July 27, 2017: Thursday ONAIRprep

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ODT: 20170727
PDF: 20170727

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Okay, gang, it’s “The (Jock) Program,” so turn up your tweeters and we’ll pop your earpuscles.

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace…”  –Ephesians 1:7

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” — Matthew 19:14

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. — Isaiah 40:29

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… — Isaiah 43:2-3

Thought: In the context of this passage, God reminds his people that they are precious to him. He formed them and redeemed them. He is not about to abandon them. No matter what challenges or difficulties they face, he will be with them to deliver them and bring them to safety and victory. We can accept this same promise; we also have the benefit of history to show God’s faithfulness. We can see how God did preserve his people and redeemed them time and time again from their bondage to their enemies. God will not forget his children! We know it by promise. We know it by history. We know it by faith!

Prayer: Thank you, Almighty God, for always being near. I know that there are many times when I am not aware of your nearness or of your providence at work or of your miraculous moving in history. Nevertheless, I do believe, dear Father, that you are near even when I feel alone and your presence seems so far away. In those times, dear God, please give me confidence and perseverance to stand through the times of trial so that I can also share in your times of triumph. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Luke 7:27 NIV = This is the one about whom it is written: “’I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.’

TODAY IS THURSDAY – JULY 27, 2017

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
150 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Tonight is OVER THE MOON NIGHT, the night each year when legend says cows get really jumpy.  ***The weird part is when the dog laughs after watching the cow, and the dinnerware runs off for no apparent reason.

This is NO SMOKING DAY. On this day in 1965 President Lyndon Johnson signed legislation requiring cigarette packages and ads to display a health warning from the U.S. Surgeon General.  ***Good thing, too!  Before that people had no idea that sucking thick black smoke into your lungs might be bad for you!

Today is FORM A COMPANY QUARTET DAY, a day to find co-workers who like to sing.  ***Or you can take the safe route and pay them not to do so.

Today is TAKE YOUR HOUSEPLANTS FOR A WALK DAY.  ***Don’t forget the leash – you don’t want your ferns running out into traffic.

This is WALK ON STILTS DAY. ***Try doing it while carrying your houseplant!

TODAY IS ALSO…

Barbie-in-a-blender Day
National Chili Dog Day
National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day
Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day
National Intern Day
National Refreshment Day
Walk on Stilts Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)

FRIDAY, JULY 28

Buffalo Soldiers Day
Lumberjack Day
National Milk Chocolate Day
National Get Narly Day
National Talk in An Elevator Day
World Hepatitis Day

SATURDAY, JULY 29

Army Chaplain Corps Anniversary:
International Chicken Wing Day
Lasagna Day
National Chicken Wing Day
National Dance Day
National Lipstick Day
Rain Day
System Administrator Appreciation Day

SUNDAY, JULY 30

Cheesecake Day
Father-In-Law Day
Friendship Day
Health Care Now!  Medicare’s Birthday
International Day of Friendship
National Chicken and Waffles Day
National Support Public Education Day
Paddle for Perthes Disease Awareness Day
Paperback Book Day
World Day Against Trafficking in Persons

MONDAY, JULY 31

National Mutt Day
Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day
World Ranger Day

TUESDAY, AUGUST 01

Girlfriend’s Day
Lughnasa
Mead Day
National Minority Donor Awareness Day
National Night Out
Respect For Parents
Rounds Resounding Day
Spider-Man Day
Tisha B’Av
US Air Force Day
World Lung Cancer Day
World Wide Web Day
World Scout Scarf Day

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 02

Earth Over Shoot Day or Ecological Debt Day
International Albarino Day
National Coloring Book Day
Take A Penny/Leave A Penny Day

THURSDAY, AUGUST 03

Friendship Day
Watermelon Day
India Pale Ale Beer Day

ON THIS DAY

1921: Scientists at the University of Toronto isolated the drug insulin for the first time.

1940: Bugs Bunny debuted in the movie cartoon A Wild Hare. Artist Bob Clampett created Bugs after seeing actor Clark Gable munching a carrot in the movie It Happened One Night.

1953: Steve Allen debuted as a local television talk show host on WNBC-TV in New York City.

1965: President Lyndon Johnson signed legislation requiring cigarette packages and ads to display a health warning from the U.S. Surgeon General.

1974: A House Committee voted to impeach President Richard Nixon.

1974: British guitarist Eric Clapton’s first solo single entered the British music charts — “I Shot the Sheriff.”

1974: John Denver’s “Annie’s Song” reached #1 in the U.S.

1974: NBC dropped its daytime program Dinah’s Place, ending NBC’s 23-year association with singer Dinah Shore.

1988: Radio Shack announced the Tandy 1000 SL computer. ***Nowadays you mention this to anyone under the age of 30 and you get “What’s a Tandy 1000? In fact… what’s a Radio Shack?”

1992: Reggie Lewis of the Boston Celtics collapsed and died during practice on a Brandeis University basketball court. He was 27.

1994: When Cindy Hartman’s phone rang in the middle of the night in Conway, Arkansas, she discovered an armed burglar ransacking her home. She fell to her knees and asked if she could pray for him. The burglar broke down, joined her in prayer, and apologized. He brought her belongings back into the house, borrowed a shirt to wipe away his fingerprints, and left his gun behind when he drove away.

1998: A 31-year-old man in Paola, Kansas, pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated indecent liberties with a child after one of the two girls he molested saw him on the TV game show “Wheel of Fortune.” He won $4,400 and was arrested a few days later.

1999: An Icelandic advertising man proposed to his girlfriend in a prime-time TV commercial. The 30-second proposal cost him $900, but it was worth it — she said yes.

2001: Sylvester Neal of Anchorage, Alaska, began cashing in his 30-year collection of almost a million and a half pennies, some $14,000 in coins that weighed five tons. Fortunately, the local coin-machine company, CoinStar, offered to pick them up.

2001: A new law in North Carolina banned swearing in the presence of dead bodies. The law, intended to foster respect for the dead and bereaved, also sets out how corpses should be transported. The law was prompted after some bodies were carried in the back of an open pick-up truck.

2003: Comedian Bob Hope died in Toluca Lake, California, at age 100.

2006: His Swiss-based team announced that American Floyd Landis, who won the Tour de France cycling classic, tested positive for high levels of testosterone, a banned steroid.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1681: During a bitter battle between Scottish Episcopalians and Presbyterians, five Presbyterian preachers are martyred in Edinburgh. The Church of Scotland became Presbyterian permanently in 1690.

BIRTHDAY RAP-UP

  • actor (Mission Impossible 3, Vanity Fair, Alexander) Jonathan Ryhs Meyers 40

  • actor (“Yes Dear”, Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam on “Coach”, former spokesperson for Big Lots, brother to Dick Van Dyke) Jerry Van Dyke 86 (audio clip)

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1922 : Bob Thiele

1927 : Bob Morse (The Hi-Los)

1929 : Harvey Fuqua (The Moonglows)

1933 : Nick Reynolds (The Kingston Trio)

1943 : Al Ramsey (Gary Lewis and the Playboys)

1944 : Bobby Gentry

1947 : Andy McMaster (The Motors)

1949 : Maureen McGovern

1950 : Michael Vaughn (Paper Lace)

1962 : Karl Mueller (Soul Asylum)

1967 : Juliana Hatfield

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Why do we sometimes call a spider’s web a cobweb?

Fancy the spider, whose rather obsessive web building has provided us with the metaphor that describes the most powerful electronic communications network ever. Of course, we surf while spiders spin, although like the spider we are also trying to catch something with our web, whether it’s the news, stock prices, or just another useless fact. Yet although we find plenty of corny jokes on our web, we certainly don’t “cob”: why does the spider? Cobweb was spun out from the Anglo-Saxon word, attercoppes, which means, “poison head.” By the Middle Ages they were abbreviating that to “cop” and calling its product a copweb. Finally it became easier to pronounce as cobweb.

NEWS KICKERS

(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

The 60-year-old leader of a polygamous community in Canada has been found guilty of having 25 wives.  ***I’d say time has already been served though – he has obviously been punished enough.

Justin Bieber has canceled the remaining 15 shows of his Purpose World Tour due to “unforeseen circumstances.”  ***The decision is on purpose, but we don’t know the purpose.

A Michigan woman accused of stealing flowers from local cemeteries to decorate her own home has found out what it’s going to cost her. A judge in Flint sentenced Lisa Corcoran of Vienna Township on Monday to nine months in jail, with credit for 36 days already served. She pleaded guilty in June to attempted larceny of items valued at between $1,000 and $20,000. The 44-year-old Corcoran also will serve three years of probation and perform community service. She was arrested after someone saw a car full of flowers leaving a cemetery.  ***I think the entire nine months of jail time and her community service should be spent caring for the cemetery.

A man in China who claimed he was abducted for two months was eventually released by his captors because he ate too much.  ***Hmm… perhaps that’s why I’ve never been kidnapped.  One look at me and they criminals would have to know they couldn’t afford the food budget.

President Trump told a crowd Tuesday night in Youngstown, Ohio, that other than  Lincoln, he is our most “presidential” of presidents and believes he could one day be on Mt. Rushmore. ***Umm… just… wow.

We can all get stressed and even freak out a little bit from time to time. But the last person you want to find out is having a full-blown nervous breakdown is your pilot! Fortunately the United Airlines jet hadn’t taken off yet. In Austin, Texas a pilot began addressing passengers via the intercom about her divorce and the presidential election (she called both candidates liars) before breaking into tears. The plane was still parked on the runway as she spoke, and about half the passengers got up and left. In a since-deleted video posted by a passenger, the pilot can be heard saying, “Don’t worry, I’m going to let my co-pilot fly!” ***Although after this mental breakdown, I’d be wondering if her co-pilot was a figment of her imagination.

Microsoft says that MS Paint will live on and that Sunday’s announcement was all a big misunderstanding. In response to the attention the potential removal of Paint received, the company clarified that the popular feature will live on in the Windows Store.  ***For all three people who still use it.

There’s a sunken Nazi ship off the coast of Iceland, possibly carrying $130 million worth of gold. But there is some question as to who gets the gold.  ***I vote ME!

People who are blessed to have a solid network of good friends and caring neighbors boost their chances of survival by 50% according to research from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. The team analyzed nearly 150 international studies with 300,000 people from four continents that examined the association between survival odds and social networks. People who had the strongest social networks were nearly twice as likely to be alive at any given age than those who were lonely. The opposite is also true. Having just a few friends is as damaging to survival as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic.  ***Heck, I’ve got over 3,000 friends on Facebook – so I’m like immortal, right?

There’s a 38 percent chance you’ll catch the flu if someone in your household is infected. But according to Trends in Microbiology, you can cut your risk by washing your hands often.  ***And also avoiding licking the palms of the sick person.

A Florida family was jolted awake one recent morning, startled to find that 15 pounds of frozen meat had crashed onto their roof. Travis Adair says: “It was like thunder, and it awakened me out of a sleep.” When family members went outside to investigate, they found two packages of frozen Italian pork sausage in their yard and three more on the roof. Adair adds that the meat sacks must have fallen from above, since they were too heavy to have been thrown onto the roof from the ground. His wife, Jennie, speculated the meat fell from a plane, and may have related to a “drug deal.”  ***Yes – because underground black-market drug transactions are also done using stuff you can get from any grocery store deli counter.

A San Francisco Bay area McDonald’s is testing out crab sandwiches. ***It gets really soggy though when you dip it into the melted butter.

Ex-White House spokesman Sean Spicer needed a mini-fridge when he started with the Trump administration, so he allegedly took one from an office of junior staffers. The “Wall Street Journal” reports that about a month into his short run on the national stage, Spicer lacked a fridge to keep his lunch and beverages chilled. So he sent one of his aides to the office in a building near the White House. The young staffers told the Spicer aide that they would not give up their mini-fridge, so Spicer waited until they left, sneaked into their office and carried the fridge up the White House driveway around 8PM one night.  ***Wow – stealing from the less powerful below you, right from the first day!  That’s gotta be a record.

Catzonia in Malaysia is the world’s first five-star hotel… for cats.  ***The hotel swimming pool is almost never crowded.

The 2018 Ford Mustang GT will be the fastest-ever 0-60 mph — although Ford won’t say precisely how fast — thanks to a new 10-speed automatic transmission, electronic drag mode and upgraded 5.0-liter V8 engine.  ***Exactly what you need for that stop-and-go rush hour traffic.

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

An estimated 250 thousand people in the US are married to a partner who’s a second cousin or closer.  ***This might explain why people vote the way they do in America.  Their brains have a genetic defect.

A new study finds that one minute of all-out exercise may yield the same benefit as 45 minutes of moderate exercise.  ***Well… it appears I have a new exercise program!

A new study finds that while dog lovers love to hug their canine companions, dogs generally don’t like to be hugged, and will often show signs of stress when hugged. ***Okay, so hugging is out… but sniffing people’s butt cracks is perfectly fine.  Got it.

According to a survey , 33% of Americans have dated someone who turned out to be a ‘creep,’ while 35% have dated someone they ended up calling a ‘jerk’ — and 18% have even dated someone who turned out to be a ‘witch.’ Overall, according to the survey, 21% describe being involved in a dating experience that turned out to be just plain ‘toxic.’  ***Although those numbers did calm down for a few short years while Charlie Sheen was married.

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THURSDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: When last we left the jungle, Gruffy Bear was helping out a friend’s bowling team by filling in for an absent player. He was bowling well… so well in fact that he threw three strikes in a row to win the game and move on to the next round! Unfortunately, that would mean he’d have to cancel his checkers game with Sully… for the third time!

CLOSE: Boy, Sully sure is being understanding about all of this. This is the third time that Gruffy has postponed their checkers game! But it’s great to hear Gruffy is doing so well at the bowling alley! Tune in again next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

A man is literally stuck in a life of crime in today’s Moment of Duh!

An Israeli thief found himself literally stuck in a life of crime. During an attempt to steal a car radio, things went embarrassingly wrong for this inDUHvidual. The thief was leaning through a car window in order to remove the car’s stereo, but while doing so he accidentally pressed a button and closed the vehicle’s electronic windows, thus trapping himself. The car’s owner, who was alerted by the crook’s cries for help, had to rescue the thief… but not before waiting for the police to arrive.

TOP TEN

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE FROM THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST

10. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

9. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

8. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

7. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

6. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

5. You know all the important seasons:  Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

4. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

3. You are not fazed by “Today’s forecast: showers followed by rain,” and “Tomorrow’s forecast: rain followed by showers.”

2. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

1. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

How many times do you think an inmate can escape from prison in just over a year and a half? 

FILE #1: Not sure how this can possibly happen but apparently during his 17 months’ federal incarceration in Atlanta, Wayne Milton sneaked out nights at least 50 times in order to continue the high-stakes mortgage-fraud business that had landed him in jail in the first place! He was eventually caught and just got a fresh, 20-year sentence for having bribed the prison guards who allowed his freedom. The smooth-talking Milton was reportedly secretly recorded on a prison phone lining up another mortgage loan just days after his initial incarceration.

FILE #2: In Seminole, Florida, 30-year-old Lance Kocses was cited by police for causing a $5,000 accident. According to a sheriff’s deputy, Lance became distracted while making a left turn because he was eating from a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

FILE #3: A classic story… in 1994 Cindy Hartman’s phone rang in the middle of the night in Conway, Arkansas. She discovered an armed burglar ransacking her home. She fell to her knees and asked if she could pray for him. The burglar broke down, joined her in prayer, and apologized. He brought her belongings back into the house, borrowed a shirt to wipe away his fingerprints, and left his gun behind when he drove away.

STRANGE LAW: Whale fishing is illegal in Nebraska and Oklahoma. Ohio bans it only on Sundays.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

Charleston, West Virginia, police knew there was a problem with drinking and driving during happy hour.

But they never imagined their daytime sobriety checkpoint would net four drunken driving arrests before 8:30, Friday. Police conducted the happy hour sobriety checkpoint near a Moose Lodge beginning at 4pm. The department issued 32 traffic citations and arrested a fifth person for driving on a revoked license for a previous DUI. Two people arrested for drunken driving attempted illegal U-turns before arriving at the checkpoints, but were quickly stopped by police. The first drunken driving arrest was made just 20 minutes into the checkpoint — at 4:20pm. Says a police spokesman: “This confirms our initial beliefs that there is a problem.”

PHONER PHUN

August is coming up in a few days, and it’s one of only a couple of months that doesn’t have a big holiday. We should come up with one. What kind of holiday can we create?

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who said this… and to whom was it said? “All these things I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.”

ANSWER: The devil to Jesus. (Matthew 4:8-9)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: What did King Jehoiakim do to Jeremiah’s scroll of prophecies?

ANSWER: He burned it (Jeremiah 36:28)

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. When Kleenex was first introduced to the market in 1924, it was marketed as a makeup remover. (True)

2. When Scott Paper Co. first started manufacturing toilet paper they were too embarrassed to put their name on the packaging. (True)

3. When Sony introduced the Walkman, it had different names in different countries. (True. It was called “Soundabout” in the U.S., “Stowaway” in the U.K., and “Freestyle” in Australia.)

4. When the General Mills Trix rabbit made its debut in 1961, the line he said was, “I’m a rabbit, and rabbits are supposed to like carrots. But I hate carrots. I like Trix!” (True)

5. Honda is the Japan’s largest maker of musical instruments. (False – Yamaha)

6. The weight of a year’s worth of New York Times newspapers is about 5,000 pounds. (False – 520 pounds)

7. The largest hailstone ever recorded was 7.5 inches in diameter. (False – try 17.5 inches in diameter; bigger than a basketball!)

8. On average a baby’s heart will beat about 6 million times before it is born. (False – 60 million times)

9. In ancient Greece the word ‘idiot’ meant a private citizen or layman. (True)

10. The great pyramids of Egypt now stand a full 3 miles south of the spot where they were originally built. (True – that’s how much the earth’s surface has shifted in the last 4,500 years.)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

SWIMMING _______ (CARS)

Fiats were swimming off Miami’s South Beach over the weekend.

The cars were driven by models and drove across the water to islands near Miami.   The cars seemed to handle just as well on the water as the did on the road.  Some say they work even better on the water – especially making turns.

The cars, mostly Fiats, were designed for navigating Italy’s winding, narrow, streets, but they can also ride along the water.  A fleet was seen racing a boat in the ocean off Miami Beach.    The cars get about 30 mph on the road and can get up to 60mph on the water.

President Obama praised the hydrocars, reportedly saying, “This is the kind of innovative approach to travel that we have been looking for.  These cars are safe, fast and they are good for the environment.”

President Obama ordered three of the hydrocars for himself, his wife and his daughter, Sasha (who will be driving soon).Car & Driver magazine says that this may be the greatest automobile every invented.  The hydrocars should be available all across the United States – by September.

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging remark about the men who had been chatting her up.

She laughed gaily, “When I don’t want a man’s attentions,” she confided, “and he asks where I live, I just say, ‘I’m visiting here’.”

“Wow, that’s pretty clever,” he laughed, relishing her humor. “So where DO you live?”

“I’m just visiting here.”

JOKE #2

“I would like some vitamins for my son,” the mother said as she walked into the pharmacy.

“Vitamins A, B, or C?” asks the pharmacist.

“It doesn’t matter, he can’t read yet.”

JOKE #3

A Bishop was approached one morning by a Priest. “Your Eminence,” the Priest said, “there’s a young lad here who claims to be seeing a vision of our Savior in the chapel. What should I do?”

The Bishop jumped up saying, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna look real busy!”

USELESS FACTS

Laughter really is contagious. Merely hearing someone else laugh activates the region in your brain involved in vocalizing, promoting actual chuckles.  ***Maybe I should start doing this show with a laugh track.

A study says more time in daycare causes more behavior problems in kids. ***You know you’ve chosen the wrong daycare when their idea of a large play area is a big screen TV.

FEATURED FUNNIES

JOB REJECTION

Have you ever had a resume rejected? Don’t ever let it happen again. The next time that nasty old rejection letter comes your way, respond with your own:

Dear [Interviewer’s Name]:

Thank you for your letter of . After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite ‘s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm beginning on . I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

A dog with a craving for donuts has been blamed for starting a house fire!

A Ridgefield, Washington family left a box of donuts on the stove and left their house.  The family’s dog jumped up onto the stove to get to the donuts and accidentally flipped on a burner. The burner set the box on fire and the fire spread from the kitchen to the attic. The dog, home alone when the fire started, escaped injury.  ***MARLAR: So I guess doughnuts and hot dogs DO go together!

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me.” Psalm 16:7

At night, when our hearts are still, God speaks to us. To Solomon, God appeared with a fantastic question, one that we could only dream about someone asking us: “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!” (2 Chronicles 1:7). Solomon’s request should forever instruct us in what is truly important. Instead of asking for riches, long life, or the destruction of his enemies, his simple request was for more wisdom to care for the people of God. Anyone who puts the purposes of God and His people ahead of his own personal fortunes and fame will instantly win the favor of the Lord. “And he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern” (Matthew 6:33). Let us ask God for wisdom—not to make money or to control others, but to be able to administrate His kingdom with precision. When our hearts are separated from the world, God will give us the finances, physical health, and other things we need to help us accomplish our heart’s desire for Him.

–By Larry Stockstill

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

CALLED TO BLESS OTHERS

READ: Genesis 12:1-9

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. —Hebrews 11:8

One of life’s most distressing experiences is being separated from the things and the people we love. It is often difficult to leave a house that holds many pleasant memories, and it is always hard to say goodbye to loved ones when we must leave them.

So it wasn’t easy for Abraham to obey God’s demand that he separate himself from his country and his friends and relatives. Yet, without obedience to God’s command, there would have been no blessing for him or his descendants.

God called Abraham to this life of special consecration because He had chosen him to be the channel through which He would work His plan of redemption. The human race had rebelled and become idolatrous, and Abraham needed to worship the one true God.

It is still the duty of all believers to sever connections with anything that hinders our spiritual progress and effectiveness. We must forsake all sin, all self-will, and every worldly pleasure that draws our heart away from God.

If we do this, when we are tested and tried the spiritual fiber of our lives will stand the test. We’ll be strengthened in the process, so that we in turn might be a blessing to those around us. —Herbert Vander Lugt

All for Jesus, all for Jesus!
All my being’s ransomed powers:
All my thoughts and words and doings,
All my days and all my hours. —James

Attachment to Christ is the secret of detachment from the world.

LEFTOVERS

THINKING UNDER THE INFLUENCE


According to a new survey done by the American Psychological Association’s, researchers have found that it’s almost as dangerous to “Think and Drive” as it is to “Drink and Drive”!  They say even as simple a task as visualizing each letter of the alphabet one-by-one while driving can cause drivers to fix their eyes on certain points for long periods – instead of glancing in their mirrors or at the dashboard. Such dangers are likely as well if the driver just “thinks about the concerns of his or her day”.  ***MARLAR: So what do you say when the officer pulls you over for speeding? “Sorry officer, I wasn’t thinking” OR “Sorry officer, I was just thinking”?

LIFE… LIVE IT

LIP SMACKING GOOD
Ladies, if you just can’t get enough coffee, there’s a lipstick just for you.

…The cosmetic company “Hard Candy” has a coffee-flavored lipstick. Company founder Dineh Mohajer said, “The idea was women are drinking coffee in the morning and putting on make-up. We thought we might as well combine them.” Each stick has 18 mg of caffeine and wearers are supposed to get a “hit” each time they lick their lips. They currently have three different shades of beige — Café o Lip, Latte Lip and Lipachino. A brilliant red caffeinated color called “Redeye” is in the works. ***MARLAR: This is a great thing for guys too. You kiss your wife goodbye, and save the time and money you would’ve spent at Starbucks!

SPEAKING OF COFFEE, MORE COFFEE TALK
Did You Know: A new study reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association found drinking coffee everyday may prevent Parkinson’s disease. Researchers in Hawaii studied 8,000 men and found those who don’t drink coffee are five times as likely to get Parkinson’s as those who drink between four and five cups a day.

JUST FOR FUN

RUBBER BAND BOY

Once, rubber bands bound things together. Then they became makeshift weapons: Loop one end around a thumb, pull the other and pop at your little brother’s big head. At some point, someone — maybe a bored office worker — started wrapping them together, and balls began to form. And they just kept getting bigger.

Houston, Texas, resident Dean Wade started his ball back in 1975, when he worked at a downtown bank. He noticed a security guard’s rubber-band ball and asked how it was made. Figure it out yourself, the guard replied rudely. Wade did. That’s how Reba — yes, his ball has a name — was born. She weighs just 105.7 pounds, which sounds like a lot of rubber bands. But in the world of rubber-band hobbyists, she’s far from being ready for a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. Guinness folks report that the current record-holder for largest rubber-band ball is John Bain of Delaware, whose ball weighs 3,120 pounds. Still, the 49-year-old said he won’t stop growing Reba until she’s the largest ball in the world. He says he shooting for 10,000 pounds. Wade is retired and lives with his mother on a fixed income. He suffers from epileptic seizures, making it difficult to work. He can’t afford to buy rubber bands and relies on donations from friends and family. ***MARLAR: Couldn’t he just write a check? No – because it’d bounce.

FUN LIST

ONLY IN THE MOVIES

The summer movie season is in full swing. So Men’s Health came up with this list of things happen all the time on screen, but never in real life: “I’ve never…”

  • Bumped my head and gotten amnesia.

  • Left the water on in the bathroom sink long enough to flood the whole house.

  • Been chased through the forest, tripped, and twisted my ankle, compromising my escape, but I still say, “Don’t stop. Go on without me.”

  • Been stuck in an elevator.

  • Been stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman.

  • Said, “Open this door or I’m breaking it down.”

  • Found myself on top of a moving train.

  • Picked a lock with a credit card.

  • Said, “Don’t do it, man. Just give me the gun.”

  • Been to a wedding where someone stood up and objected.

  • Collapsed onto my car horn.

  • Seen a bunch of homeless guys standing around a flaming trash can, singing doo-wop and wearing gloves with the fingers cut off.

  • Dialed a “555” phone number.

  • Closed my medicine-cabinet door and seen someone in the mirror who wasn’t there 3 seconds ago.

  • Run into a church where the girl I loved was about to get married to someone else, but upon seeing me stopped the wedding and professed her love to me.

  • Rushed to the airport to stop the woman I just realized I love from leaving, and as I get to the gate, I see her plane pulling away, and then feel empty because I think that my best chance at love is now gone, but, as I turn away, she’s standing there because she decided at the last minute not to get on the plane because she realized that she loves me too and was hoping I would come to the airport to get her.

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE BACK

Cool stuff Bounce dryer sheets can be used for… other than freshening up the smell of your laundry (supposedly – I haven’t actually tried any of these things)…

  1. Bounce will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.

  2. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.

  3. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

  4. Eliminates static electricity from your television screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

  5. Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.

  6. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

  7. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

  8. Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

  9. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan while the fabric softening agents soften the baked-on food.

  10. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

  11. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

  12. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

  13. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

  14. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

  15. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight so they will smell better in the AM.

  16. Take the used sheet from your dryer and then wipe the lint trap with it. It cleans it perfectly.

***MARLAR: Tie a sheet to the outside handle of the front door of your house to ward off door-to-door salesmen.  I don’t know if it’ll work or not, but Bounce seems to be able to do so many other things, it might be worth a shot.

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Doctors recommend eight solid hours of sleep each night, but workers aren’t clocking in. This lack of sleep is leaving employees less productive, unmotivated and more agitated with co-workers. So, who’s to blame? The answer is … work: A survey on sleep and the U.S. workplace from CareerBuilder (conducted by Harris Poll) reported that 58 percent of 32,000 workers surveyed said they weren’t getting enough sleep, and 61 percent said that sleep deprivation affected their work. For some, it’s a vicious cycle: 44 percent of workers said that just thinking about work kept them up at night.  ***I guess you could quit your job – but then you’d just be up all night wondering about how you’ll pay your bills.

When it comes to mothers and daughters, the apple does not fall far from the tree. A recent study by Hallmark cards reveals that at about age 32, women find they are turning into their moms, copying habits like worrying, stocking up on groceries and watching soap operas. And that is also when they begin to use “mom-isms” like “Because I said so,” and “I’ll give you something to cry about.” According to behavioral expert Judi James, it is perfectly natural as you age to begin to act like the most important person in your life.  ***I can see this in my own life.  Every day I notice mannerisms in myself that remind me of my dad.  The older I get, the more I am becoming him.

Money CAN buy happiness, but there’s a catch: You have to keep appreciating things your money buys you, say Texas Tech University researchers. “Just having a nice car or beautiful handbag won’t make you happy in the long run,” says Jeff Larsen, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology, “unless you continue to value it even after you’ve had it for a while.” How to maintain fresh gratitude for your not so fresh belongings? At least once a week take a moment to reflect on why you fell in love with your possession in the first place. It might work when you’re mad at your spouse, too.

Ah, the art of old fashioned letter writing. Almost non-existent these days. But 28-year-old poet Jodi Ann Bickley plans to write one million of them. The letters will be to people who need a bit of advice or help at with something in their life. She would know having overcome her own suicidal tendencies. It seems when she was 23 she was bitten by a tick and developed encephalitis – a rarity that only happens to one-in-200,000 people who are bitten. That led to a stroke resulting in her being paralyzed on one side of her body. However, she taught herself to write again and her project – One Million Lovely Letters – is the continuation of this. She’s been writing letters and notes to strangers since she was 11. In fact, you can email her at onemillionlovelyletters@gmail.com and ask her to write a letter to you. Just be patient – she probably has quite a lot of letters to get through. On her website Jodi says of the project: “To every other person on the planet-I’m going to write you a letter. A letter just to make the day a bit better or to remind you of the bloody amazing stuff about you that you’ve forgotten because we all forget once in a while.” Hmmm, my only questions is where does she get the $500,000 or so she’ll need for stamps?

There’s going to be a solar eclipse on August 21. So what will you see? A free tool at vox.com shows you what to expect.  http://ow.ly/r7lQ30dVn7W

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

I don’t mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

JULY 21, 2017…

Dunkirk—Here comes one of the big war movies of the year. “Dunkirk” directed by Christopher Nolan and with cinematography by Hoyte Van Hoyterna (they had worked together on “Interstellar”), gives the audience the sensation of WWII, in the 1940’s and what it was like to have your back to the water’s edge and the enemy closing in. The evacuation of Dunkirk, France took almost 300,000 Allied soldiers, and with every means possible, brought them to Great Britain across the English Channel. You get the view from the ground, sea and the air. Massive undertaking. The stars of the film, Fionn Whitehead (new actor on the ground) and Tom Hardy (seasoned actor in a fighter plane) are the people to watch in the melee of activity. So, movie fans, fasten your seat belts and prepare for a rocky sea journey. IMAX cameras were used for part of the filming to bring the audience into the action and keep track of the actors. “Dunkirk” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.

First Kill—Hayden Christiansen is on a holiday and hoping for a pleasant trip. However, he accidentally witnesses a serious crime. Someone sees him and then take Hayden’s son as a hostage, telling Hayden to get them money. What a situation. “First Kill” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Landline—Yes, the word “landline” is still operational. In this film two sisters who have not gotten along (Abby Quinn and Jenny Slate) are suddenly suspicious that their Dad (John Turturro) is having an affair. What to do? Tell Mom? (Edie Falco) Say nothing…or do a little investigating themselves. Such is the plot. “Landline” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Girls Trip—Seems as though everyone is going on a vacation this summer.  Hayden Christiansen is in trouble with bank robbers, and in “Girls Trip,” four woman decide to go on a trip and have a good time. They are Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall and Tiffany Haddish. Look out, world, here they come. The film is set in New Orleans. “Girls Trip” is rated R. No rating.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets—This science fiction film, directed by Luc Besson, concerns a fabulous city in the sky that evolved from the first Space Station. It is centuries later and the city (actually called Alpha) is over 18 miles long. Of course, there are problems there. Stars Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans.

Polina (opening in select cities)—This is the story of a young girl (Anastasia Shevtsova) who wants to be a dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet and is—this close—to getting in when she discovers modern dance. What to do? She leaves town and moves to France and studies with Juliette Binoche. Is the impossible…possible?  Beautiful choreography. “Polina” is rated PG 13. A French language film with subtitles. Rating of 2 for dance fans.

JULY 28, 2017…

Atomic Blonde is Charlize Theron as an assassin who can clear a room in 30 seconds or less.

The Emoji Movie is—guess what—a movie on emotions when one emoji doesn’t have feelings.

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth To Power (documentary) has Al Gore with more information on global warming.

From The Land Of The Moon with Marion Cotillard deciding between two men.

The Incredible Jessica James is a romance between Jessica Williams and Chris O’Dowd.

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