October 19, 2017: Thursday ONAIRprep

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

The management of this station is not responsible for any loss of dignity suffered while listening to today’s (JOCK SHOW).

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” — Colossians 3:12

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” –Mark 10:13-14

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing, and perfect will. — Romans 12:2

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? — Luke 9:25

Thought: I once had a picture in my office of a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer with the caption, “Who says you can’t take it with you?” While it is humorous, it is also wrong … DEAD wrong. If we lose our souls in the pursuit of things, what of lasting value have we gained? Is it worth losing the only thing that really matters?

Prayer: Loving Father, help me keep my eyes on what is truly valuable and use the other blessings in my life to bring you glory and to bless others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Proverbs 10:19 NIV = Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.

TODAY IS THURSDAY – OCTOBER 19, 2017

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
68 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Today is MAKE A SCARECROW DAY. ***Not much use at the office, unless it keeps that co-worker from secretly eating that homemade lunch you put in the fridge.

Today is EVALUATE YOUR LIFE DAY.  ***And if the most entertainment in your life is now making a scarecrow, you should probably re-evaluate your life.

TODAY IS ALSO…

Conflict Resolution Day:
Diwali
Evaluate Your Life Day
Get to Know Your Customers Day
Get Smart About Credit Day
International Credit Union Day
Read for The Record Day
Spirit Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20

Mammography Day
Miss American Rose Day
National Pharmacy Buyer Day

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 21

Birth of the Bab
Bridge Day
Celebration of The Mind Day
Global Iodine Deficiency Disorder (IDD) Prevention Day
Reptile Awareness Day
Sweetest Day

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 22

Caps Locks Day
International Stuttering Awareness Day
Kof Awareness Day
Mother-in-Law Day
National Nut Day
Smart is Cool Day
Xterra World Championships

MONDAY, OCTOBER 23

IPod Day
Lung Health Day
National Mole Day
Swallows Depart from San Juan Capistrano Day
TV Talk Show Host Day (always on Johnny Carson’s birthday)

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 24

Food Day
United Nations Day
World Development Information Day

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 25

Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day
International Artists Day
Sourest Day
Unity Day
World Pasta Day

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 26

Howl at The Moon Night
Mule Day (Historical, not celebration. Honors the importation of the first Spanish Jacks to the US which were a gift from King Charles III of Spain delivered October 26, 1785 in Boston.George Washington then began breeding them in the US. For the celebration, go to March 31 or Columbia, TN )
National Day of The Deployed

ON THIS DAY

1952: Some 14-thousand fans paid from a dollar to $2.80 to attend a 3:00 p.m. rehearsal and the 7:00 p.m. wedding of singer Hank Williams and Billy Jean Eshlimar at New Orleans’ municipal auditorium.

1953: Singer Julius LaRosa, a regular on the CBS television program “Arthur Godfrey Time,” was fired on the air by Godfrey, who accused him of lacking humility.

1976: President Gerald Ford signed a bill posthumously making George Washington a 6-star general, the highest ever U.S. military rank. ***And after all of that George didn’t even have the decency to show up for the awards ceremony.

1983: The annual 2-day White Elephant Sale at the Cleveland Convention Center made $427,935.21, the most ever raised at a 2-day rummage sale. ***Of course, the white elephant itself was none too happy about being auctioned off… but hey, it was for charity.

1997: Holly, Colorado, designated the school crossing guard to handle emergencies after the town marshall and his deputy resigned and another deputy was fired. It worked out okay. In six weeks, the community of 900 had only one emergency when somebody stole the trash can at the car wash.

1998: Mike Tyson got his boxing license back after pleading with the Nevada Athletic Commission to stop “torturing” him for biting Evander Holyfield’s ear during a fight 15 months earlier.

1999: A 29-year-old ginger and white tomcat named Spike was crowned as Britain’s oldest cat. Owner Mo Elkington attributed Spike’s 203 equivalent human years to a diet laced daily with bits from the aloe vera plant.

2001: A 23-year-old student teacher, rushing to get ready for class, tripped and swallowed the 5-inch, pink toothbrush she had in her mouth. Vania Lucchesi, of Cardiff, Wales, had the presence of mind to take a taxi to the University Hospital, where a surgeon made a small incision in her stomach and removed the toothbrush within 15 minutes. Doctors said the mishap could have been serious if the brush had stuck and blocked the patient’s airways.

2003: New York magician David Blaine emerged from 44 days of isolation in a clear plastic box suspended over London. He survived only on water.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1562: Birth of George Abbot, archbishop of Canterbury. A recognized leader of the English Calvinists, Abbot also demonstrated Puritan sympathies, and took a leading part in translating the 1611 King James Version of the Bible.

1609: Death of Jacob Arminius, 49, the Dutch theologian who lent his name to the beliefs (known today at Arminianism) which oppose the major tenets of Protestant Reformed (Calvinist) theology.

1720: Birth of John Woolman, American Quaker reformer. His “Journal,” written from 1756-72, greatly influenced 19th century abolitionists.

1744: English revivalist George Whitefield, 29, arrived in Maine at the start of his second visit to America. Whitefield struggled to adapt the beliefs of Calvinism to the Arminian teachings of proto-Methodists John and Charles Wesley.

1921: Birth of Bill Bright, American youth evangelist. Bill and his wife Vonette founded Campus Crusade for Christ in 1951, incorporating this evangelical Christian student organization in California in 1953.

2003: Pope John Paul II beatified Mother Teresa, the world famous nun, before hundreds of thousands of pilgrims packed into St. Peter`s Square in Vatican City, the last formal step to sainthood.

BIRTHDAY RAP-UP

  • actor (The Gospel) Omar Gooding 41

  • comedian (“Saturday Night Live”) Chris Kattan 47 (audio clip)

  • Actor (Daredevil, Iron Man, “Friends”) Jon Favreau, 51 (audio clip)

  • actor (Cliffhanger, “3rd Rock from the Sun”) John Lithgow is 72 (audio clip)

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1911 : Mahalia Jackson

1923 : Bert Kaempfert

1935 : Sugar Pie DeSanto

1937 : Emile Ford (Emile Ford and the Checkmates)

1938 : Nico

1938 : Christa Paffgen

1942 : Dave Lovelady (The Fourmost)

1943 : C.F. Turner (Bachman-Turner Overdrive)

1947 : Bob Weir (Grateful Dead)

1953 : Tony Carey

1959 : Gary Kemp (Spandau Ballet)

1962 : Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

1969 : Wendy Wilson (Wilson Phillips)

1977 : John Mayer

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Why are computer keyboards arranged as they are?

Computer keyboards are arranged in the so-called “QWERTY” pattern because, in the early days of mechanical typewriters, proficient typists could type so fast that the keys frequently jammed against each other. In an effort to space often-used keys apart to prevent jamming, the familiar but illogical QWERTY pattern was developed.

NEWS KICKERS

(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

President Trump recently noted that he had met with the president of the Virgin Islands – when he apparently meant the governor of the territory – since he, Trump, is president of the Virgin Islands.  ***So then, Trump was telling THE TRUTH!

Monday Night Football ratings have hit a season low.  ***Almost as low as the players during the National Anthem.  Gee, I wonder if there’s a correlation there.

A Florida woman got into an argument with a 7-11 employee and is facing a battery charge after allegedly throwing a “cup full of hot nacho cheese” at the worker. ***7-Eleven… where the people of Walmart go to gas up!

Star Trek: Discovery really is boldly going where no Trek series has gone before: straight into the F-bomb zone. Sunday’s fifth episode delivered not just one but two f-bomb payloads into the CBS All Access-sphere, with Cadet Tilly (Mary Wiseman) and Lt. Stamets (Anthony Rapp) getting the honors. ***How is this possible though, if during Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Spock had never been exposed to cursing?  Continuity error!!!!!

Hillary Clinton was running downstairs with a cup of coffee and fell backwards. Now, she’s making her book tour appearances in London with a broken toe and a foot boot.  ***She’s blaming the fall on Bernie Sanders, the alt-right, James Comey, and Russia.

Just so you don’t run out of things to worry about, sometime in the next few months, China’s 8-1/2 ton Space Lab, Tiangong 1 will crash somewhere on earth.  ***Can someone please contact Bruce Willis, Will Smith, and Arnold Schwarzenegger so they can save us from this disaster?!?!

There’s a new world record for naked miniature golf. 47 men and women set the record in Sydney on Sunday. The event was organised by the Young Nudists of Australia. Putting participants were 18 to 40-years-old.  ***You have to be pretty confident in your manhood if you’re willing golf naked with people around using the word “mini”.

Status messages of up to 101 characters that you can set to expire may soon come to Facebook. Before they became “posts,” Facebook statuses all began with an “is” (as in “Alex is jogging”), giving them a timely feel, and Facebook seems to be trying to bring some of that back with a “temporary profile status” feature.  ***I don’t know if I would personally take advantage of this – but you gotta admit, with what people have been posting as of late, it’s not a terrible idea to have posts disappear on a regular basis.

A guy in Tuscon trying to kill spiders with a blowtorch accidentally burned down his house. The man was using a propane torch to burn the spiders living underneath his trailer home.  ***I think we can safely assume he did kill the spiders though… so good job!

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Americans are concerned about poor eating habits. In fact, according to a Barna Survey, nearly half of Americans are concerned they eat too much. But not every generation is equally worried. In fact, the study found that Millennials are almost twice as likely as elders to express concern about their diet and nutrition. But age is not the only striking demographic difference. Practicing Christians, it turns out, tend to be more concerned about their diet choices than other Americans. ***Which is surprising, since we know these bodies are only temporary and that we’ll receive glorified bodies on the other side of eternity.  You’d think Christians would be more likely to think of their bodies as disposable.

People accustomed to nagging from doctors and family members that they’re not taking their medications properly may get some help from an unlikely source. New designs for drug packages and plans for labels that are easier to understand aim to help people stick to their drug regimens. New technologies include a bottle cap with a wireless chip that signals to patients if they are late in taking their medicine by triggering flashing lights and audible alerts.  ***To ensure patients take their medication quickly, the next step is to equip each pill bottle with the nagging voice of Roseanne Barr.

The average American woman spends thousands of dollars each year on beauty and salon treatments.  That’s about 160 hours of grooming and primping. Phoebe Baker Hyde decided to explore what would happen if she gave up makeup for an entire year.  “I did what a man would do. Put on deodorant. Put on a little gel and head out the door. Maybe I can approximate that. The makeup would go, the jewelry would go,” Baker Hyde, the author of the book, “The Beauty Experiment.” The result? Baker Hyde said she felt more beautiful than ever without all the makeup.   ***Probably because she saved so much money that she could afford liposuction.

Dark chocolate may have health benefits but should it be turned into a nutritional supplement? Researchers are preparing for a study to find out if there is a way to get the potential health boost of cocoa without all the calories found in chocolate bars. They are currently recruiting men aged 60 and older and women aged 65 and older to participate in a four-year study trial of cocoa extract. Half of the participants will take the cocoa extract capsules. The other half of the participants will take a placebo. ***We should add a third group of people of any age who want to eat KitKat bars… I’ll do it… it’s for science!

When cruising the open road, you might like to roll down your windows and feel the breeze. But researchers (University of Surrey) say when driving in cities or crawling in heavy highway traffic, keep them windows shut — and turn off your AC or heater, too. Do this, and you’ll slash the amount of toxic particles pouring into your car by a whopping 76 percent.  ***Rolled up windows, no AC?  Do these researches not have SUMMER where they live?

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THURSDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational inspiration in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!

CLOSE: So what’s so exciting about walking to the library? We’ll find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

If you get a letter in the mail with white powder… it may not necessarily be dangerous… but I would not test that theory. One company’s irresponsible mail-order promotion, coming up!

It turns out that millions of letters were dropped in the mail recently containing a white powder. Doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it? I’d have to agree… but it’s not stopping Nutricia, Ltd. in Wiltshire, England. It’s not drugs or poison, but a harmless baking mix. Of course, the post-office is furious about this, saying the decision to go ahead with the promotion is “irresponsible”, “outrageous” and “in extremely bad taste”. ***MARLAR: I don’t have any “duh” comments for this story.  Some stories are so duh, and the people and companies so duh, that a duh comment would only take away from their duh-ness.

TOP TEN
You Know Something’s Wrong When…

10. There are so many signs of trouble… How does one keep track of them all?

9. Your accountant’s letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.

8. You have to hitchhike to the bank to make your car payment.

7. Your suggestion box starts ticking.

6. The simple instructions enclosed aren’t.

5. You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.

4. The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.

3. Your pacemaker has only a thirty-day guarantee.

2. You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

1. They pay your wages out of petty cash.

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Robbing a bank is not a game – even if you have the toys to do it.

FILE #1: A struggling Austrian toyshop owner was arrested after he tried to rob a bank with one of his toy guns. The man stormed into a local bank with a stocking over his head and a gun in his hand, and demanded clerks empty their tills. But a security guard noticed the ‘weapon’ was a plastic water pistol and asked him to hand over the toy to avoid “an even bigger embarrassment”.

FILE #2: Authorities say they’ve seized late-model flat-screen TVs, DVD players and stereos, assorted firearms and mobile phones from jail cells in the national penitentiary near Manila. The Bureau of Corrections Director said he ordered the prison sweep after an upsurge in the electricity bill.

FILE #3: James Davis was in a hurry. And you know how frustrating it is when the car in front of you is just creeping along. That’s what was happening, so he decided to express his irritation by honking at the car. That in itself isn’t such a bad idea. It’s the fact that the slow traveling car was a police cruiser that got him into trouble. Things got even worse when the cops pulled him over to see what the rush was and discovered Mr. Davis was intoxicated. He’s been arrested.

STRANGE LAW: Seattle, Washington residents may not carry concealed weapons longer than six feet.  (How you carry a concealed weapon as long as you are tall is still up for debate.)

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

Authorities in Tennessee say a 10-year-old was driving about 90 miles an hour when he crashed a van.

They say his passengers were two other young children, along with two adults who had been drinking and taking pills. A sheriff’s official says authorities arrived on the scene to find a woman trying to swallow as many pills as she could and a man who reported drinking at least 15 beers. A photo released by the sheriff’s office shows the man wearing a T-shirt saying, “Buy this dad a beer.” After the crash, everyone in the van was taken to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries. Authorities says the children — two 10-year-olds and a six-year-old — are believed to be related to the adults. The children have been placed in state care. The adults are facing multiple charges.

PHONER PHUN

What do you make homemade that is better than a store or restaurant? (Willing to share the recipe with the rest of our audience via our website?)

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: How many of Jesus’ brothers wrote books of the Bible?

ANSWER: Two, James and Jude (Matthew 13)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: On the TV show, “Perry Mason” how many trials did Perry Mason lose?

ANSWER: One.  (October 17, 1963: TV defense attorney Perry Mason lost his only trial to district attorney Hamilton Burger. Mason’s client refused to reveal the evidence that would save her. But then, of course, Perry found the real culprit and exonerated his client despite herself.)

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. Mosquito repellents don’t repel. (True. They don’t repel, they actually hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there. Also, the powder on the bark of a quaking aspen tree works as a mosquito repellent.)

2. Residents of Chicago, IL lead the U.S. in eating out. (False – the leaders live in Houston, Texas – approximately 4.6 times per week.)

3. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one-mile in every five must be straight so airplanes can use the highways in case of emergency. (True.)

4. “Hang on Sloopy” is the official rock song of Ohio. (True.)

5. California consumes more bottled water than any other state. (True – not only that, but bottled water is consumed more than any other product in California!)

6. Jesus Christ has a drivers license in California. (True – in fact, California has issued 6 drivers licenses to people named “Jesus Christ.”)

7. The typical hen lays 100 dozen eggs a year. (False – it’s only 19 dozen a year)

8. Lettuce is a member of the sunflower family. (True.)

9. More than half of U.S. households consume turkey deli meat at least once every two weeks. (False – only a fourth of households do.)

10. Two hundred years ago, in every election, the U.S. Presidential candidate who came in second in a presidential race automatically became vice president. (True – prior to the adoption of the Twelfth Amendment in 1804, the candidate who ran second in a presidential race automatically became vice president. Thomas Jefferson became John Adams’ vice president in this way.)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

VIRGIN GALACTIC TO FLY TO _______ (THE SUN)

Richard Branson announced that Virgin Galactic is going to fly to sun!

Sir Richard Branson announced that the RedKnight aircraft that will fly to the sun starting next year.  The plane will be able to hold 238 passengers.  And the airline will be booking flights starting next month.

The Virgin Galactic team is thrilled to be the first airline to fly to the sun.

During the flight passengers will be able to float around the cabin due to weightlessness.  Passengers will all be equipped with a heat protection suit that will keep them at a cool 72 degrees as they approach the sun.

“We would love to land on the Sun, but that isn’t possible… yet,” reportedly said Sir Richard.

Accompanied by his partner, Jackie Lavin, today, Branson said: ‘I wanted to be the first Irishman in space and I’m really looking forward to it and being the first human to get close to the sun.

“I’ve been interested in space ever since I followed comic hero Dan Dare when I was a kid.”

NASA is skeptical about the flight to the sun.  ”They’re going to burn up as son as they pass Venus,” said Dr. Keith Bablon of NASA.  ”I wouldn’t ever get on that plane.”

“He’s not invited,” said Sir Richard.

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

After leaving the racetrack Bill bumped into his old friend Peter on the bus.

“Say,” Peter said, “How’s it going?”

“Going? You want to hear one of the most amazing things that ever happened? Tell me – what’s today’s date?”

“July seventh.”

“Right. The seventh day, of the seventh month. I go to the track at seven minutes past seven. My son is seven years old today, and we live at number seven, Seventh Avenue.”

“Let me guess,” Peter interrupted. “You put everything you had on the seventh horse in the seventh race.”

“Right.”

“And he won?!”

“No. He came in seventh.”

JOKE #2

The police recently busted a man selling ‘secret formula’ tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. 
When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud. 

He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983.

JOKE #3

There were two old boys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing.
They’d heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle.

One of them said, “We’re going to need an ice pick.”

So they got that, and they took off.

In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, “We’re going to need another dozen ice picks.”
Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn’t. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back. “We’re going to need all the ice picks you’ve got.”

The bait man couldn’t stand it any longer. “By the way,” he asked, “how are you fellows doing?”

“Not very well at all,” he said. “We don’t even have the boat in the water yet.”

USELESS FACTS

There is a very small town in West Virginia called “Big Ugly”. ***No one has any idea why it was named that, but you know, it’s probably a redneck thing. There was a woman from Big Ugly who entered a beauty pageant, and won. The headline in the local paper read, “Big Ugly Woman Wins Beauty Pageant”.

Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, was originally an instructor for deaf children and invented the telephone to help his deaf wife and mother to hear. ***He then went deaf himself hearing them say, “Why don’t you ever call?!? You never call!”

We automatically perceive people who smell good as more attractive. ***There you go boys, proof that your AXE Body Spray is not a pleasant smell.  Otherwise, you’d be surrounded by babes like in their commercials.

FEATURED FUNNIES

PUMPKIN MATH

QUESTION: What do you get if you divide the circumference of your pumpkin by its diameter?

ANSWER: Pumpkin Pi

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

OF COURSE, YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST RENAME THE TOWN

The joke in Big Lake, Texas, is that there is no lake.

…well, once in a while there is: the 1,000-acre lake is dry, and has only had water when someone has bothered to pump some in. And mayor J.R. Dunn wants to do just that. He wants to drill between 50-100 wells to feed the lake on an ongoing basis. The down side is that the idea would cost at least $2 million, which is way too much than what the town of 3,500 people can afford. Besides, they also have drinking water and irrigation problems to take of too. One local resident said the evaporation in Big Lake Texas was so bad that you’d be looking at more than a million gallons of water every day that would need to be replaced. But Mayor Dunn is undeterred. “We are sitting here living in a town called Big Lake and we don’t have a lake,” he whined.  ***MARLAR: Oh please… just paint the dirt blue and be done with it!

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

HOW MUCH DOES PATIENCE COST?

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

“How much is an ice cream sundae?”

“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his handout of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. “How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress as a bit impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she said brusquely.

The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies — her tip.

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

FOR HIS EYES ONLY

Your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. —Matthew 6:18

Typically, as we age we lose our prominence and our positions of influence. Even those of us who have never sought the limelight seem increasingly to fade into the shadows.

Obscurity and anonymity are good, however, for it is difficult to perform in public without wondering what impression we’re making on others. We fret over the extent that our reputations are being enhanced or damaged. And therein lies our peril: To the degree that we seek human recognition, we forfeit God’s approval. On the other hand, to lose the admiration of men and women may turn us to seek God’s approval only.

Here is a test for our gifts, our prayers, our fasts: Are they done for God’s eyes only? If so, though overlooked and unnoticed by others, we have our Father’s acknowledgment and reward.

Three times Jesus repeated to His disciples: “Your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” (Matt. 6:4,6,18). This is our assurance as well. Every unobserved gift of time, energy, and love; every petition we whisper in our Father’s ears; every secret, inward struggle against sin and self-indulgence will be fully rewarded in due time. In the end, His “Well done, good and faithful servant” is all that will matter (Matt. 25:21). —David H. Roper

All service rendered to the Lord
Is sure to gain His rich reward;
And if we work with motives pure,
Our weakest efforts will endure. —D. De Haan

There is no reward from God to those who seek it from men. —Spurgeon

LEFTOVERS

A LITTLE GOOFY

Ugandan officials are currently looking for a hunter who pursues Gorilla. But he doesn’t stop there.

… once he finds them, he doesn’t kill them for food or trophies; in fact, he doesn’t kill them at all. In a bizarre twist from normal, he tranquilizes the gorillas, dresses them in clown outfits, and then makes his getaway. That means that he leaves the gorillas to wander around in their clown outfits until Officials find them, and re-tranquilize the big apes and to remove the outfits.

LIFE… LIVE IT

Here’s something to sink your teeth into. If you’re looking for a dazzling smile, Lubbock, Texas, may not be the place to go. According to a study in Men’s Health magazine, Lubbock has the worst teeth of the 100 large U.S. cities surveyed. The Texas cities of El Paso, San Antonio and Dallas also ranked low. On the other hand, the best teeth were found in Madison, Wisconsin; Nashville, and Raleigh, North Carolina.

JUST FOR FUN

SPEEDY GETAWAY

A thief drives off in a $125,000 car after convincing the dealership that he was the true owner!

A thief in California, has driven off in a new $125,000 Porsche after convincing sales staff it was his. The real buyer, who’d waited two years for his special order, arrived 20 minutes later at the dealership. Police are still looking for the Porsche 996 Turbo and the man who drove it. They say he arrived at the dealership dressed in a grey business suit and carrying a handheld computer. According to police detective Dana de la Rocha, the general manager had just told a worker to finish washing the car, because the customer who ordered it was on his way. The suspect then told the worker the Porsche was his and was given the keys. ***MARLAR: Unbelievable.  This guy gets away with driving off in a Porsche without even presenting an I.D., yet I buy ANYTHING at Radio Shack and they’re asking me for my name, phone number, address, mother’s maiden name, shoe size…

FUN LIST

WHAT IF EVERY PERSON IN THE BIBLE HAD THEIR OWN THEME SONG?

  • NOAH – Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

  • ADAM AND EVE – Strangers in Paradise

  • SAMSON – Hair

  • DANIEL – The Lion Sleeps Tonight

  • MOSES – The Wanderer

  • JEZEBEL – The Lady is a Tramp

  • LAZARUS – The Second Time Around

  • THE THREE KINGS – When You Wish Upon a Star

  • JONAH – Got a Whale of a Tale

  • JEREMIAH – Take This Job and Shove It

  • JOSHUA – Good Vibrations

  • ESAU – Born To Be Wild

  • METHUSELAH – Stayin’ Alive

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

A dog gets his day in court and wins!

A lawyer has been awarded $100,000 for defending a dog in court. Raymond Dowd was given the award by the trial judge after a three-year long court battle. Robert the dog had been denied a share of a will left by billionaire heiress Doris Duke, for the care of her dogs. Mr. Dowd won the case and was awarded his legal fees by the judge in New York.

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

A Council Bluffs man is recovering from minor injuries after police say he was hit by a car. Officers say the teen driver, 18-year-old Kyleigh Severn, told police she was looking down at her phone when she left the roadway, hitting 36-year-old Ken Hill and a tree just after 10 p.m. Thursday. Police say he’s lucky to have only suffered a concussion and minor scrapes. Hill was treated and released. On Friday, Severn told KETV that she wanted to apologize to Hill in person. “I just wanted to apologize to you in person and know that I am very very sorry,” Severn said after Hill answered the door. “You’re forgiven, you’re forgiven,” he responded.
http://www.ketv.com/article/man-forgives-distracted-teen-driver-who-hit-him/12920048

Emmy Sumpter, a 5th grade student at St. Catherine’s School in Richmond, has been sitting on a secret for 10-months. In January, the 10-year-old girl, won her episode of Chopped Junior. That episode finally aired this week. Sumpter’s filet mignon and chorizo meatball dish earned her a $10,000 prize. Not bad for girl who does not eat meat. Now that she’s back home and able to talk about her big win, Emmy has big plans for her winnings. Emmy plans to take some of the money and use it to help feed the homeless in Richmond.
http://wtvr.com/2017/10/11/emmy-sumpter-chopped-junior/

Officer Jonathan Sanchez was hired by the Palm Beach Gardens police to protect and serve. Delivering babies is just a bonus. Sanchez responded Oct. 7 to a call of a pregnant woman in pain and found Jay Stern, of Belle Glade, on the bathroom floor ready to give birth, the Palm Beach Post reported. It’s likely Sanchez had never encountered a similar scenario. Palm Beach Gardens police said in a statement that Sanchez was recently hired by the department and still has a week left in his training. Riley, a 6-pound, 7-ounce girl, was born at 5:43 a.m.
http://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/trending-now/rookie-florida-cop-comes-to-rescue-of-new-mom/624754742

In Denmark, finding happiness can be as easy as riding a bike. When TODAY correspondent Cynthia McFadden and National Geographic author and explorer Dan Buettner ventured to the Danish city of Copenhagen to find out why it has ranked as one of the happiest places on earth for 40 years, they found a place full of two-wheeled transportation. Half the city gets around via bicycle, and that plays a role in the general good feelings of its citizens. “It’s not a coincidence that people are happy here,” Buettner said on TODAY Monday. “The happiest people in the world are interacting face to face six to seven hours a day. You can’t do that when you’re in a car.”
http://on.today.com/2ihZ4tT

You count Facebook likes. You count calories. You count your steps . . . But do you count your blessings? This November, experience the life-changing power of gratitude through the Revive Our Hearts 30-Day Gratitude Challenge. For 30 days beginning November 1, the organization will send you a short devotional by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth with optional action steps to help you pursue a lifestyle of gratitude.
https://buff.ly/2kTyS9N

SOUL-GLO

(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Alyssa Kapasi had never thought about how school children living next door to her might be going hungry every day – and that is why she is helping to create an app that will ensure every child in America can have access to a full meal.  Instead of parents buying going through an arduous online process to pay for their children’s school lunch meals, the Food For Thought app developed by the 17-year-old high school student lets parents buy meals for their kids, as well as meals for another anonymous hungry student.  Kapasi believes that the app’s simple pay-it-forward model will make parents and individuals more likely to donate a couple bucks towards other hungry kids in their community.  Read more at https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/teen-prodigies-create-app-end-school-lunch-hunger/

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Florida Declares State of Emergency – Because of White Nationalist Speech
(New York Daily News) The University of Florida doesn’t like it, but under threats of a discrimination lawsuit, they’ve agreed to let white nationalist Richard Spencer speak on campus today (Thursday – Oct 19, 2017). Not wanting another Charlottesville, authorities are treating Spencer like an approaching hurricane: Gov. Rick Scott has declared a state of emergency in Alachua County, which includes the Gainesville campus where Spencer will speak. Large protests are expected. In a statement, Scott says that “everyone has the right to voice their opinion,” but “we have zero tolerance for violence, and public safety is always our No. 1 priority.” University officials say they plan to spend $500,000 on security for the Spencer event, his first at a college since a University of Virginia rally the day before the Charlottesville violence. Spencer says his followers won’t start any violence. He says any altercations will be the fault of “nasty, nasty” anti-fascists. University of Florida President Kent Fuchs has emailed the student body to say nobody at the university invited Spencer to speak, and the university is strongly against his “racist speech and white-nationalist values.” Can’t help but think Spencer’s loving all this attention. ***Almost like they’re giving him just what he wants. What if just nobody showed up. No protestors, just a handful of misguided supporters and no media whatsoever. Hmmmm.

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

OCTOBER 13, 2017…

Goodbye Christopher Robin—And who doesn’t love the characters of Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Red Balloon, Donkey, to name a few. This is the true story of how they were created. It seems as though the real author A. A. Milne (Domhnall Gleeson) was in WWI, saw wartime tragedy, came back depressed and with what we would call today PTSD. He was not a father who readily showed emotion. The family moved to a rural location. In order to help himself and reach out to his own son, Christopher Robin, Milne began creating characters from favorite stuffed animals who lived in the Hundred Acre Wood, such as Winnie the Pooh or the donkey. My favorite was the red balloon. You know the rest. The characters become famous through books and other media. All of a sudden—no privacy. Does this help the family, or does fame have a price? Christopher Robin is played by new actor Will Tilston, while the mother is played by Margot Robbie. “Goodbye Christopher Robin” is rated PG. Rating of 3 for fans and give your teddy bears a hug.

Marshall—Chadwick Boseman likes challenges and now he takes on the role of Thurgood Marshall, the Supreme Court Justice. This film follows the career of Marshall from his early days as an attorney and a particular case he works on with another attorney. Also in the cast is Josh Gad. “Marshall” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

The Foreigner—Jackie Chan does the serious role of  a person who migrated to London and then has his daughter die in a terrorist attack there. What to do? Jackie decides to track down those responsible. Others in the cast include Pierce Brosnan and Charles Murphy. “The Foreigner” is rated R. Rating of 2 for Jackie Chan fans.

Breathe—Actor Andy Serkis, famous for his roles in “The Hobbit” film series, now directs his first film. It stars Andrew Garfield (formerly one of the Spider-Man actors) as a man who contracted polio, but also wants to help other people. This is based on the true story of Robin Cavendish. Also in the cast are Hugh Bonneville (“Downton Abbey“) and Claire Foy. “Breathe” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Happy Death Day—What a premise for a movie and just in time for Halloween. The story is about a college student who has to live over-and-over again the day she dies. Sounds like “Groundhog Day,” doesn’t it, but this time she is trying to find her murderer.  The film stars Jessica Rothe, plus Ruby Modine and Israel Broussard.   “Happy Death Day” is rated R. No rating.

OCTOBER 20, 2017…

1922 and the film is about planning a murder. Stars Thomas Jane.

Wonderstruck and an intricate plot fifty years apart. Stars Julianne Moore.

Leatherface and just in time for Halloween. The story behind the man with the chain saw.

Tyler Perry’s Boo 2! A Madea Halloween features Perry as his character Madea, a fan favorite.

The Snowman stars Michael Fassbinder as the fictional Norwegian detective, Harry Hole.

Only The Brave is a film about the Granite Mountain Hotshots, the firefighters who lost many men in the Arizona fire of 2013. Stars Miles Teller.

Geostorm and it had to happen. Those massive hurricanes are caused by something. Gasp.  Stars Gerard Butler.

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Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.