August 15, 2015: Saturday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150815

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

It’s a special STAR WARS edition of (THE JOCK SHOW)! Why? Because… well… because I’m a complete geek and need an excuse to play the disco version of the Star Wars theme song. (

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BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him.” –Matthew 3:16

 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 = All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

 

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” — Revelation 3:14 and 20

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. — John 10:11

 

Thought: How do we determine who we will follow? How can we tell the religious predators, shysters, and charlatans from those who truly speak for God? Jesus comes and shows us the ultimate test; will the Shepherd lay down his life for them?

 

Prayer: Thank you, Lord God, for sending Jesus to be my Shepherd. I praise you for his faith, his courage, and his conviction that led him to not only lay down his life for me, but for everyone in the world. I praise you, Lord Jesus, for your sacrificial love and perfect sacrifice. To “him who sits on the throne” and to “the lamb that was slain,” I offer up my deepest appreciation and loving praise for your grace and mercy! In the name of the only Savior of the world, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Romans 8:15 NIV = For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

 

 

TODAY IS SATURDAY – AUGUST 15, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 133 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.  

 

Today is BEST FRIEND’S DAY, a day to do something fun with your best friend.  ***MARLAR: It’s not like you’d get together with your best friend just for the heck of it now, would you?

 

NATIONAL FAILURES DAY. ***MARLAR: They have yet to organize a successful celebration.

 

Today is NATIONAL RELAXATION DAY, an excuse for every overworked, underpaid person to do what they’d rather be doing.  ***MARLAR: Like hangin’ with their best friend.

 

Some tips on how to relax:

  • Find a quiet place, and lie down or sit comfortably.
  • Tense muscles in one hand, then relax them. Do the same with the rest of that side of your body, tensing and then relaxing each part separately: Forearm, upper arm, shoulder, foot, calf, thigh. Repeat this on the other side of the body starting again with the hand.
  • Loosen your hip muscles and let a wave of relaxation pass up from your abdomen to your chest.
  • Now let the wave of relaxation continue into your shoulders, neck, jaws and the muscles of your face.
  • Finish the drill by imagining your forehead growing cool — as though you’re telling it to chill.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Best Friends Day

Chauvin Day

Check The Chip Day

International Geocaching Day

International Homeless Animals Day

National Relaxation Day

World Honey Bee Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16

Joe Miller’s Joke Day

National Airborne Day

National Rollercoaster Day

 

MONDAY, AUGUST 17

Black Cat Appreciation Day

Cupcake Day

Meaning of “Is” Day

National Thrift Shop Day

 

TUESDAY, AUGUST 18

Bad Poetry Day

Birth Control Pills Day

Mail Order Catalog Day

Serendipity Day

 

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19

Aviation Day

“Black Cow” Root Beer Float Day

National Medical Dosimetrist Day

World Humanitarian Day

 

THURSDAY, AUGUST 20

Earth Over Shoot Day (Ecological Debt Day)

National Radio Day

 

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21

Men’s Grooming Day

National Spumoni Day

Poet’s Day

Senior Citizen’s Day

 

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22

Be An Angel Day

International Tongue Twister Day

Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day

Take Your Cat To The Vet Day

 

SUNDAY, AUGUST 23

Day For The Remembrance of The Slave Trade & Its Abolition

Go Topless Day

Valentino Day

 

MONDAY, AUGUST 24

Knife Day

Pluto Demoted Day

Vesuvius Day

Wayzgoose Day

William Wilberforce Day

National Waffle Iron Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1911: Procter & Gamble of Cincinnati introduced Crisco hydrogenated shortening.

 

1935: Humorist Will Rogers and aviator Wiley Post died when their airplane crashed near Point Barrow, Alaska.

 

1939: The film Wizard of Oz premiered at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood. (

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1958: After meeting only two weeks earlier, Buddy Holly and Maria Elena Santiago were married in Lubbock, Texas.

 

1969: The Woodstock Music and Art Fair opened in a field near Bethel, New York. Almost 400,000 rock fans heard Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, Joe Cocker, Santana, the Grateful Dead, the Who, Creedance Clearwater Revival, and Sly and the Family Stone. Two children were born during the 3-day festival; three people died.

 

1970: During a semi-pro game in Orlando, Patricia Palinkas became the first woman to be paid for playing football.

 

1977: 8-year-old Rebecca Chase sank a hole-in-one on the 125-yard par-3 fifth hole at Oak Knoll golf course in The Dalles, Oregon. It was the first hole she ever played.

 

1981: Lionel Richie and Diana Ross hit #1 in the U.S. with “Endless Love.” It stayed on top for nine weeks.

 

1999: The Indian army posthumously honored Yogender Yadav with the nation’s highest award for gallantry. His wife called the next day to tell them that Yadav was still alive and recovering from combat injuries.

 

1999: Tiger Woods won the PGA Championship, the youngest player to win two majors since Seve Ballesteros.

 

2002: Authorities in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, charged a 30-year-old man for public drunkenness after the slowest police chase on record. The man was cruising down the street at 3 miles an hour on a child’s Fisher Price Power Wheels car.

 

2002: The Centers for Disease Control confirmed the U.S. was experiencing its worst outbreak of mosquito-borne West Nile virus since the virus first appeared in the nation in 1999.

 

2004: In Athens, the U.S. men’s basketball team lost 92-73 to Puerto Rico, only the third Olympic defeat ever for the Americans and the first since adding pro players.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1096: The First Crusade sets out from Europe to rescue Jerusalem from the Muslim Turks.

 

1195: Anthony of Padua is born in Lisbon, Portugal. The most popular and effective preacher of his day (he had studied under Francis of Assisi), attracting crowds of up to 30,000, Anthony earned the title “hammer of the heretics” for converting so many of the dualistic Cathari. “He is truly the Ark of the Covenant and the treasury of Holy Scripture,” said Pope Gregory, who added that if all the Bibles of the world were lost, Anthony could surely rewrite them.

 

1456: The Gutenberg Bible, the first book printed from a movable type, was dated by hand. Printed by the German Johann Gutenberg, its exact date of publication is unknown. Gutenberg probably printed about 180 copies, of which 20 complete copies are extant. The Gutenberg Bible is the oldest surviving printed book in Europe.

 

1534: Ignatius of Loyola founds “the company of Jesus,” which he described as similar to a group of fur traders, only focused on God’s will. In 1540 they gained the approval of the pope, who named them the Society of Jesus. The vision and disciplines of the “Jesuits,” as they came to be called, caught the imagination of Europe. Soon Jesuits flocked to Europe’s major cities as well as the new world: Gao, Mexico City, Quebec, Buenos Aires, and Bogota. They opened hospices for the dying, sought financial support for the poor, founded orphanages, and opened schools.

 

1549: Spanish Jesuits led by Francis Xavier become the first Christian missionaries in Japan. Xavier went to Japan hoping to eventually reach China. He figured once he evangelized China, Japan’s conversion would be much easier because, he believed, Japan looked to China for wisdom.

 

1846: Addressing rumors that he mocked Christianity, Abraham Lincoln publishes a broadside on his religion: “That I am not a member of any Christian Church, is true; but I have never denied the truth of the Scriptures; and I have never spoken with intentional disrespect of religion in general, or of any denomination of Christians in particular . . . ”

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • Actress (The Whole Nine Yards) Natasha Henstridge, 41
  • Actor/director (Daredevil, The Sum of All Fears, Changing Lanes, Batman Vs Superman) Ben Affleck, 43
  • Actress (“Will & Grace”) Debra Messing, 47 (
    )
  • Actor (the son Ritchie on “The Dick Van Dyke Show”) Larry Mathews, 60 (
    )
  • Actress (Tender Mercies) Tess Harper, 65
  • Actress (Sally on “The Dick Van Dyke Show”) Rose Marie, 90 (
    )

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1896 : Leon Theremin

1909 : Hugo Winterhalter

1925 : Oscar Peterson

1925 : Bill Pinkney (The Drifters)

1930 : Jackie Brenston

1933 : Bobby Helms

1933 : Floyd Ashman (The Tams)

1941 : Johnny Thunder

1941 : Don Rich

1942 : Peter York (The Spencer Davis Group)

1946 : Jimmy Webb

1948 : Tom Johnston (The Doobie Brothers)

1951 : Bobby Caldwell

1972 : Michael Graham (Boyzone)

1989 : Joe Jonas (The Jonas Brothers)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Is it true that the movie Star Wars almost didn’t make it off the ground?

In July 1973, George Lucas was an unknown director working on a low-budget 1950s nostalgia film called American Graffiti. He approached Universal Studios to see if they were interested in a film idea he called Star Wars. Universal turned him down.

It was the biggest mistake the studio ever made.

Six months later, Lucas was the hottest director in Hollywood. American Graffiti, which cost $750,000 to make, was a smash. It went on to earn more than $117 million, making it the most profitable film in Hollywood history – even today.

While Universal was stonewalling Lucas, an executive at 20th Century Fox, Alan Ladd, Jr., watched a smuggled print of American Graffiti before it premiered and loved it. He was so determined to work with Lucas that he agreed to finance the director’s new science fiction film.

Star Wars opened on May 25, 1977, and by the end of August it had grossed $100 million – faster than any other film in history. By 1983 the film had made over $524 million in ticket sales worldwide – making it one of the 10 highest grossing films in history. [note: this article was written in 1993; Star Wars is currently the 24th highest-grossing films]

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Danny Gokey found out this week that the best plans can go wrong very quickly. He presented his wife with a picture this week and she loved it, at least until Danny pointed out how much thinner she was in the picture then after the birth of their two children. In retrospect, Danny posted: I started out great by giving my wife a gift and then I put my big ole foot in my mouth.

 

Francesca Battistelli has something in common with Kari Jobe and Jodi of Love and the outcome; she is also pregnant. Francesca tweeted this week: there must be something in the water. Goodwin Baby #3 due in March.

 

Mercyme’s Mike Scheuchzer was at a Ted Cruz Presidential rally this week. He tweeted: Hot in here. Must be trying to let us know what socialism will feel like.

 

Building 429 member Aaron Branch says his wife Tara is struggling with having a daughter who is going into middle school. She recently told Aaron: I hope you are prepared to have a daughter in middle school this year because I’m not! We need to have all the boys afraid of you!

 

Jenny Simmons says she will be seeing a lot of Texas this fall. She shared her itinerary online this week and it goes something like this: Missouri. Texas. Seattle. Texas. Florida. Texas. Las Vegas. Texas. However, Jenny doesn’t seem to mind. She went on to say: I couldn’t be more happy to back in my home state so many times.

 

Kutless member James Mead is going off grid. He tweeted this week: I’m in Alaska, and I’ll be here for the next ten days in a remote location for a family vacation. I won’t be tweeting.

 

Building 429’s Jesse Garcia travels a lot but this week he was having and even harder time than normal dealing with the TSA inspectors. Following the inspection Jesse tweeted: I feel like Andy Dufrain from Shawshank Redemption, at the end of tunnel escape scene, after today’s TSA fiasco.

 

Sara Groves was cheering on her son this week. She has been spending every spare minute on her new album so, when Toby expressed a desire for calzones for dinner, Sara says she had to turn him down. However, Toby didn’t sulk. Instead he got out the ingredients himself and created his own calzone for he and the rest of the family to enjoy together that evening.

 

Comedian Bob Smiley is passing along a suggestion from one of his fans. The fan suggested that Bob Smiley go on tour with Big Daddy Weave and they call it the Bob and Weave tour. Bob Smiley responded: “Brilliant!”

 

Moriah Peters is out with a list of five summer beauty tips from her team. They include:

  1. SPF – all day every day
  2. LIPS – Velvet Teddy by MAC
  3. PITS – Keep the B.O. away with burts bees sage deodorant spray
  4. HURR – anti humidity spray for those sweaty days?
  5. WHITE – my favorite color and it reflects the sun rays

 

 

WEIRD & WACKY

Disgruntled man can’t pay parking fine with rolls of pennies
CHAMBERSBURG, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania borough is putting the brakes on a disgruntled handyman’s attempt at paying his $25 parking fine with 50 rolls of pennies. Chambersburg officials told Justin Greene his passive-aggressive payment of 2,500 pennies wasn’t allowed under a federal rule…

 

Police officers rescue groundhog with head stuck in tin can
BETHLEHEM, Pa. (AP) — One lucky groundhog might live to see another Groundhog Day thanks to authorities in eastern Pennsylvania. The creature roaming Lehigh University wasn’t able to see its own shadow — or much of anything — because its head was stuck in a tin can. Campus police…
Teen finds gold bar while swimming in German Alpine lake    photo
BERLIN (AP) — A teenager has made an unexpected find while swimming in a lake in the German Alps: a 500-gram (17.6-ounce) bar of gold. Police said Wednesday that they are still trying to figure out where the bar comes from and how it got into the Koenigssee lake, a popular tourist destination…
Odd suckers: Octopus species that’s weirdly social, romantic    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The octopus already is an oddball of the ocean. Now biologists have rediscovered a species of that eight-arm sea creature that’s even stranger and shares some of our social and mating habits. With their shifting shapes, mesmerizing eyes, and uncanny intelligence, octopuses…
Cat video festival draws 13,000 to St. Paul baseball stadium
ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) — St. Paul’s mayor threw out a ceremonial ball of yarn to mark the opening of an annual festival for cat videos that drew thousands of feline fanatics to a city stadium. Mayor Chris Coleman said 13,000 people were at CHS Field on Wednesday night for the fourth Internet…
Feds: Blood lab bribed doctor with Justin Bieber tickets
NEWARK, N.J. (AP) — Federal prosecutors have charged a New York doctor with accepting cash bribes and tickets to Justin Bieber and Katy Perry concerts from a New Jersey blood lab. Fifty-year-old Bret Ostrager was indicted in federal court Tuesday on charges of violating anti-kickback laws and…
Neighbors sue to stop Seattle family’s bird feeding
SEATTLE (AP) — A couple in Seattle whose 8-year-old daughter feeds crows and pigeons is being sued by neighbors who say the birds have damaged their property. HASH(0x1400830) Anna Johnsen, the attorney representing two neighbors who are suing the Manns, says the residential neighborhood is…
Iowa officer: ‘Happily obliged’ suspect’s selfie request
IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) — An Iowa City police officer has said he “happily obliged” a motorist who asked to take a selfie with him after the man acknowledged that he’d smoked marijuana before driving. Twenty-year-old Gilbert Phelps of Iowa City was arrested last week after being pulled over for…
Woman takes limo to shoplift in Minnesota mall
ROCHESTER, Minn. (AP) — Police say a 22-year-old woman accused of shoplifting arrived in style at a mall in southeastern Minnesota. Authorities say a limousine driver who took the woman to the Apache Mall in Rochester on Monday helped police to find her. HASH(0x140fda0) As police searched the…
Macedonia: Mother’s love behind abduction of baby baboon
SKOPJE, Macedonia (AP) — The mystery of a baby baboon abducted from Skopje’s zoo had a bittersweet resolution: A mother says she stole it as a gift for her deaf son. The 26-year-old woman told Dnevnik newspaper took that she lifted Luka, an 18-month-old crowd favorite, as a belated birthday…
Wallenda completes his longest tightrope walk in Wisconsin    photo
WEST ALLIS, Wis. (AP) — High-wire daredevil Nik Wallenda has completed his longest tightrope walk ever during an appearance at the Wisconsin State Fair. TV station WTMJ reports Wallenda on Tuesday evening crossed the 1,576-foot wire that was strung more than 10 stories above the Milwaukee…

 

 

 

HEALTH & FITNESS

Hold it! San Francisco uses paint to fight public urination    photo
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Public urination has gotten so bad in San Francisco that the city has painted nine walls with a repellant paint that makes pee spray back on the offender. It’s the latest effort to address a chronic problem in a city where the public works director calls himself Mr….

 

Doctors: Various factors figure into Carter cancer treatment    photo
ATLANTA (AP) — Determining what treatment to pursue for former President Jimmy Carter’s cancer will depend on its type, its origin and factors such as age and health, doctors said. Carter, 90, announced Wednesday that recent liver surgery found cancer that has spread to other parts of his…
Kids with cancer get futuristic chance at saving fertility    photo
CHICAGO (AP) — Barely 2 years old, Talia Pisano is getting tough treatment for kidney cancer that spread to her brain. She’s also getting a chance at having babies of her own someday. To battle infertility sometimes caused by cancer treatment, some children’s hospitals are trying a futuristic…
Scientists say fetal tissue essential for medical research    photo
BOSTON (AP) — The furor on Capitol Hill over Planned Parenthood has stoked a debate about the use of tissue from aborted fetuses in medical research, but U.S. scientists have been using such cells for decades to develop vaccines and seek treatments for a host of ailments, from vision loss to…
EPA chief: Colorado mine spill ‘pains me’    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The head of the Environmental Protection Agency said Tuesday her department takes full responsibility for spilling 3 million gallons of mining waste that turned a southwest Colorado river an unnatural shade of orange, adding it “pains me to no end.” Gina McCarthy made the…
Colorado may ban ‘candy’ name on marijuana treats    photo
DENVER (AP) — Edible marijuana products in Colorado may soon come labeled with a red stop sign, according to a draft of new rules released Wednesday by state marijuana regulators. The state may also ban the word “candy” from edible pot products, even if they’re sweets such as suckers or gummy…
Blue Bell begins 1st ice cream shipments after listeria
BRENHAM, Texas (AP) — Blue Bell Creameries has resumed ice cream shipments four months after listeria contamination halted sales and production. The Brenham, Texas-based company on Tuesday used Twitter and Facebook to announce its trucks “are on the road again” and filled with ice cream. The…
Group behind anti-abortion videos is something of a mystery    photo
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — It calls itself the Center for Medical Progress, and its name has been all over the news in the past few weeks after it began releasing hidden-camera videos that set off an uproar over the use of tissue from aborted fetuses in medical research. But a review of the…
First lady’s healthy kids director knows toll of poor diet    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Debra “Deb” Eschmeyer was jobless and near penniless but excited about heading to Ecuador with her husband as Peace Corps volunteers. Then everything changed. Jeff, the high school sweetheart she had recently married, was diagnosed in February 2004 with diabetes, a lifelong…
Some US rowers fall ill at 2016 Olympics test event    photo
RIO DE JANEIRO (AP) — Thirteen rowers on the 40-member U.S. team came down with stomach illness at the World Junior Rowing Championships — a trial run for next summer’s Olympics — and the team doctor said she suspected it was due to pollution in the lake where the competition took…
NYC mayor: Legionnaires’ outbreak has claimed 12 lives    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Two more people in the Bronx have died of Legionnaires’ disease, bringing the total of fatalities to 12 in the largest outbreak of the disease in New York City history, officials said Monday. There are now 113 reported cases of Legionnaires’ in the Bronx, and cooling towers in…

 

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(None on the weekends)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Anonymous”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Robert G. Lee, “Babies”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Marvy Snuffleson learned that, because he ran away to avoid tonsil surgery, that his tonsils got worse and killed him! Other kids also died because they saw Marvy as a hero, and even the entire population of Razzleflabbin Island is now gone because Marvy wasn’t around to keep them from being hit by a giant tidal wave!

 

CLOSE: An entire generation of Snufflesons wiped out because Marvy wouldn’t get his tonsils taken out? What more could possibly go wrong? Tune in next time to find out what happens – as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF AUGUST 15/16, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!

 

CLOSE: So Gruffy’s going on a picnic… I’m thinking Millard’s going to want to go too. So what’s the big deal with that? We’ll find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

Movies… and movie theatres… designed especially for moms and babies?

A Mexican cinema chain is getting set to offer movies for mothers and babies.  MovieMom will be launched at 15 cinemas next week.  Mothers who take their babies to the movies cinema will get bibs, baby food and a toy for their babies to play with while they watch the movie.  The temperature in the each cinema will be programmed for the comfort of the babies and some lights will be left on in case mothers need to use the cinema’s baby changing tables, located on each side.  ***MARLAR: Sounds nice, but I think is more along the lines of a Moment of Duh because, c’mon, who wants to have the smell of dirty diapers at changing tables mixing with the smell of movie popcorn?  Unless you’re watching the trash compactor scene of the first Star Wars movie…

 

 

TOP TEN

 

TOP TEN REASONS ‘STAR WARS’ IS BETTER THAN ‘TITANIC’

 

  1. The Titanic is big, but it doesn’t have hyperdrive.

 

  1. Yoda could’ve used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.

 

  1. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

 

  1. We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancé like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy ’cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun.

 

  1. Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?

 

  1. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.

 

  1. Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.

 

  1. Han Solo would’ve steered clear of that stinkin’ iceberg!

 

  1. We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could’ve anticipated, “Luke….I am your father”?

 

  1. Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a minor character.

 

 

 

DARTH VADER’S TOP TEN PET PEEVES

 

  1. The Emperor always drives the Emperial starship too slowly in the left-hand star lane.

 

  1. When the Emperor calls him his “Little Darthy” in front of the other officers

 

  1. Overpriced, under-delivering bounty hunters

 

  1. Thanks to the force, the Emperor always knows when Vader is making faces at him.

 

  1. Tall, Dark and Mysterious doesn’t work for him in personal ads.

 

  1. He went and turned evil just like the emperor wanted, but he never got to learn any of the really cool powers like shooting lightning from his hands.

 

  1. Ever since that Death Star thing, his insurance premiums have skyrocketed.

 

  1. Trying to figure out what Ewoks are saying.

 

  1. All the junk mail addressed to “Mr. Vader or Current Sith Apprentice”

 

  1. He invented the mono-color dress scheme long before Regis Philbin.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

In Germany, a young thug got the surprise of his life when he tried to hold up the wrong little old man.

 

FILE #1: Turned out this little old man was 88-year-old former boxing champion Gerhard Brinkmann who knocked out the young punk cold! Gerhard told the cops, “I was visiting a friend’s grave when a young, long-haired man came up to me and demanded I hand over my money. I told him to come closer if he wanted it and as he did I landed a full-force right hook on his chin!” Gerhard was the German lightweight boxing champion of 1936. The kid remained unconscious while Gerhard called police, but came to and ran before they got to the scene. Gerhard said, “I can’t run like I used to but I can still put up a good fight.”

 

FILE #2: Going samurai on your recliner isn’t illegal. At least that’s the ruling from a Canadian judge. Wayne Bell of Sarnia, Ontario, was busted after he attacked an old chair on his patio with a yard-long sword. During his trial, Bell said skewering the old recliner was fun and felt good. He was arrested for possession of a dangerous weapon. But a judge dismissed the charge, saying the sword could only be considered a weapon if it was used to intimidate somebody.

 

FILE #3: Two girls aged 10 and 13 tried to rob a bank in Pennsylvania — saying they got most of their ideas from TV. ***MARLAR: Yeah, but learning most of your bank robbery lessons by watching the show COPS isn’t the best plan.

 

STRANGE LAW: Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Trying to bribe a deputy with a stack of Dunkin’ Donuts coupons was the suspected drunken driver’s first mistake.

…After being arrested, the Hutchinson Island man compounded the error by threatening that the deputy would “get a bullet,” Martin County sheriff’s reports state. Michael J. Matakaetis, 23, was charged with DUI and corruption by threat.  A police officer stopped Matakaetis in a 2000 Lexus on suspicion of speeding. The officer called for a sheriff’s deputy after becoming suspicious that the driver was impaired. The deputy arrived to be offered the coupons. “You can have these if you just let me park the car and I’ll walk home,” Matakaetis told the deputy.  Matakaetis failed roadside sobriety tests, was arrested and taken to jail.  Once in the breath-test room, Matakaetis made his situation worse when he told the deputy, “You’re done, you’re done. You’re gonna get a bullet. … You should’ve let me go.”

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Best Star Wars movie? Worst? Who is your favorite Star Wars character? What about the upcoming Star Wars films – have we had enough, or are you looking forward to them?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: What was the name of the queen whose blood was sprinkled on horses?
ANSWER: Jezebel (2 Kings 9:30-33)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: In “Star Wars” what animal do the Sand People ride?

ANSWER: Banthas

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. In an early draft of Star Wars, the character of Luke Skywalker was called Dirk Starkiller. (True)

 

  1. Children laugh about 40 times a day. (False – more like 400 times a day! Sadly, adults laugh on average only 15 times a day.)

 

  1. Americans make 350 billion phone calls a year. (True – most of them by teenage girls.)

 

  1. In your lifetime, you will walk about 600,000 miles. (False – 65,000 miles)

 

  1. The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean. (True)

 

  1. The footprints left by astronauts on the Moon are expected to last about 1 million years. (False – 10 million years)

 

  1. About 17% of all working Americans have at some time worked at McDonalds. (False – 7%)

 

  1. There are 36 squares on a Monopoly board. (False – 40)

 

  1. The average wind speed on the planet Jupiter is 225 miles per hour. (True)

 

  1. 85%-90% of a horse’s life is spent on its feet. (True)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

________ FORECLOSES ON WHITE HOUSE (CHINA)

BEIJING – China has foreclosed on the White House and wants the First Family out by the end of the month.

China bluntly criticized the US just two days after the superpower’s credit rating was downgraded, saying the “good old days” of borrowing were over.  And to prove their point – they foreclosed on the White House.

How could they do that?  Well,  China, the United States’ biggest creditor,  owns the majority of U.S. debt and instead of demanding repayment on outstanding debt, they have decided to seize the White House as an “impetus to get the U.S. government to get control of their debt!”

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear–everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie – the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and MandMs. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. The wife said, “You idiot, I meant my dress size!”
The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

 

JOKE #2

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5 and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity  for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Okay Ryan, you be Jesus.”

 

JOKE #3

For those of us who remember the good old days. In my day, we didn’t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope you could outrun him.

 

 

USELESS FACTS

STAR WARS ARTIST

An artist in Melbourne, Australia, sparked outrage with “Crusci-fiction,” an exhibit of C3PO robots nailed to crosses, which he says is not meant to be sacrilegious.  ***MARLAR: It is, however, meant to be a review of the last three “Star Wars” movies.

 

 

STAR WARS NAME GAME

That’s right! You, too, can have your own official Star Wars name! Here’s how it works: Take the last three letters of your first name, backwards. Follow that with the first car you ever drove. Add “from the planet,” and finish with the last medication you ingested.  For me, “Hello, I am Ner Vega from the planet Nexium!”

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

STUFF TO SAY TO A STAR WARS FAN TO DRIVE THEM UP THE WALL

  • “Star Wars?” Is that anything like “Battlestar Galactica?”
  • “Return of the Jedi.” That’s the one where Captain Picard faces the Borg for the first time after being rescued, right?
  • Wasn’t it the fifth “Star Wars” movie where they went back in time to pick-up a bunch of humpback whales to save the Earth?
  • Yeah, Lucas is great and all, but the Star Wars movies would’ve been better if Jonathan Frakes were directing.
  • I know Yoda’s in the Star Wars movies – but when are they going to bring back Kermit and Miss Piggy?

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

STAR WARS WEDDING

Not that long ago, in a galaxy not so far away— in Esher, UK to be exact– 33-year-old Bramwell Brightey got married to 29-year-old Tamsyn Lofts in a wedding that would have made any self-respecting Star Wars geek break down and cry! Bramwell was dressed as Han Solo while Tamsyn dressed as Princess Leia in what was called the ultimate Star Wars wedding. Attending the service was Chewbacca, various storm troopers and Obi Wan Kenobi. Bramwell said, “We didn’t really want a traditional church wedding, so we decided we’d do something different.” The couple originally wanted to hold the wedding on May 4– as in “May the fourth be with you”– but instead waited until the following week which was their eighth anniversary together. With 50 guests at the wedding and another 50 at the reception afterwards, Bramwell admitted that the sight of so many costumes was “amazing”. And you guessed it– instead of a traditional first dance at their reception the couple opted for a light saber duel with all the lights off. Bramwell said, “The whole day was amazing, everyone looked amazing. I said to everyone there, this is the greatest day of my life. Everyone made an extra special effort and without them, it wouldn’t have been as good.”  ***MARLAR: But then Jar-Jar Binx showed up and ruined it for everybody.

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

A farmer’s wife had spread a slanderous story about her pastor through the village, and soon the whole countryside had heard it. Sometime later the woman became sick and confessed the story was untrue. After her recovery she came to the pastor and craved his pardon. The old pastor said, “Of course I will gladly pardon you if you will comply with a wish of mine.” “Gladly,” replied the woman. “Go home, kill a black hen, pluck the feathers, and put them in a basket and bring them here.”
In half an hour she was back. “Now,” said the pastor, “go through the village and at each street corner scatter a few of these feathers, the remaining ones take to the top of the belltower and scatter them to the winds, then return.” She did so. “Now go through the village and gather the feathers again, and see that not one is missing.”
The woman looked at the pastor in astonishment and said, “Why that is impossible! The wind has scattered them over the fields everywhere!”
“And so,” said he, “while I forgive you gladly, do not forget that you can never undo the damage your untrue words have done.”

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Read: Mark 14:3-9

Jesus said, “Let her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a good work for Me.” —Mark 14:6

After being away on business, Terry wanted to pick up some small gifts for his children. The clerk at the airport gift shop recommended a number of costly items. “I don’t have that much money with me,” he said. “I need something less expensive.” The clerk tried to make him feel that he was being cheap. But Terry knew his children would be happy with whatever he gave them, because it came from a heart of love. And he was right—they loved the gifts he bought.

During Jesus’ last visit to the town of Bethany, Mary wanted to show her love for Him (Mark 14:3-9). So she brought “an alabaster flask of very costly oil of spikenard” and anointed Him (v.3). The disciples asked angrily, “Why this waste?” (Matthew 26:8). Jesus told them to stop troubling her, for “she has done a good work for Me” (Mark 14:6). Another translation reads, “She has done a beautiful thing to Me.” Jesus delighted in her gift, for it came from a heart of love. Even anointing Him for burial was beautiful!

What would you like to give to Jesus to show your love? Your time, talent, treasure? It doesn’t matter if it’s costly or inexpensive, whether others understand or criticize. Whatever is given from a heart of love is beautiful to Him. —Anne Cetas

 

With thankful hearts give praise to Jesus
For His blessings without end;
Let’s give to Him our full devotion—
He’s our Savior and our Friend. —D. De Haan

 

A healthy heart beats with love for Jesus.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

JUST CALL HIM “OBEE ONE ENROLEE”

Wanna be a Jedi?

Adrian Pavel, the head of Romania’s “Star Wars” Club, has founded the Jedi Academy, after so many fans asked how they could be more like the movie characters. He told the Libertatea newspaper that they had meetings and lectures and dressed like Jedis, but that wasn’t enough. Now, anyone who passes a 100-question quiz can join the academy and learn about the Jedi religion, light saber fighting, how to speak Wookiee, and even how to cook dishes seen in the films, such as Sand Trooper sandwiches, Princess Leia Danish donuts, and Wookiee Cookies. ***MARLAR: Or as the rest of us know them, “Dog biscuits.”

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

CHURCH OF THE JEDI

The Church of the Jedi now has an actual church building.

“Star Wars” fan brothers Barney and Daniel Jones of Anglesey, Wales, have founded the UK Church of the Jedi. They said they’ve found Jedi religions on the Internet, but they plan to open an actual church. The congregation will wear black, and they will wear brown Jedi master robes and deliver sermons on the Force, light saber training and meditation techniques. And they say women will be welcomed because, as Barney said, “Princess Leia helped them out a lot.”  ***MARLAR: If any women show up, it will be the church’s first miracle.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

CHEWBACCA IS NOW AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!

It’s official: Chewbacca is an American. British actor Peter Mayhew, who plays the “Star Wars” Wookie hero, became a citizen recently at a ceremony in Arlington, Texas, a Dallas suburb. Mayhew said he’s always been fascinated with cowboys and American history, and marrying a Texas lady “more or less decided it.” When he took the oath of American citizenship, he recited what he could remember… and then used a Chewie growl for the other parts. ***MARLAR: Which isn’t much different than the way most Americans sing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

 

 

FUN LIST

THE CHARACTERS OF STAR WARS

  • Luke Skywalker. At first Lucas planned to portray him as an elderly general, but decided that making him a teenager gave him more potential for character development. Lucas originally named the character Luke Starkiller, but on the first day of shooting he changed it to the less violent Skywalker.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi. Lucas got his idea for Obi-Wan Kenobi and “the Force” after reading Carlos Castaneda’sTales of Power, an account of Don Juan, a Mexican-Indian sorcerer and his experiences with what he called “the life force.”
  • Darth Vader. David Prowse, a six-foot, seven-inch Welsh weightlifter, played the part of Darth Vader. But Lucas didn’t want his villain to have a Welsh accent, so he dubbed James Earl Jones’s voice over Prowse’s. Still, Prowse loved the part. “He took the whole thing very seriously,” Lucas remembers. “He began to believe he really was Darth Vader.”
  • Han Solo. In the early stages of development, Han Solo was a green-skinned, gilled monster with a girlfriend named Boma who was a cross between a guinea pig and a brown bear. Solo was supposed to make only a few appearances in the film, but Lucas later made him into a swashbuckling, reckless human (allegedly modeled after the film director Francis Ford Coppola).
  • Chewbacca. Lucas got the idea for Chewbacca one morning in the early 1970s while watching his wife Marcia drive off in her car. She had their Alaskan malamute, Indiana (the namesake for Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark), and Lucas liked the way the large, shaggy dog looked in the passenger seat. So he decided to create a character in the film that was a cross between Indiana, a bear, and a monkey.
  • Princess Leia. Carrie Fisher was a beautiful 19-year-old actress when she was cast to play Princess Leia, but Lucas did everything he could to tone down her femininity. At one point, he even ordered that her chest be strapped down with electrical tape.
  • R2-D2. Lucas got the name R2-D2 while filming American Graffiti. During a sound-mixing session for the film, editor Walter Murch asked him for R2, D2 (Reel 2, Dialogue 2) of the film. Lucas liked the name so much that he made a note of it, and eventually found the right character for it.
  • C-3PO. Inspired by a robot character in Alex Raymond’s science fiction novel, Iron Men of Mongo. Raymond’s robot was a copper-colored, polite robot who was shaped like a man who worked as a servant. Lucas intended that C-3PO and R2-D2 be a space-age Laurel and Hardy team.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

STAR WARS OLYMPICS

Can the 2014 Olympic Games be on the Star Wars planet of Hoth?

Web designer Shane Igoe was bothered by the low TV ratings for the Winter Olympics so he began a campaign to petition for the 2014 Olympics to be held on the ice planet Hoth from “Star Wars.” He drew thousands of supporters, some of whom created artists’ renderings of possible events, such as the Stormtrooper Biathlon. Igoe admits there would’ve been a couple of catches: the 2014 Olympic sites have already been slotted for Sochi, Russia… and the planet Hoth is completely made-up. ***MARLAR: As are the sports of snowboarding and curling!

 

THE “REAL” PRINCESS LEIA

There’s a real Princess Leah.  Norway’s Princess Martha Louise gave birth to a baby girl named after the famous “Star Wars” character.  Princess Leah (spelled differently than the Star Wars character “Leia” but still pronounced the same), was born on April 8, 2005 and is fifth in line to the Norwegian throne.  “I must admit that I have always been a big ‘Star Wars’ fan, and Princess Leia has always been the most beautiful in the whole world,” Princess Martha Louise said.  ***MARLAR: Do you think Leah’s dad wears a lot of black and has an asthma problem?

 

 

MAKING THE FILM “STAR WARS”

  • It took Lucas over two years to write the script. He spent 40 hours a week writing and devoted much of his free time to reading comic books and watching old “Buck Rogers” episodes and other serials looking for film ideas.
  • Lucas insisted on casting unknown actors and actresses in all the important parts of the film – which made the studio uneasy. Mark Hamill had more than 100 TV appearances, and Carrie Fisher had studied acting, but neither had had much experience in films. Harrison Ford’s biggest role had been as the drag racer in American Graffiti, and when he read for the part of Han Solo he was working as a carpenter.

 

 

STAR WARS SPECIAL EFFECTS

  • The spaceship battles were inspired by World War II films. Before filming the special effect began, Lucas watched dozens of war movies like Battle of Britain and The Bridges of Toko-Ri, taping his favorite air battle scenes as he went along. Later he edited them down to a 10-minute black-and-white film, and gave it to the special effects team – which reshot the scenes using X-wing and T.I.E. fighter models.
  • None of the spaceship models ever moved an inch during the filming of the flight sequences. The motion was an optical illusion created by moving the cameras around motionless models.

 

 

MISCELLANEOUS FACTS

  • The executives at 20th Century Fox hated the film the first time they saw it. Some of the company’s board of directors fell asleep during the first screening; others didn’t understand the film at all. One executive’s wife even suggested that C-3PO be given a moving mouth, because no one would understand how he could talk without moving his lips.
  • The underwater monster in the trash compactor was one of Lucas’s biggest disappointment in the film. He had planned to have an elaborate “alien jellyfish” in the scene, but the monster created by the special effects department was so poorly constructed that it reminded him of “a big, wide, brown turd.” Result: The monster was filmed underwater during most of the scene – so that moviegoers wouldn’t see it.

 

 

CHEWBACCA PLAYS BASEBALL?

An actor playing Chewbacca threw out the ceremonial first pitch prior to a game between the Boston Red Sox and Toronto Blue Jays Fenway Park in Boston recently. Chewbacca and an actress playing Princess Leia were promoting the Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit at the Museum of Science in Boston.  ***MARLAR: Chewbacca was chosen to pitch because Leia throws like a girl.

 

 

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Mondays Only)

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

A massive gate unearthed in Israel may have marked the entrance to a biblical city that, at its heyday, was the biggest metropolis in the region. The town, called Gath, was occupied until the ninth century B.C. The Old Testament also describes Gath as the home of Goliath. The new findings reveal just how impressive the ancient Philistine city once was. Though archaeologists have been excavating at the site since 1899, it wasn’t until the past few decades that they realized how massive the Iron Age remains really were. http://ow.ly/QzcTd

 

It sounds like fans of Netflix show Fuller House, the Full House re-boot, won’t be disappointed. Candace Cameron Bure, who plays D.J. Tanner, was part of the tapeings of the first 2 shows and said the studio audience went crazy for both shows. The show picks up the life of DJ as a single mom. The show will also welcome back Jodie Sweeten as Stephanie Tanner and Andrea Barber as Kimmy Kibler. John Stammos and Bob Saget, playing their roles as Jesse and Danny Taner, are also expected to make some appearances.  http://ow.ly/QQXVz

 

The clock is ticking down to the first day of school. But, don’t panic or let stress fill your remaining summer days and weeks. iMom is offering a countdown to back to school checklist that will keep the details in order so you can enjoy your kids and what’s left of the summer.  http://bit.ly/1Md2GEw

 

 

“UP” RULES FROM GOD


WAKE UP: Decide to have a good day.
“Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” –Psalms 118:24

DRESS UP: The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart.” –I Samuel 16:7

HUSH UP: Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. “He who guards his lips guards his soul.” –Proverbs 13:3

STAND UP: …For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything. “Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…” –Galatians 6:9-10

LOOK UP: …To the Lord. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. –Philippians 4:13

REACH UP: …For something higher. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” –Proverbs 3:5-6

LIFT UP: …Your Prayers. “Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING.” –Philippians 4:6

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

They should make a pre-pre-pre-pre-prequel to “Star Wars” and have it take place in the 90’s. It would clear up a lot of the confusion, and it’d be cool to see Brian Skywalker, M.C. Yoda and Darth Jennifer.  –Pete Thompson

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

Cool Ideas for a Warmer Workplace

We lived in Dallas, Texas, in the late 1980s. Moving from Sacramento, California, we were used to hot weather. But northern California summers have that famed “dry heat.” Dallas summers have that “unbearable who-chooses-to-live-here” kind of heat. By year three, we adjusted. Almost…adjusted.

 

It was interesting to see men in suits and sport coats with ties on hot summer days. And on Sundays, we noticed the women wearing sweaters to church! The Dallas mindset was simple: you live in air conditioned homes, travel in air conditioned cars, and work in air conditioned offices. Thus, churches were also very cool places to be!

This past week, I discovered that office temperature is a long standing issue for women. Two male scientists have published a study in the journal Nature Climate Change. They’ve determined that office temperatures are set based on a decades-old formula calculating the metabolic rates of men. (See the complete story here: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/04/science/chilly-at-work-a-decades-old-formula-may-be-to-blame.html?emc=edit_th_20150804&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=68618012)

From this scientific report, we learn that most building thermostats are set using a thermal comfort model from the 1960s. That model used air temperature, air speed, vapor pressure, and clothing insulation to arrive at the recommended setting. Who knew that still today we have been impacted by “Fanger’s thermal comfort equation”? Well, most women can tell you…it’s too cold in most offices.

Changing times have brought more women into the workplace. In fact, women now comprise about half the staffing of many companies. And their metabolism is slower than a man’s.

Bottom line…changes in office temperature pre-sets are being recommended. Read the article if you want more details. And especially if you’d like to see that Fanger equation mapped out! I was overheating just looking at it!

I have another idea. Call it, “Mark’s Five Ways to Warm Up the Workplace.” It has nothing to do with thermostats. Or any equation from Fanger.

My five will not actually change the temperature in the office, but your team will find YOU a much warmer leader. Your “Good Boss Score” will go up. Perhaps your retention rate as well.

My five ways are:

  • Give compliments. Employees almost always feel shortchanged on hearing about the good work they are doing. Think back on the One Minute Manager. He uses “one minute praisings” when catching people doing something right. Good idea!
  • Ask questions of interest. To help remove the stigma of “all he/she cares about is us making more money,” use casual conversation to find out basic lifestyle points of interest in the lives of your team members. Keep notes on this information for reference later. Bring an item up in a meeting!
  • Unexpected treats. Having a company brunch, lunch, or individualized treats dropped off in the afternoon during busy seasons or difficult pressure times are sure day brighteners. Especially if the boss is the one delivering the goods.
  • Thank you notes. As the hard hearted boss might ask, “Why do I need to give my employees a thank you note? I believe that’s called a paycheck!” A good boss doesn’t need my answer, but here it is anyway: Thank you notes increase loyalty and turn up job performance because people feel appreciated! Many people hold on to them for years. If you need ideas in writing them, think about what you would like written in such a note written to YOU.
  • Half day party. Why wait for the Christmas season? Plan a half day cookout asking your team to relax and share stories about how THEIR company has helped people. Invite discussion of some challenges. Give lots of pats on the back. Put a little fun back into life for these folks.

Keep in mind this is only a starter list. No doubt a creative session would yield many more good ideas.

The Bible does not have such a list. But one of the distinctives of the Christian faith was how workers were instructed to perform faithfully even in difficult circumstances. Likewise, bosses were told to treat their workers well—unlike the mistreatment that was common in that day.

In Colossians 4:1, we read, “And masters, treat your servants considerately. Be fair with them. Don’t forget for a minute that you, too, serve a Master—God in heaven.” (MSG)

Wise leader, perhaps you may want to check how employees feel about office temperature. Women in parkas in August is generally not a good sign.

That’s The Way WE Work.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

AUGUST 14, 2014…

 

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—Yet another earlier TV action series (reference: “Mission Impossible”) is now brought to the screen. This time, it has to compete with five successful “Mission Impossible” films. Remember the suave Robert Vaughn as Napoleons Solo and David McCallum as his Russian sidekick, Illya Kuryakin. They go against the bad guys who have kidnapped the father of a scientist (Alicia Vikander.) This is in the Sixties with the Berlin Wall.  Solo now played by Henry Cavill and Kuryakin by Armie Hammer. Also in the cast is Hugh Grant. Vaughn and McCallum were top stars in their day with McCallum now back on top in “NCIS” as a navy doctor.  Guy Ritchie directs. “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

Straight Outta Compton—In the 1980’s (and this week at the movies seems to go back in time,) there was the beginning of Hip Hop, especially associated with the group N.W.A. which had Dr. Dre and Ice Cube as members.  They don’t play themselves, but Ice Cube’s son (O’Shea Jackson Jr.) portrays him as a youth and Corey Hawkins is Dr. Dre. The story of the groups rise in music is told against street rioting of that time. Profanity here and beware of the R rating.

 

Underdogs—This animated film is about two rivals from childhood. Voices of Matthew Morrison from “Glee” and Nicholas Hoult who meet as adults and start the rivalry all over again. One is a soccer player and the other wants to demolish the field for real estate purposes. Other voices include Kate Hudson,  Ariana Grande and John Luguizamo. “Underdogs” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for animation fans.

 

Shaun The Sheep Movie–Claymation as an animation art form, has its fans, and this film goes with the best of them like “Wallace & Gromit.”  In this story, done by Claymation Studio Aardman, a herd of sheep must pull themselves together and go to the Big City to find their owner, a farmer, who can’t remember anything.  This involves humor such as the sheep going to a restaurant and then to an animal shelter. There are no voices here, rather sounds. This film is based on a British teleivision show. “Shaun The Sheep Movie” is rated PG. and rated 3 for fans and you know who you are.

 

Ten Thousand Saints—This coming of age film set in the 1980’s, stars Hailee Steinfeld, Asa Butterfield, Emile Hirsch and Emily Mortimer, who hang out together as teens. When Emily discovers she is pregnant and the father has died, the group decides to raise the baby by themselves. Study of drug use and yippies. “Ten Thousand Saints“ is rated R. No rating.,  Book by Eleanor Henderson.

 

AUGUST 21, 2014…

 

Digging for Fire has a young, married couple finding a weapon and bones and over a weekend trying to figure out what is going on. Stars Jake Johnson and Anna Hendrick.

 

Sinister 2 carries on the theme of the first film in which people are haunted by spirits.

Stars Shannon Sossamon.

 

Sleeping With Other People stars Jason Sudiekis as a guy who regularly cheats and tries to reform.

 

# # # # #

 

 

WARNING:  Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.