April 06, 2015: Monday ONAIRprep






A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men. — Roald Dahl, (Willy Wonka) “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”


I have to admit yesterday’s program was pretty sad — and I do want to thank the listener who sent the funeral spray. –HaLife




Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? –Matthew 16:24-26


For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. — 2 Corinthians 5:14-15




After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me.” — John 13:21


Thought: I can still remember my friend saying it in church one Sunday: “We think so badly of old Judas for betraying the Lord for 30 pieces of silver, but how many times do we betray him for nothing?” Ouch! What makes this so difficult for us to bear is Jesus’ anguish knowing one of his own would betray him. Let’s make every effort and call upon God’s strength so that such betrayal can never be true of us! And if it ever is, let’s make sure we run toward his grace with an honest desire to escape sin and come back to him!


Prayer: Jesus, I am sorry for the times I have broken your heart with my rebellion and neglect. Father God, I apologize for my lack of passion and zeal for your Son’s sacrifice that saved me from sin and death. I want to live more vibrantly for Jesus so others may see him and come to know him. It is in his precious and holy name I pray. Amen.


The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.




Philippians 4:6 NIV = Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.




(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)


Today is THINK ABOUT SPRING CLEANING DAY. *** Don’t actually do it, just think about it.


Today is NORTH POLE DISCOVERY DAY. On this day in 1909 Robert E. Peary’s cook, carpenter, and blacksmith, Mathew Henson, and two Eskimo guides were the first humans to reach the North Pole. Perry arrived 45 minutes later. We don’t know which two of the four Eskimo guides got there first–Coquesh, Ootah, Eginwah, or Seegloo–which is probably why Peary took all the credit.


Today is DROWSY DRIVER AWARENESS DAY. *** Isn’t that an oxymoron?


Today is NATIONAL JUMP OVER THINGS DAY. *** I don’t really celebrate this one – it takes too much effort. I will, however, jump to conclusions.


Today is NATIONAL CARAMEL POPCORN DAY. *** Okay, so I WILL jump over someone if free caramel popcorn is up for grabs.


Today is CHRISTMAS DAY. Many scholars believe it was on this day in 6 A.D. that Christ was truly born. *** So… Seasons Greetings!




Army Day

New Beers Eve

Drowsy Driver Awareness Day

Dyngus Day

Hostess Twinkie Day

International Day of Sport For Development and Peace

National Student Athlete Day

Charlie the Tune Day

Tartan Day

Tater Day (Sweet Potatoes)

Teflon Day

White House Easter Egg Roll





Day of Remembrance of the Victims o Rwanda Genocide

International Beaver Day

International Snailpapers Day

Metric System Day

National Beer Day

National Sexual Assault Awareness Month’s Day of Action (SAAM)

No Housework Day

World Health Day (UN)

World Health Organization Day



Draw a Bird Day

International Roma Day

National Dog Fighting Awareness Day

Trading Cards For Grown-Ups Day



National Alcohol Screening Day

National Cherish An Antique Day

National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day

Appomattox Day

Jenkins Ear Day

Winston Churchill Day



ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) Day

National Farm Animals Day

National Siblings Day

Salvation Army Founders’ Day

Safety Pin Day



Baby Massage Day

Barbershop Quartet Day

Education and Sharing Day

International “Louie Louie” Day

International Table Top Day

National Pet Day

National Teach Children to Save Day

Slow Art Day

Submarine Day

World Parkinson’s Disease Day



D.E.A.R. Day (aka Drop Everything And Read)

Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day

International Day of Human Space Flight

Global Day to End Child Sexual Abuse

International Day for Street Children

Walk On Your Wild Side Day



Scrabble Day

Thomas Jefferson Day

Undiagnosed Children’s Awareness Day




1868: Brigham married his 27th and last wife. Guess who invented the department store. Yep, Brigham Young. And Brigham’s first store, Zion’s Cooperative Mercantile Institute, is still operating in Salt Lake City. ***With 27 wives he HAD to have his own department store.


1896: The first modern Olympic games formally opened in Athens, Greece.


1931: A little cream-filled sponge cake called the Hostess Twinkie went on sale in the U.S. They were created in order to use shortcake baking pans when strawberries were not in season. (audio clip)


1938: Roy Plunkett invented Teflon. ***MARLAR: If nothing sticks to Teflon, how can they make Teflon stick to the pan?


1954: Swanson & Sons introduced a revolutionary American food product—the TV dinner. ***MARLAR: The stock price of Tums went up drastically that same year.


1958: Arnold Palmer won his first major pro golf tournament, The Masters in Augusta, Georgia.


1968: North America’s most unusual bank opened. The Canadian Bank of Commerce set up shop in a DC-3 to serve outlying areas in the Yukon. ***You’ve heard of drive-in banks, this was a fly-out bank.


1968: The Grand Ole Opry in Nashville canceled its regular Saturday performance because of a city-wide curfew following the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King in Memphis. It’s the only canceled Opry performance.


1973: Baseball’s first ever designated hitter, New York Yankee Ron Blomberg, walked with the bases loaded against Red Sox pitcher Luis Tiant.


1980: Post It Notes were introduced. ***MARLAR: Can you even imagine life without Post-It Notes now? They’re so popular that they even made it to the Mir Space Station before it was shut down. The note said, “Last one out please turn off the lights.”


1982: On New York City’s Wall Street, 44-year-old Jim Priceman found an envelope containing $37-million in negotiable bearer bonds. He immediately returned them to the corporate owner and received a reward of $250. ***MARLAR: Which went directly into his little piggy bank so someday he could own his own monster corporation and be the big important boss that gyps his employees when they do something honorable.


1984: The National Academy of Nannies graduated its first class. ***MARLAR: That was a long time ago – now they’re no longer Nannies… they’re Grannies.


1992: Microsoft introduced Windows version 3.1. The DOS and Apple computer operating systems had serious competition. ***MARLAR: Until Windows VISTA arrived, at which point DOS and Apple felt totally vindicated.


1992: “Barney & Friends” made their TV debut. (audio clip)


1999: Toronto police said that eight out of ten motorists who lost their drivers licenses in court during a ten-day period promptly got into their cars and attempt to drive away. All eight were arrested and had their cars impounded. ***MARLAR: Proving that it’s usually morons that become criminals in the first place.


2000: A private company mapping the human genetic blueprint announced it had decoded all of the DNA pieces that make up the genetic pattern of a single human being.


2003: IRS notified a homeless man in Salem, Oregon, that his $6 million tax bill was a mistake. The 30-year-old, known as the “six million dollar man” by his buddies at the Union Gospel Mission, was told he owed nothing. The IRS refused to comment further on the case.


2004: The University of Connecticut’s women’s basketball team beat Tennessee 70-61 to win a third consecutive NCAA title, a day after UConn also won the men’s championship.


2005: Prince Rainier III of Monaco, one of Europe`s longest-reigning monarchs, died from multiple organ failure at the age of 81. He was succeeded by Prince Albert, one of three children he had with his late wife, American movie star Grace Kelly.




6 BC: This day is believed by some Biblical scholars to be the actual date of the historical birth of Jesus Christ. ***MARLAR: Merry Christmas!!!!!


1249: Muslims take King Louis IX of France prisoner during the seventh crusade, which was supposed to overcome the Muslim political center in Egypt. After showing bravery in the face of torture, he was allowed to buy his freedom for a huge sum in gold—and the city of Damietta.


1528: Albrecht Durer, German painter, engraver, and designer of woodcuts, dies. Famous for his religious scenes, he may have been so influenced by Luther (whom he called “the great Christian man who has helped me out of great anxieties”) that he converted to Protestantism. His most popular work is “Praying Hands.


1735: The first Moravians from Europe arrived in America. Invited by colonial governor James Oglethorpe, ten males of the “Unitas Fratrum” landed in Savannah, Georgia after sailing from England in February.


1801: The General Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church recognizes the new African Methodist Episcopal Church (AME). Blacks who were denied membership and/or recognition within white Methodist churches, particularly in Philadelphia and New York, formed the original AME.


1830: James Augustine Healy, the first black Roman Catholic bishop in America, was born to an Irish planter and a slave on a plantation near Macon, Georgia.


1868: Mormon church leader Brigham Young, 67, married his 27th and last wife. (In all, Brigham Young’s wives bore him 47 children.)


1932: Eric Liddell, the Olympic athlete featured in the film Chariots of Fire, makes his evangelistic debut by sharing his testimony to a group of men in Armadale, Scotland. Liddell later returned to the mission field in China, where he was born, and ministered in an internment camp following the Japanese invasion. He died in 1945 from a massive brain tumor.


1952: American missionary and Auca Indian martyr Jim Elliot wrote in his journal: “Faith makes life so even, gives one such confidence, that the words of men are as wind.”




  • actor (“Reaper”, “Grounded For Life”) Bret Harrison 33 (audio clip)
  • actress (“Full House”) Candace Cameron 39 (audio clip)
  • actor (“Scrubs”) Zach Braff is 40 (audio clip)
  • actor (“The Wonder Years”) Jason Hervey 43 (audio clip)
  • actress (Emma on “Kate & Allie”) Ari Meyers 46 (audio clip)
  • actor (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Knocked Up) Paul Rudd 46
  • actress (“Taxi”) Marilu Henner 63 (audio clip)




(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1916 : “Pappy” Wade Ray

1924 : Dorothy Donegan

1927 : Gerry Mulligan

1929 : Andre Previn

1937 : Merle Haggard

1942 : Christopher Franke (Tangerine Dream)

1944 : John Stax (The Pretty Things)

1944 : Michelle Phillips (The Mamas & The Papas)

1947 : Tony Connor (Hot Chocolate)

1951 : Ralph Cooper (Air Supply) Air Supply




Why do we call people who work off-staff “freelancers?”

The cynics among freelancers will tell you that they are called that because many clients expect them to work practically for free. They are also free to do without employee benefits such as vacations and medical coverage. On the other hand, they do get to set their own hours, write off an espresso and a croissant with a friend as a business expense, and work at home in their underwear. The term originated in the Middle Ages to describe a mercenary knight whose lance was for hire. He was free of any attachment to a particular lord and could be employed on a project-by-project basis–assault a castle, rescue a damsel, the usual stuff. Eventually the term was applied to anyone who was paid by the project or the piece.




Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!


Matthew West says a girl at his concert in Illinois this week made his night. She’s been through a lot but is a survivor. Matthew said she’s also a great t-shirt maker. He shared pictures of her shirt that, on the front, said keep calm and attend a Matthew West concert. On the back it has a list of the concerts she’d attended, all 8 of them, in 2013 and 2014.


Jonny Diaz shared a picture of a four foot tall painting of a cow that is now hanging in his living room. Jonny didn’t give any indication on why he chose to have the multi-colored cow predominantly hung in his house. But he did ask his social media followers to help him come up with the cows name. Some of the suggestions included: holy, Lola, and chick-fil-a. https://t.co/MPxXD3op2K


Crowder is part of the Rock and Worship Road Show but David Crowder says catering may be taking their end of tour pranks a little to far. Crowder shared a picture on Facebook of a Weiner dog in a hot dog bun.


Mercyme’s Bart Millard says the bar has been officially raised. Bart tweeted: can’t stop listening to Live Forever by Matthew West. The newly released song is the title cut from Matthews upcoming CD.


Happy Anniversary to Kevin Max. He announced this week that he was celebrating 10 years of marriage “to the wonderful, beautiful, and indispensable Amanda Max.”


David from the band Hawk Nelson was asking for some help. He said that he just found a $25 iTunes gift card left over from Christmas and needed some suggestions. David asked: What is an album or two that you consider a must have? Or some artist that I should at least check out. I mean, maybe suggest an app or two while you’re at it! HELP……and…..GO!


A one-man effort to get Jamie Grace on TV is underway. A Jamie Grace fan named Jerry Williams is tweeting daily in hopes of getting Jamie Grace cast in the role of Dorothy in the NBC live musical The Wiz and it sounds like Jamie isn’t opposed to the idea. She retweeted his post and asked her social media followers to join in the effort, using the hashtag #JamieGraceIsDorothy.


Kutless member James Mead was dealing with the loss of a piece of his personal history this week. The longtime guitarist for the group shared online that the high school in South Albany, Oregon where he studied band and choir burned to the ground. To make matters worse, media outlets now say officials believe the fire was intentionally set. They say an arrest has already been made in the case.




Not a whopper: Pot-bellied pig creates stir at Burger King
BOSWELL, Pa. (AP) — Did you hear the one about the pot-bellied pig at Burger King? Pennsylvania State Police swear it’s not a whopper. Troopers from the Somerset barracks were called to the restaurant on U.S. Route 30 near Boswell in southwestern Pennsylvania after the pet wandered from its…


Utah man returns 75-pound bag of cash found on highway
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah man got a surprise when he stopped to pull a large orange bag off the highway, fearing that it would become a traffic hazard. HASH(0x1394f00) “I thought it was going to be light. I reached down to grab it, and I couldn’t move it,” Kennedy said. Approximately 4…
Cambodian cinema puts brakes on ‘Furious 7’ competition
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) — A cinema chain in the Cambodian capital has apologized for what it called a “Fast and Furious Competition,” which was criticized for encouraging participants to drive fast and post online photos of their speedometers. Legend Cinemas had launched the competition…
Judge says court battle over giant emerald can proceed
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A Los Angeles judge has ruled a trial can go forward to determine ownership of an emerald weighing 840 pounds that was hauled out of a Brazilian mine more than a decade ago. The 180,000-carat emerald is at the center of a court battle between gem traders, miners, real…
No charges in Snow Kone Joe-Mr. Ding-a-Ling ice cream fight    photo
GLOVERSVILLE, N.Y. (AP) — A judge has dismissed stalking and harassment charges filed against an ice cream truck operator who had been accused of trying to run his rival, Mr. Ding-A-Ling, out of their small New York town. Prosecutors in Fulton County say a judge in Gloversville dismissed the…
Candidate died in 2012, but his name might be on 2015 ballot
LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — Perennial candidate Gatewood Galbraith died in 2012, but that might not stop his name from appearing on the 2015 ballot for Kentucky governor. No, he’s not running from beyond the grave. Terrill Wayne Newman, 68, of Pulaski County legally changed his name on Tuesday to…
British couple win a million in lottery for 2nd time    photo
LONDON (AP) — A couple from northern England has defied the odds — again — by winning a million pounds ($1.5 million) in the lottery for a second time. David and Kathleen Long won the money — and a car — in the EuroMillions Mega Friday Draw, having already scooped up 1…
Tiny songbird tracked across 1,700 miles of open ocean    photo
MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — A tiny songbird that summers in the forests of northern North America has been tracked on a 1,700-mile, over-the-ocean journey from the northeastern United States and eastern Canada to the Caribbean as part of their winter migration to South America, according to a new…
‘Spicy’ scent of a Burger King store entices cologne buyers    photo
TOKYO (AP) — The whiff of a Whopper made hundreds of customers hungry for a Burger King special Wednesday — “Flame Grilled” cologne. Bottles of the fragrance were sold at the fast-food chain’s stores in Japan for 5,000 yen (about $40), including one Whopper burger. At a downtown Tokyo…
‘Miracle dog’ survives being hit by car, clubbed, abandoned    photo
SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — The stray dog was hit by a car, clubbed in the head and left for dead in a ditch in Washington state. Days later, the 1-year-old bully breed mix showed up sickly and covered in dirt at a nearby farm. Now, the dog that defied death is recovering with the help of good…
Man accused of posing as officer to cut into fast-food line
ODESSA, Texas (AP) — A West Texas man has been charged with impersonating an officer by using sirens and flashing lights to skip to the head of the drive-thru line at a fast-food restaurant. Odessa police say Michael Chico was arrested after an off-duty officer spotted a truck with…




Study: NYC health workers’ ethics are compromised in jails    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — New York City jail health workers say their medical ethics are often compromised by the demands of treating patients who are also prisoners, such as when they witness guards’ use of force or are asked to approve stints in solitary confinement, according to a first-of-its-kind…


Pfizer stops China vaccine sales as import license expires
Pfizer has stopped selling its Prevnar 7 pneumonia vaccine in China after its import license expired, but the U.S. drugmaker still intends to launch the world’s most widely used vaccine, Prevnar 13, in that market. The world’s second-biggest drugmaker by revenue said that it stopped sales…
Behind the wheel: 3 of 4 teens drive, fewer in bigger cities
NEW YORK (AP) — A new government study finds about 3 out of 4 older teens are driving, but rates vary widely by state and city. Hawaii had the lowest percentage of teen drivers, at 53 percent. North Dakota and South Dakota had the largest proportions, at about 90 percent. The teen driving…
Imported drug-resistant stomach bug spreading in US    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — A drug-resistant strain of a nasty stomach bug made its way into the U.S. and spread, causing more than 200 illnesses since last May, health officials said Thursday. Many cases were traced to people who had recently traveled to the Dominican Republic, India or other countries….
Study: Some ants have more taste for human food than others    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — It’s not just people who love the food in New York City. So do certain ants. The most common species of ant found on the pavements of New York City and in cities around the world has a taste for human food — more than other ant species found primarily in parks and other…
Too much iced tea caused Arkansas man’s kidney problems    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Doctors traced an Arkansas man’s kidney failure to an unusual cause — his habit of drinking a gallon of iced tea each day. They ruled out several potential causes before stumbling on a reason for the 56-year-old man’s kidney problems. He said he drank about 16 8-ounce…
Senate has new deadline to avoid doctors’ Medicare cuts
WASHINGTON (AP) — Congress will get a little extra time to prevent a threatened 21 percent cut in Medicare payments to doctors. Technically, the cut was to take effect Wednesday. But the Department of Health and Human Services said it will hold off processing claims at the lower rate until…
Texas bill would bar gun ownership status in medical record    photo
DALLAS (AP) — Texas lawmakers are considering a bill that would keep a person’s gun ownership status from being listed in their medical records, a move health providers worry would be an unnecessary government intrusion that harms their consultations with patients. The bill would make Texas…
Liberia, Sierra Leone gain in Ebola crisis; Guinea struggles    photo
DAKAR, Senegal (AP) — When will the world’s largest and longest Ebola outbreak end? The West African nations of Sierra Leone and Liberia both appear to be on a steady path to ending the epidemic — the wild card is Guinea, where Ebola hasn’t burned as hot but remains stubbornly…
Prosecutors seek congressional probe of supplement industry
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — Fourteen attorneys general asked Congress to launch an investigation of the herbal supplements industry and to consider giving the U.S. Food and Drug Administration stronger oversight of the industry, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman announced. “When consumers…
Health providers’ stand could invite other execution methods    photo
SAN DIEGO (AP) — With the American Pharmacists Association taking a stance this week, the medical community is now united in its opposition to playing any role in capital punishment killings. That could make it increasingly difficult for corrections departments to obtain the already scarce…




Join my new Facebook group, download the free app for Apple or Android, subscribe to my YouTube channel, sign up or my newsletter, visit my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and more at www.DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com! [Theme music provided by Turner Broadcast Music Library and 615 Music.]



State police say a man has thrown a “Jesus” vanity license plate at his older brother during a fight in Pennsylvania, cutting him badly enough to require treatment by paramedics.  Forty-five-year-old James Wiles, of Springhill Township, is charged with simple assault and harassment over the argument with his 47-year-old brother on Feb. 24. Police say Wiles’ brother was cut by the plate’s sharp edge.  ***MARLAR: Even worse, because it was a Jesus license plate, he had to turn the other cheek and let his brother throw it at him again.


A restroom at a Wal-Mart in eastern Indiana has been closed indefinitely after an employee discovered a working meth lab inside.  ***MARLAR: Proving Wal-Mart never cleans the bathrooms.


An Indonesian woman claims she’s willing to marry whoever buys her house.  ***MARLAR: Don’t fall for it guys – she’ll likely divorce you and take half the house a month later!


An argument between a 64-year-old man who wanted a Budweiser beer and his 66-year-old friend who handed him a can of Busch instead ended when the disgruntled recipient shot the other man in the arm, wounding him in a New Orleans-area parking lot. The victim’s wounds were not life-threatening.  ***MARLAR: This isn’t the first argument between the two beer drinkers either.  Last year one of them was stabbed during a “tastes great, less filling” debate.




Children exposed to violence in video games and on TV, display similar reactions to those who witness war and acts of violence in real life, according to an Australian study.  ***MARLAR: So if your child has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it could be that they’re watching too much My Little Pony.


Has anyone ever told you how much you and your mate look alike? Chances are it’s because you really do. Researchers from the University of Liverpool, in conjunction with the University of Durham and the University of St. Andrews, have determined that the longer we’re with someone, the more we grow alike in appearance.  ***MARLAR: I’d like to apologize now for the way my wife is eventually going to look.


Did you know taking a break from it all actually benefits your psychological health?  According to Journal Applied Research in Quality of Life studies have shown the largest boost in happiness comes from the simple act of planning a vacation. In the study, the effect of vacation anticipation boosted happiness for eight weeks. ***MARLAR: Did you catch that this is just planning the vacation?  Apparently you don’t actually have to take the vacation in order to be happy, you just have to think about it!  That’s right – the world of inserting memories directly into your brain (a la “TOTAL RECALL”) is actually a great mental health plan.


U.S. astronomers have discovered the heaviest neutron star.  ***MARLAR: The scientific astrological name for it is “Michael Moore.”












OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Gruffy Bear and Sully the Aardvark were about to go head to head in their regular checkers match… and it sounds as if they don’t pull any punches when it comes to playing the game or even trying to intimidate each other before the game begins!


CLOSE: Can’t miss them? I don’t even know what Gruffy is TALKING about! I don’t think I could follow those directions if they were printed out through MapQuest and fed into a GPS system! And who is this new guy… Grizz? We’ll find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!




OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Marvy Snuffelson had just escaped from the hospital in order to avoid getting his tonsils out. Unfortunately, a Razzleflabbin named Clarence has the job of showing Marvy what happened because he didn’t have the surgery! And it’s not pretty.


CLOSE: This story gets more and more grim by the day! Tune in again next time for As the Jungle Turns!


***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.




Waiting at long train crossings can be frustrating, but nothing is dumber than trying “to beat the train” by skirting around the gates…

…Ronald Wolf of Walbridge, Ohio, knew this, but thought he had a better idea. After waiting 20 minutes to cross a railroad track because two slow-moving trains had come in succession Wolf realized he’d have to wait some more because another slow moving train was coming. He was frustrated and didn’t want to wait any longer. His idea? Drive onto the tracks and make the third train stop so he could continue on his way. So Wolf weaved his way through the first set of gates and parked his car on the track, stood back, and waited for the train to stop. The train stopped — just after it pushed his car down the tracks a few feet! Thankfully, no one was injured. Ronald was charged with failing to yield.






  1. I’ve learned that girls sweat just as much as boys. — age 11


  1. I’ve learned that it always makes me feel good to see my parents holding hands. — age 13


  1. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t confuse a black crayon with a Tootsie Roll. — age 10


  1. I’ve learned that I would like to be a horse and live on a ranch, if only cowboys didn’t wear spurs. —age 8


  1. I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night”. — age 7


  1. I’ve learned that milk helps keep your bones from bending over. —age 7


  1. I’ve learned that the teacher always calls on me the time I don’t know the answer. — age 9


  1. I’ve learned how to hold animals without killing them.— age 5


  1. I’ve learned that when you have three of your wild friends in the car the driver freaks. — age 9


  1. I’ve learned that sometimes my mother laughs so hard that she snorts. —age 7




Drinking and driving is dumb.  So is playing with matches.


FILE #1: Police in upstate New York accuse student Christopher Chianese of going through a lot of trouble to avoid a DWI court date. Now he’s in a lot more trouble. He’s charged with torching the new municipal offices in Seneca Falls that housed the court. He allegedly set fire to the building just hours before he was to answer a felony charge of driving while intoxicated. Now he faces a charge of third-degree arson and was ordered held on 200-thousand dollars cash bail. If convicted, he could get up to 15 years in prison.


FILE #2: Imagine cruising down the road and looking over to see a real live cow in someone’s back seat! It happened recently in Russia and 4 men have been arrested and charged with stealing a pregnant cow and escaping with it squeezed into their car. Police picked up the men after the 660 pound cow had traveled 37 miles in the car with her head sticking out of the window.


FILE #3: Joe Cary, who had his door shot in the middle of the day. Joe called the police, but the shooter vanished before they arrived.  When the police showed up, Joe stood outside his door… with a gun of his own.  Now, you’d think that these police officer’s would appreciate an upstanding citizen defending himself… with a gun… being waved around with one hand… while holding a bottle of vodka in the other.  Guess who was arrested?  I think I’ve seen this episode of Cops.


STRANGE LAW: In Utah, it’s against the law to fish from horseback.




A man in Los Angeles has very unusual excuse for his erratic driving.

Randall Richman says he wasn’t drinking alcohol, he had consumed lighter fluid. He was pulled over for speeding and for driving without his headlights on. The police reported that the man’s breath smelled of “an odor of an unknown alcoholic beverage.” The 32-year-old magician claims that it wasn’t liquor that was detected; it was three types of lighter fluid. Richman says he had just taught a fire-eating class in Hollywood when he was pulled over by police. The defense has worked before. In 1991, a San Francisco jury acquitted professional fire-eater Ted Maschal on similar charges.




What’s the fastest turnaround time — from meeting to getting married — that you know about?




QUESTION: Just before the children of Israel were about to enter the Promised Land the priests stood at the Jordan River and dipped their feet into it. What happened next?
ANSWER: The water stopped and they crossed on dry ground (Joshua 3:15-17)




QUESTION: Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ‘dw’ and they are all common words.  What are those words?

ANSWER: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle



Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

  1. In 1902 the game table tennis was brought to the U.S. from Europe by Mattell. (False – Parker Brothers)


  1. In a day, an elephant can drink 800 gallons of water. (False – 80 gallons)


  1. The most disliked vegetable by Americans is brussels sprouts. (True)


  1. When former Texas Governor James Hogg was on his deathbed he made a special request that an apple tree tree be planted at the head of his grave instead of a tombstone. (False – he wanted a pecan tree. The governor passed away on March 2, 1906, which is Texas Independence Day. The pecan tree is now the state tree of Texas.)


  1. Watermelons are considered a good gift to give a host in Japan and China. (True)


  1. On average, falling asleep while driving results in an average of 55 accidents per day in the United States. (False – 550 accidents per day!)


  1. Chocolate was used as medicine during the 18th century. (True. It was believed that chocolate could cure a stomach ache.)


  1. McDonald’s Restaurant uses 7% of the potatoes grown in the United States to make their french fries. (True)


  1. The Cantaloupe was first cultivated in Cantaloupo, Italy and that is how it got its name. (True)


  1. ChapStick Lip Balm can be applied to skin to stop bleeding caused by shaving. (True)




You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


It’s a fast-moving eruption that is sending a large amount of radiation toward Earth.

The solar flare occurred at about 11 p.m. EST Saturday and will hit Earth with three different effects at three different times. The biggest issue is radiation, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Space Weather Prediction Center in Colorado.

The radiation is a concern for massive satellite disruptions and astronauts in space. It can cause communication problems for polar-traveling airplanes, said space weather center physicist Darvin Zillman.

Radiation from Saturday’s flare arrived at Earth an hour later and will likely continue through Wednesday. Levels are considered extreme. .

The radiation – in the form of protons – came flying out of the sun at 193 million miles per hour.

“The whole volume of space between here and Jupiter is just filled with protons and you just don’t get rid of them like that,” Zillman said. That’s why the effects will stick around for weeks.

NASA’s flight surgeons and solar experts examined the solar flare’s expected effects and decided that the six astronauts on the International Space Station do not have to do anything to protect themselves from the radiation, spokesman Rob Natinas said.





The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.
“Please,” protested the college President, “you already make more than the entire History department.”
“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” the coach blustered. “Look.” He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. “Run over to my office and see if I’m there,” he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
“You’re not there, Coach,” he reported.
“Oh, I see what you mean,” conceded the President, scratching his head. “I would have phoned.”



Tim and Dianne were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswinds. At the tollbooth, Tim asked the attendant, “What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?”

The tollbooth attendant didn’t miss a beat. She answered, “We take the rocks out of our pockets.”



One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. 
”No problem,” I told him. “Make it up the following week.”

That week came, and again he couldn’t take the test due to another funeral. 
”You’ll have to take the test early next week,” I insisted. “I can’t keep postponing it.”

“I’ll take the test next week if no one dies,” he told me.

By now I was suspicious. “How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?” I asked.

“I don’t know any of these people,” he said. “But I’m the only gravedigger in town.”




In England, a chicken named Lucky — because he helped his owner pick out winning lottery numbers — got eaten by a fox when the owner forgot to lock the coop. Lucky would pick the numbers by pecking on a calculator and won almost $2,500 on his first try. ***MARLAR: So Lucky wasn’t all that lucky, was he?


According to a new study, small doses of chocolate every day could decrease your risk of having a heart attack or stroke by nearly 40 percent.  ***MARLAR: I eat at least five times that much – I must be healthy as a horse!





I was out walking with my then 3 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.
“Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.”
At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?”
“Uh,” I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, “Um, it’s on the mommy test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a mommy.”
“Oh.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
I get it!” she beamed. “Then if you flunk, you have to be the daddy.”





Ever wonder how many injuries a year are caused by bathroom hand dryers? Neither have I.

Every year a little over 1000 people in America are injured by automatic bathroom hand dryers. Apparently the injuries occur when the machines malfunction and people have their hands or other body parts sucked into the device. You should know there’s never been an injury reported with machines made in the U-S. ***MARLAR: So stay away from those sporty imports!





A Christian once visited a farmer to talk to him about Christ. “I wouldn’t come to church up there.” the farmer said. “I know old so and so church goer who claims to be a Christian and So and So who attends church there who claims to be a Christian and they don’t live any differently from me. I’m as good as they are.”

Everywhere the farmer went he told about the hypocrites in that Church. Months passed and the Christian brother went to see the farmer again.

“I want to buy a hog”, said the Christian. The farmer showed all his best hogs to him. Then they came to the runt. “I believe I will take that one” the, Christian said. BUT you don’t want that one. He’s the worst runt to the litter.

“I sure do” said the Christian. So they loaded the runt in the truck. “Now,” said the Christian “what if I take this pig here from your farm and ride all over this area telling folks that this is the kind of hogs you raise?”

“That’s not fair!” the farmer exclaimed. “I have some nice hogs and you want to show people that runt?!”

To which the Christian replied, “If it’s fair for the church it’s fair for the hogs!”





I was driving in heavy traffic on 285, the perimeter road in Atlanta, cars moving at a fast rate of speed on all six lanes. I was in the far left lane when I realized my exit was just one away, and I needed to cross over many lanes to exit the freeway. My daughter was in the back seat and I asked her to look out the back window, telling me when I could move over, lane by lane.

She gave me specific directions – “O.K., mom” or, “after this red car,” or, “not now !” I listened to her with complete confidence that she knew what she was talking about and I never turned my own head to make sure she was correct. I followed her directions and made it to the exit lane with plenty of time to spare.
Oh that I would listen to God that way. He does tell me how to maneuver from one lane of life to another, and He is always ready, willing and able to give me those directions. I need to listen to Him and follow those directions, not turning my head and using my own eyes to plot my course. If I do this, I will make it safely to the other side of the road of life.
–Marion Smith.





What would you do if you found your neighbor was having lunch with your pet – and your pet was the main course!
A Deming, New Mexico woman was recently at a loss when she drove into her driveway and realized that her pet pig was missing! So, like any good pet pig owner, she went looking for it with her 3-year-old son. After searching for hours, Sadie Emerson spotted a group of people having a party near their mobile home, and on the table – you guessed it – was her pet potbellied pig named “Tiny Boo”. Apparently the neighbor shot the pig with a rifle “after the animal tried to attack him” and then decided to make use of the dead pig by having a neighborhood pork barbecue. The good neighbor has been accused of cruelty to animals and will appear in court. ***MARLAR: If this is cruelty to animals, Oscar Meyer is in big trouble.





Do you snoop when you use another person’s bathroom… want to know how many people do?

If there’s something in your medicine cabinet you don’t want anyone to see, you better hide it somewhere. A survey of Americans shows that 39-percent admit they snoop when they visit someone else’s bathroom. What’s more, 25-percent admit they USE the items they find, like make-up, combs, and lip gloss. ***MARLAR: Something to think about next time you use your toothbrush!





Get lost easily? Just be glad you’re not a police officer!

If you ever get lost in Philadelphia, do not ask police officer Margo Grady for directions. The four-year veteran was trying to get to the police Special Victim’s Unit in Bridesburg, Pennsylvania. She instead ended up in Newark, New Jersey — 85 miles away from her intended destination! Police said Grady missed an exit and just kept driving. And driving. When she didn’t make it to her intended destination, police became concerned, especially when they tried to reach her by radio (she was out of radio range) and got no answer. They eventually sent out people looking for her and even employed helicopters for the search before they finally tracked her down. All told, her little tour took about four hours! ***MARLAR: I could understand this story if it were a male police officer – but this is a woman. Since when do THEY not stop and ask for directions?




TWO FACES OF DOCTORS: What they say versus what they’re really thinking.


  1. “This should be taken care of right away.” — I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.


  1. “Welllllll, what have we here…?” — He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.


  1. “Let me check your medical history.” — I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.


  1. “We have some good news and some bad news.” — The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.


  1. “Let’s see how it develops.” — Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.


  1. “Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week.” — I’m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time. –I need the bucks, so I’m charging you for another office visit.


  1. “Let me schedule you for some tests.” — I have a forty percent interest in the lab.


  1. “I’d like to prescribe a new drug.” — I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.


  1. “If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.” — I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.


  1. “Everything seems to be normal.” — Rats! I guess I can’t buy that new beach condo after all.




UPDATED EVERY WEDNESDAY (using Monday’s post). The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago. Posted as new entries become available.


Pilot Out of Control

Who among us has not been shocked by the dramatic and devastating act of a German pilot this past week? We are now assured that Andreas Lubitz deliberately brought about the deaths of 150 people aboard the crashed Germanwings flight in France. The pilot had left the cabin for a few minutes and found the door locked upon his return. The rest of the details only leave us with an imagined horror of what took some eight minutes to finish.
We are gradually finding out quite a bit about this Andreas. Apparently he suffered from depression. It was debilitating enough for the 27-year-old to receive treatment. We are aware he had a “sick pass” so he would not need to fly the day of the crash. We know there are reports of vision problems—whether real or psychosomatic.
But standing out about these to me were the comments he purportedly made to a former girlfriend. In her words, he once said he was “planning a heinous act that will be remembered forever.” The woman, dubbed “Maria W,” expanded on this saying, “[He said], ‘One day I will do something that will change the whole system, and then all will know my name and remember it.’ I never knew what he meant, but now it makes sense.”
Lubitz learned to fly gliders at the age of 14. The New York Times reports that Klaus Radke, the president of the glider club, said “When I saw him as an adult compared to a youth, I thought, ‘He really amounted to something.’ He was confident, helpful. I thought, ‘Man, he’s someone who made it.’”
But his adult behavior was not so pleasant to Maria W. She said, “We spoke a lot about work and then he became another person. He became agitated about the circumstances in which he had to work, too little money, anxiety about his contract and too much pressure. During conversations he’d suddenly throw a tantrum and scream at me. I was afraid. He even once locked me in the bathroom for a long time.”
It is impossible to know how much his mental state led Andreas to commit his “heinous act.” What seems apparent, however, is that he was stable enough to make statements about wanting fame. He was rational enough to fly airplanes and function well with associates. And, at times, he apparently sought help. But not enough.
Thus, two very common attributes of human behavior left out of control come into focus: pride and selfishness. These forces, perhaps enhanced by a spiritual battle of which Lubitz was unaware, kept him from two important decisions. The first was to seek more help. The second, was to avoid the totally self focused act of taking the lives of 149 other souls to satisfy his longing to be remembered.
I’ve read nothing that would indicate he had a spiritual life. When the moral constraints of an individual rely solely on one’s own value system, why should we be surprised at such acts? Unless we are willing to be guided by the wisdom, understanding, and discernment that comes from our Creator, we operate on a different moral plane. So to speak.
Proverbs 16:18 (ESV) warns: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” And as for being remembered, Psalm 34:16 (ESV) states: “The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.”
May God help those families being tortured by the tragic ending of their loved ones. May God give comfort to the parents and family members of Andreas Lubitz, who also will be tortured by the memory of this terrible act. And may all of us remember that we are capable of acts much worse, were it not for the moral restraints offered us by a loving God.
The Lord is my Light. And my Salvation. Amen.
That’s The Way WE Work.




Does being a perfectionist mean you’ll also have perfect health? Probably not. In fact, just the opposite is more likely the case.

Perfectionists, by definition, strive for the best, trying to ace exams, be meticulous at their jobs, and raise perfect children, you might assume this translates over to their health as well, with perfectionist being models for physical and mental well-being. While perfection is an impossible goal, striving for it can be a boon for one’s health, causing one to stick to exercise programs to a tee, say, or follow a strict regimen for treating chronic illnesses like type 2 diabetes. But the same lofty goals can mean added mental pressure when mistakes are made and the resistance to asking for help from others in fear of revealing one’s true, imperfect self.  In fact studies show the personality trait of perfectionism is linked to poor physical health and an increased risk of death.




Posted as stories become available. No stories posted on the weekends.

You gotta love technology.  Pioneers USA is using the media to reach into Muslim countries without putting their staff at risk. According to Mission Network News, Pioneers has identified four groups of people. They include victims of war, women at risk, persecuted communities, and those seeking the truth about God in Muslim countries. By using various forms of media on the internet, Pioneers is bypassing barriers that prevent people from hearing about Christ. Pioneers is using Google Ad Words to get the resources in sight of those who need them. They then follow up with a variety of videos, forums and chat rooms, short films on relevant topics, articles, and Bible studies. http://ow.ly/EWEKp


A Chinese businessman is giving back. The businessman told the Daily Mail that he and his family had always been well looked after and supported by the residents in his childhood neighborhood. So recently the 54 year old, who ended up making millions in the steel industry, decided to return the favor. He bulldozed all the wooden huts and muddy roads where he grew up and built free homes for the people who live there. But then he took it a step further. He promised three meals a day to the older residents and people on low income to make sure they could get by. The businessman said: I earned more money than I knew what to do with, and I didn’t want to forget my roots. Now 90 families are enjoying new homes thanks to his generosity.



Dr. James Dobson is out with another free pdf download but this one might take more than one booklet. Dr. Dobson says: the beginning of good parenting is knowing what makes your particular child tick. This report will inform, encourage and inspire you to be the best parent possible to your kind of kid. Access the free download at http://t.co/4Z9bOpKisQ.




If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they will stop making it.


I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.


I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.


Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.


I went for a walk last night and my wife asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, “The whole time.”


My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.


Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.


I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.


I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, “Why’d you run that stop sign?” I said, “Because I don’t believe everything I read.”


The other day, I went to a tourist information booth and asked, “Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.”


“I’d rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not.” –Lucille Ball


Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.


My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.


When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.


If I had some ham, I could have some ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.


No, officer. I do not wish to give up my right to remain silent!!


I love cats. They taste like chicken.




Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).


APRIL 01, 2015…


Hillsong: Let Hope Rise (opening in select cities)—a documentary from the Hillsong Churches of Australia/New Zealand and follows a tour of the Hillsong United singing group.  Film is directed by Michael John Warren. Hill Song (the church) has over 12 locations in Australia/New Zealand. “Hillsong: Let Hope Rise: is not rated. No rating.


**Note: “Woman in Gold” starring Helen Mirren as a woman trying to retrieve a lost painting is now due to open April 10.


APRIL 03, 2015…


Furious 7—This film will be remembered as the last movie for the late actor, Paul Walker. His brothers are stand-in’s in some scenes as Walker had finished most of his work before his tragic accident. Basically the story has Jason Stratham as the villain out for revenge for the death of his brother a film ago. The fan favorites are back with Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson and Jordana Brewster. Plenty of action here and one hopes the series can continue. It has a built-in audience. “Furious 7” is rated PG 13. Rated 3 for fans.


Effie Gray (opening in select cities)—Dakota Fanning stars in this film in which she plays Effie, the wife of 19th century British painter, John Ruskin (Greg West.)  Problems in the marriage and Effie doesn’t know what to do. Also in the cast is Tom Sturridge as the painter John Everett Mellais. “Effie Gray” is rated R. No rating.


APRIL 10, 2015…


Desert Dancer (opening in select cities) is a Middle East film about a young man and his friends who want to learn to dance but the government forbids it.


The Hunting Ground is a documentary that concerns the subject of rape on a college camp. Directed by Amy Ziering.


Merchants of Doubt, a documentary by Robert Kenner that shows what goes on behind presenting the news. It sometimes is like a stage show.


While We’re Young stars Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts as a middle-age couple who meet a younger couple, become friends, and then take a look at their own lives.


The Longest Ride is adapted from the Nicholas Sparks novel about a bull-rider and artist who fall in love. Stars Scott Eastwood and Britt Robertson.


# # # # #



WARNING:  Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.