drunk elephants in Nachez, Mississippi.

iPods aren’t just for listening to your favorite tunes. They’re also for cheating, at least according to some school administrators. Many schools have banned iPods and other digital music players from exams. In Idaho, Mountain View High School Principal Aaron Maybon says the students come up with “new and creative ways to cheat pretty fast.” While no kids have actually been caught iPod cheating, Maybon says a teacher overheard a couple of students talking about it. The music players can be used to record audio answers to tests, or crib sheet can be displayed as the text of song lyrics.  ***MARLAR: C’mon – if you’re that ingenious to come up with a way to cheat using an iPod, you’re smart enough to cram the night before.

A Pennsylvania man has been accused of burglarizing at least three apartments and vandalizing them with spray paint and chocolate pudding — after police say he was found covered in chocolate syrup. Police tell us the 24-year-old Bethlehem resident was arrested early Friday after being found with silver spray paint and chocolate on his hands and clothes. They say that helped tie him to a nearby burglary in which pudding and chocolate syrup were spread across the floor and graffiti was spray-painted on the walls. Bethlehem Detective Sgt. Mark DiLuzio says the man admitted the burglaries but claimed another man broke into the apartments and let him in.  ***MARLAR: Bill Cosby was not available for comment.

In Australia, scientists came across a toad the size of a small dog.  ***MARLAR: Instead of turning into a prince when you kiss it, it turns into Prince, then the artist formerly known as Prince, and then back into Prince.

San Francisco has become the first major city to ban plastic grocery bags.  ***MARLAR: So instead of “paper or plastic” your checkout clerk will just say “paper or.”

According to a new study, “definitely” is the most misspelled word in English. Also on the list were broccoli, phlegm, bureaucracy, indict, consensus, unnecessary, sacrilegious and prejudice.  ***MARLAR: At least I think those are the words… I wasn’t really sure how to spell them when I wrote them all down.