August 29, 2015: Saturday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150829

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

The management of this station is not responsible for any loss of dignity suffered while listening to today’s (JOCK SHOW).

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.” –Philippians 4:6-7

 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! — 2 Corinthians 5:17

 

Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: To believe in the one he has sent.” — John 6:29

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” — John 6:68

 

Thought: When Jesus asked his disciples if they would leave him like everyone else had, Peter’s response is powerful and great. He knew where truth originated! He had heard the voice on the Mountain saying, “This is my Son, whom I love; listen to him!” He had seen Jesus’ words change reality and destroy barriers to God’s love and truth. Indeed, he knew that there was no one else who had the words of eternal life! So who are you listening to?

 

Prayer: Almighty God, thank you for making Jesus so accessible to me. Jesus helps me see the full extent of your love. Jesus helps me more completely understand your message about wanting to redeem me and make me your own. I want to always come to Jesus for truth, grace, refreshment, and hope. There is no other one that I want to be my Lord except my crucified Savior, Jesus. Today, Father, gently confront me in those areas where I have yet to fully yield to your Son’s lordship in my life. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Romans 8:29 NIV = For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son…

 

 

TODAY IS SATURDAY – AUGUST 29, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 122 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.  

 

In the first movie THE TERMINATOR, today is the anniversary of Judgment Day (August 29, 1997). ***MARLAR: Then there’s this book called the Bible, and it says that no one knows when Judgment Day truly is. You be the judge. Figuratively, of course.

 

Today is INTERNATIONAL SING-OUT DAY, a day to break out in song like they do in the musicals.

(To the melody of “America” from West Side Story)

(JOCK) is live on the radio,

Not with his wife on the radio.

He’s taking five from the radio,

But he’ll be back live on the radio.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

According to Hoyle Day

Franchise Appreciation Day

Individual Rights Day

International Bat Night

International Day Against Nuclear Tests

More Herbs, Less Salt Day

National Sarcoidosis Awareness Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

SUNDAY, AUGUST 30

International Bat Night

International Day of the Victims of Enforced Disappearances

International Whale Shark Day

National Grief Awareness Day

National Holistic Pet Day

National Toasted Marshmallow Day

Pony Express Day

 

MONDAY, AUGUST 31

International Overdose Awareness Day

Love Litigating Lawyers Day

 

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 01

Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day

Calendar Adjustment Day

Chicken Boy’s Day

Emma M. Nutt Day

International Day of Awareness of the Dolphins of Taiji

National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day

Save Japan’s Dolphins Day

Toy Tips Executive Toy Test Day

 

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 02

Bison-ten Yell Day

V-J Day

 

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 03

Penny Press Day

 

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 04

Bring Your Manners To Work Day

Cow Chip Throwing Days

National College Colors Day

Hug Your Boss Day

National Lazy Boss Day

National Wildlife Day

Newspaper Carrier Day

 

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 05

Cow Chip Throwing Days

Bacon Day

Be Late For Something Day

Franchise Appreciation Day

International Day of Charity

Jury Rights Day

National Buffalo Chicken Wings Days

National Writing Date Day

Pet Rock Day

 

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 06

National Buffalo Chicken Wings Days

 

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 07

Google Commemoration Day

Great Bathtub Race

Grandma Moses Day

Labor Day

National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day

“Neither Snow Nor Rain” Day

Salami Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1533: The last Incan King of Peru, Atahualpa, was murdered on orders from Spanish conqueror Francisco Pizarro. The Inca Empire died with him.

 

1958: 15-year-old George Harrison joined John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Ken Brown in the group, the Quarrymen, to perform at Liverpool’s Casbah Coffee Club. The Beatles’ final public concert would come eight years later to the day in San Francisco.

 

1964: Monument Records released “Oh, Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison.

 

1967: Seventy-two percent of American TV viewers watched Dr. Richard Kimbal catch up with the one-armed man on “The Fugitive.” It was a record that stood until 76% found out who shot J.R. on November 21, 1980.

 

1973: Judge John Sirica ordered President Nixon to turn over secret Watergate tapes. Nixon refused and appealed the order.

 

1977: Memphis police caught three body snatchers trying to steal Elvis, just a week and a half after his burial. As a result, Vernon Presley had his son’s and wife’s bodies moved from Forest Hill cemetery to the grounds at Graceland. ***MARLAR: Wait a minute… Elvis is dead?!?!?   When did THAT happen?!?!

 

1987: Academy Award winning actor Lee Marvin died in Tucson at age 63.

 

1990: Sandy the dog, who starred for six years on Broadway in “Annie,” died in his sleep at age 16. That’s 112 in dog years.

 

1990: Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, in a television interview, declared that America could not defeat Iraq.

 

1993: In Dallas 15-year-old Erika Olivares fulfilled her dream. She married Juaquin Valdez, waltzed in a white dress with her father, and tossed her bridal bouquet. In the final stages of leukemia, she died the next day.

 

1996: Isaac Hayes, who co-wrote the Stax classic “Soul Man,” sent a protest letter to presidential candidate Bob Dole requesting Dole stop using his song, which his supporters had changed to “I’m A Dole Man.”

 

1999: Thieves in Melbourne, Australia, stole a truck loaded with toilet paper. Street value: $18,900.

 

2002: A Slovakian motorist who blew up his car and a gas station when he used a cigarette lighter to look into his gas tank was charged with endangering public safety. The 30 year-old man said his fuel gauge had broken. The lighter flame ignited the tank and the fire demolished much of the small gas station in the west Slovak town of Horna Streda.

 

2005: The average U.S. pump price for a gallon of regular gasoline rose to a record $2.60.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

29: Since the fifth century, tradition has this as the date for the beheading of John the Baptist.

 

70: Romans burn the gates, enter the Temple courtyards of Jerusalem, and destroy the temple by fire. Within a month, Jewish resistance ends.

 

1632: John Locke, English philosopher and author of The Reasonableness of Christianity, is born. He emphasized reason over the supernatural and argued that the essence of Christianity acknowledges Christ as the Messiah who came to our world primarily to spread the true knowledge of God.

 

1792: Charles Grandison Finney, the father of modern revivalism, is born in Warren, Connecticut. The Old School Presbyterians resented Finney’s modifications to Calvinist theology. The revivalistic Congregationalists, led by Lyman Beecher, feared that Finney was opening the door to fanaticism by allowing too much expression of human emotion. Others criticized his “scare tactics.” Nevertheless, Finney paved the way for later mass-evangelists like Dwight L. Moody, Billy Sunday, and Billy Graham.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • Actress (The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Risky Business, Guilty as Sin) Rebecca De Mornay, 56
  • Actor (Shall We Dance, Chicago, The Mothman Prophecies, Pretty Woman, An Officer And A Gentleman) Richard Gere, 66
  • TV host (“Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”, Campbell’s Soup pitch man) Robin Leach 74
  • Actor (M*A*S*H the movie) Elliott Gould, 77
  • Arizona Senator/former U.S. Presidential Candidate John McCain, 79

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1920 : Charlie “Bird” Parker

1924 : Dinah Washington

1942 : Sterling Morrison (The Velvet Underground)

1943 : Dick Halligan (Blood, Sweat & Tears)

1945 : Chris Copping (Procol Harum)

1953 : Rick Downey (Blue Oyster Cult)

1958 : Michael Jackson

1969 : Me’Shell NdegéOcello

1970 : Carl Martin (Shai)

1975 : Kyle Cook (Matchbox Twenty)

1980 : David Desrosiers (Simple Plan)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Why do we call a problem with a torn cuticle a “hangnail?”

By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that a hangnail has something to do with capital punishment for nails. First, we need to tell you what a cuticle is. The cuticle is the hardened skin at the base of a nail and it’s that, not the nail itself, that’s torn. In Anglo-Saxon England, a corn on the toe was called an “agnail.” They derived that word from “ang,” meaning “ouch, it hurts,” and naegl, the head of a nail, because a corn looked like the head of a different kind of nail… the kind you drive into wood with a hammer. The toe and finger problems seemed similar, and the two kinds of “nails” at least sounded identical. So you shift the anatomy, make a pun and add an “h” and you have the hangnail. And it still hurts.

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Kevin Max had an interesting conversation with one of the kids in his neighborhood this week:

Neighbor Kid: ‘Mr Max, are you a real pirate?’

Me: ‘Not really, but I have sailed the seven seas, got a tattoo of a ship on my arm, met many a fair lady, been in some fights, and have pilfered ideas from the treasure chests of the artistic collective…”

Neighbor Kid: “Sounds real enough to me…”

 

Comedian Bob Smiley made some interesting finds when he got out his kids backpack this week in preparation for their first day of school. In the back packs Bob said he found his kid’s summer reading list and also the last thing he put in their lunch boxes last spring.

 

Jeremy Camp is dispelling a rumor. He was on the tour bus with his manager and shared a portion of their conversation. As part of their discuss Jeremy was asked about the rumor that they were having another baby. Jeremy emphasized that there is no truth to the rumor.

 

Filming for the for King and Country movie called Priceless is underway. Members of the band shared that filming is taking place this week in New Mexico. They released a movie poster that says it will be coming to theaters in 2016. It says For King and Country and Radiate Films present a Smallbone brothers film: Priceless, She’s Worth Fighting For. Find out more at PricelessTheMovie.com.

 

Jenny Simmons recently announced the addition of a cat to their family and it sounds like their daughter Annie’s first pet will give her plenty to write about. Jenny shared a picture as the cat sat inches away from her daughter face and posted: If given the choice, the new cat likes to sit nose to nose and stare at you all day long.

 

Aaron Shust has a new home, much simpler, home on facebook. He tweeted this week: Yes, diehard Facebookers, I’m no longer aaronshustsofficialbandpage! Just Aaron Shust. Facebook finally granted permission to change!!! Yippee!

 

Blanca was dealing with change this week. She shared a picture of her young son as he prepared to head out for his first day of preschool.

 

Kutless member James Mead says that are several ways to define the word Alarm Clock. In addition to an actual alarm clock, James says other things that can get you up on time include: The smell of bacon, Kids, and a deflated air mattress.

 

Jason Gray and Josh Wilson have a special bond and it goes by the name Truck. Jason shared a picture this week as Josh passed the keys of his old Durango, affectionately called Truck, to Jason’s son.

 

 

WEIRD & WACKY

Sinkhole in China swallows 5 people
BEIJING (AP) — A sinkhole in a northeastern Chinese city swallowed five people in a dramatic scene that was captured on security video and shared widely on Chinese social media. A provincial broadcaster said four people were injured in the Saturday incident in the provincial capital of…

 

Beware manspreading, enjoy wine o’clock: new Oxford words    photo
LONDON (AP) — Manspreading is so widespread it’s now a word. The term, coined by commuters, refers to men on public transport who splay their legs wide apart and encroach on neighboring seats. It’s now been added to OxfordDictionaries.com. The free online dictionary of current usage, created…
Spain officials dismiss ‘gag-law’ fine for woman over photo
MADRID (AP) — Authorities say a woman who posted a photograph on social media of a police car parked in a disabled parking space did not break the much-criticized new Public Security Law — known as the “gag law” — and will not be fined. Police in the southeastern town of Petrer…
2 homeless pythons given to Vermont man headed to sanctuary    photo
NORTH CLARENDON, Vt. (AP) — Two giant southeast Asian pythons that were rescued by a long-time snake collector and were turned over to state game wardens are headed to a sanctuary. The larger of the two reticulated pythons picked up Tuesday by experts from the Massachusetts-based Rainforest…
Colorado police chief helps deliver own daughter on off-ramp
DENVER (AP) — A Colorado police chief helped deliver his own daughter after calling 911 from an interstate off-ramp. The Denver Post reports (http://dpo.st/1i1E3Oy) a dispatcher walked Eagle Police Chief Joey Staufer through the delivery in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Emergency…
Clock shock: British admit Big Ben’s bongs not quite on time    photo
LONDON (AP) — Don’t set your watch by Big Ben. Officials say the famous clock at Britain’s Parliament — used by Londoners for decades to check the time — has recently been slow by as much as six seconds. The 156-year-old clock chimes every 15 minutes and emits deep bongs to mark…
2 bears who caused trouble at Grand Teton at Dakota zoo
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) — A zoo in southeast South Dakota has taken in two black bears that caused some trouble at Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. The Great Plains Zoo and Delbridge Museum of Natural History in Sioux Falls will now be home to a 12-year-old female bear and her young cub….
Pair found asleep in garage after homeowner reports burglary
NEW CASTLE, Pa. (AP) — Police in Pennsylvania say officers found a couple asleep in a garage with the light on after a homeowner reported a burglary. New Castle police tell the New Castle News (http://bit.ly/1MKLvZB) that they found the couple early Saturday, shortly after the homeowner…
Dog’s warning tipped family to Nevada house fire
SPANISH SPRINGS, Nev. (AP) — A Spanish Springs family has been forced out of their home after a house fire, but authorities say no one was hurt thanks in part to a family pet. Officials for the Truckee Meadows Fire Protection District say one of the family’s dogs alerted them to the fire that…
Texas couple rushes marriage vows to beat the stork
HOUSTON (AP) — It could have been the plot of a movie: A Houston couple improvises a hospital wedding in less than an hour after the bride goes into labor early. Stephanie Tallent was eight months pregnant and having an ultrasound Friday when she went into labor at Texas Children’s Pavilion…
Police: Woman found intruder taking a shower, doing laundry
ERIE, Pa. (AP) — Pennsylvania State Police say a woman found an intruder taking a shower and doing his laundry at her home when she woke up. Troopers say the resident summoned police to her home in Greene Township, near Erie, on Saturday morning. Twenty-four-year-old Erie resident Casey James…

 

 

 

HEALTH & FITNESS

Woman to give birth to conjoined twins in Colorado    photo
AURORA, Colo. (AP) — An expectant mother of conjoined twins in Colorado has been told by doctors one of her babies won’t survive, but she’s hopeful one can be saved. Amber McCullough, of Hastings, Minnesota, was scheduled to have a C-section to deliver twin girls at the Colorado Fetal Care…

 

Amputees decry Medicare payment overhaul for artificial feet    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Famous people don’t often get involved with Medicare payment policy, but a Boston Marathon bombing survivor and a former U.S. senator who lost a leg in wartime service have joined an industry campaign to block new requirements for artificial legs and feet. Medicare’s…
Tackling goes high-tech at Dartmouth with new dummies    photo
HANOVER, N.H. (AP) — On the Ivy League campus of Dartmouth College, even the football tackling dummies are smart. The team introduced a new MVP as the first practice of the season got underway Wednesday. Not a most valuable player, but a “Mobile Virtual Player” — a padded,…
3 generations of Swedish family linked by single womb    photo
GOTHENBURG, Sweden (AP) — For one family in Sweden, a pioneering procedure has led to a baby being born from the same womb that nurtured his mother, uniting three generations. The new mother, who lost her own uterus to cancer in her 20s, said it was “unimaginable” that she now had her own…
Doctors recommend early exposure to prevent peanut allergies    photo
CHICAGO (AP) — A pediatricians’ group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn 1. The interim guidance is in response to a major allergy study published earlier this year that found that exposure to peanuts in infancy…
Report: Nearly 47 million people now have dementia
LONDON (AP) — Health researchers say there are now nearly 47 million people living with dementia globally, up from 35 million in 2009. They warned that without a medical breakthrough, numbers will likely double every 20 years. In a report issued on Tuesday, researchers from Alzheimer’s…
Prosecutors: Ex-surgeon calls himself ‘killer’ in email
DALLAS (AP) — A Texas neurosurgeon facing criminal charges alleging he may have intentionally hurt patients who had turned to him to resolve debilitating injuries sent a chilling email to his girlfriend saying he was ready to “become a cold blooded killer,” according to prosecutors….
Study finds peak months for college students’ 1st drug use    photo
CHICAGO (AP) — Parents worried that their college-bound children might succumb to the temptations of campus life may want to take note of a new analysis that found that students tend to experiment with specific types of drugs for the first time during certain times of year. College students…
PM hikes Romanian doctors’ wages by 25 percent
BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) — Romania’s prime minister has hiked doctors’ and nurses’ wages, among the lowest in Europe, by 25 percent after medics threatened to strike following a court ruling that they could no longer accept informal payments and gifts. Victor Ponta approved the raise…
Illinois man denies cancer drug smuggling conspiracy charge
HELENA, Mont. (AP) — An Illinois man pleaded not guilty Tuesday to conspiring with an online Canadian pharmacy to smuggle mislabeled, unapproved and, in two cases, counterfeit prescription drugs into the U.S. to sell to doctors. Ram Kamath appeared before U.S. Magistrate Judge Jeremiah Lynch…
Tardy tax filers risk loss of health care subsidies    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Sign-up season for President Barack Obama’s health care law doesn’t start for another couple of months, but the next few days are crucial for hundreds of thousands of customers at risk of losing financial aid when they renew coverage for 2016. Call them tardy tax filers: an…

 

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(None on the weekends)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Uphill Battle Goes Downhill”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Bob Smiley, “This Is My Real Voice”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson has just arrived home from a very busy day at school, and he was getting really tired of having to be so busy all of the time. Working all day at school, working on homework, working on chores, and now his father wants him to work at cleaning up his room!

 

CLOSE: What exactly is a weekly calendar clock-tower good for? Tune in again next time As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF AUGUST 29/30, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Gruffy Bear was heading out for a picnic, singing show tunes. He wanted to go alone, but Millard the Monkey talked him into taking him along as well… but then Millard told all the other jungle animals, and now everybody is heading out for one gigantic picnic!

 

CLOSE: The mother of all picnic spots in order to have the mother of all picnics! Tune in again next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

So, what happens if you ignore that warning label on spray paint that says “do not use near flame”?

A 15-year-old boy from Hunterdon County, New Jersey, wanted to know what would happen if you tossed a can of aerosol spray paint into a fire. However, instead of asking someone or even looking it up on the Internet, he decided to see for himself. Just so you know; the answer is that it will explode and give you second-degree burns if you stand too close, which he did.

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN THINGS YOU MUST DO BEFORE THE END OF SUMMER

 

  1. Touch up your temporary tattoos.

 

  1. Earn your degree in Piratology.

 

  1. Spend every spare minute in the back yard trying to your money’s worth out of that swimming pool.

 

  1. Re-grow all your hair… you know, after that incident with the BBQ grill.

 

  1. Locate the lawnmower where it ran out of gas in the back yard; It would rust badly if you wait till spring.

 

  1. Write your kid’s book report to clear that incomplete.

 

  1. Remove Christmas decorations from roof. See also: Things To Do Before End of Spring and Things To Do Before End of Winter.

 

  1. Find out which camp you dropped your kids at and hopefully pick them up.

 

  1. Insulate the dog house in case you’re exiled there this winter.

 

  1. Go back to the beach and unbury the kids from the sand sculpture you made back in July.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

If you tell a police officer that you’re a police officer yourself, it’s usually best to be able to back that up with some proof.

 

FILE #1: In Jackson, Mississippi, Ronald Simington was pulled over by the cops after a traffic accident. He offered up the excuse that he was a state trooper and was pursuing another suspect when the accident occurred. OK, said the officer, if you’re really a cop, then this must be your patrol car. Please turn on your lights and siren. So Ronnie reached toward the dash and threw an imaginary switch. Unfortunately, the imaginary lights and siren didn’t come on. He’s been sent to a not-so-imaginary jail.

 

FILE #2: One thing you have to say about 26-year-old Robert Lloyd Finder of North Bend, Oregon — he’s got guts — or maybe just no brains — not sure which so we’ll go with guts. Much to the embarrassment of North Bend police, he allegedly robbed a police station stealing a radio, two stun guns and a Crown Victoria patrol car. To the police department’s credit, they did make a quick arrest and caught him the next day trying to sell the stun guns. But Police Chief Steve Scibelli said, “I’m so upset about it, I can’t even find any humor in it. It’s pretty embarrassing.” Finder is now facing just about every charge the police could think up: burglary, possession of burglary tools, theft, unlawful use of a motor vehicle, unlawful entry into a motor vehicle, criminal mischief, criminal trespass, tampering with physical evidence and reckless driving. The burglary occurred when all the officers left a section of the building to respond to an assault call. Finder later told investigators he was walking near the station and noticed most of the police cars were gone. Chief Scibelli said, “He just wanted to see if he could pull this off. High risk, low reward. We were absolutely amazed that someone would have the nerve to do this.”

 

FILE #3: Police in Bakersfield, California, feared that a package in a parking lot was a bomb after they were alerted about a suspicious, unattended bag left in the lot. Police kept an eye on the bag for two hours. The area was evacuated and firefighters were put on alert until a bomb squad officer in protective gear crept up to the package and tore it open. And what was in the bag? Cookies.

 

STRANGE LAW: I know this law in Nevada is somewhat outdated. The law requires anyone walking on any street in Nevada to wear a mask. Just think how hard it would be to enforce this law in Las Vegas. Thousands of people would have to be arrested everyday. Just try putting on a mask and walking by a hotel/casino! You might be surprised how fast you get a response from security. But, I guess you could tell them you were only observing the law.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

In Albuquerque, New Mexico, Justin Alexander was having a big fight with his girlfriend. We don’t know what his plans were, but he laced her drink with a knockout drug. But when he brought the drinks out, he forgot which one was laced and which one wasn’t.  Of course, he drank the wrong one. He collapsed and hit his head on the coffee table moments after announcing to her that he had drugged her drink. He’s under arrest.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

What movie lines are constantly heard and said in conversation now, the witty lines that have impressed society’s funny bone and made an indention in our brains?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: When the foundation for the second temple was laid, the priest played trumpets. What did the Levites play?
ANSWER: Cymbals (Nehemiah 12:35-36)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: How many minutes on average do you spend at the office each day managing email?

ANSWER: 49 minutes per day (and 34% of the internal e-mail people get is considered “unnecessary.”)

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. Men can read smaller print than women. (True)

 

  1. The footprints left by astronauts on the Moon will last about 100 years. (False – 10 million years)

 

  1. The Atlantic Ocean is saltier then the Pacific Ocean. (True)

 

  1. In India, there are 3.5 private telephones for every 100 people. (True)

 

  1. Before Mickey Mouse, Felix the Cat was the most popular cartoon character. (True)

 

  1. The Pentagon was allowed to choose some of the clothes that John Travolta wore in the movie “Broken Arrow” so that the military would be portrayed positively. (True)

 

  1. The volume of water in the Mississippi River is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined. (False – the Amazon River)

 

  1. North America produces two-thirds of the world’s gold. (False – South Africa)

 

  1. The word “Checkmate” in chess means, “The King is Dead.” (True. It comes from the Persian phrase “Shah Mat”, which means “the king is dead”)

 

  1. Only one person in a million will live to be 116 or older. (False – one in two billion!)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

ELEVENTH _______ FOUND ON MOUNT SINAI! (COMMANDMENT)

An archaeologist has found a portion of a stone table engraved 3,000 years ago with an eleventh Commandment!

Oxford University professor Rupert Catchpole, 45, made the Earth-shattering find while heading up an excavation near the summit of the famous mountain where tradition says the Ten Commandments were given to Moses by God.

The biblical hero, famously played by Charlton Heston in the film The Ten commandments is said to have brought the list of divinely dictated rules to his people on stone tablets.

And in Exodus 32:19, when he catches the Israelites worshiping the golden calf, he’s said to have broken the tablets in frustration.

“The thing with stone is that it’s often brittle,” says Catchpole.  ”When it breaks, pieces scatter in t every direction.

“In the heat of the moment, Moses may have broken off the eleventh Commandment and either didn’t realize it, or he was just too tired to remember it when he engraved the new tablets for the Israelites after they repented. Who knows?”

The portion of stone is about 132 inches wide and 3 inches tall.  Hebrew writing is engraved across it.

“It’s clearly a part of a larger piece,” says the professor.  ”The bottom edge is smooth and bordered with a very ornate design – it’s incredible workmanship.  The top edge is jagged, so it’s easy to surmise that the piece broke off the bottom of a larger table.”

But what does the Commandment actually say?

“This is the difficult bit,” says Catchpole.  ”It appears to read, ‘Thous shalt not spend all day on the Internet.”  It seems absurd and for many years nobody knew what it meant.  But now it is clear.

God must obviously knew that the Internet was coming and that it would be challenge to man’s willpower and morale.

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

Morris bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, “Free to good home, you want it — you take it”.

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. Eventually, Morris decided that people were too untrusting of the deal, that it looked “too good to be true”.

So he changed the sign to read “Fridge for sale — $150”.

The next day someone stole it.

 

JOKE #2

Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity.

“I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained. “Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time.”

The operator giggled, “That’s really funny,” she said. “All this time we’ve been setting our clock by your whistle.

 

JOKE #3

The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious.

”Hey,” he called out to the waitress, “these particles in my soup – aren’t they foreign objects?”

She scrutinized his bowl. “No, sir!” she reassured him. “Those things live around here.”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

An auto insurance company says eating while driving is the cause of many car crashes. ***MARLAR: Especially in oriental areas where drivers are using chopsticks.

 

How is this for irony — the winner of a contest to find the most accident-prone person in an English town slipped, fell down and was badly bruised as she left her home to go to the award ceremony.  ***MARLAR: Enough already! You won the award!

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

NAIL BITER

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga.

She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. “No,” she replied, “but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

SPEED DEMON

Sometimes, even an entire city government gets what they deserve.

…take for example, Kendleton, Texas. They thought of this great way to get other people to pay for the city’s municipal budget. Beginning in 1990, the city became a 24-hour speed trap so it could collect tons of money from speeding tickets. One problem though… the city of Kendleton didn’t realize that the state of Texas has a law against that exact kind of thing. Why? Because Texas didn’t want cities to become predators which, ironically, is exactly what Kendleton, Texas became! So the town has now discovered that they owe the entire state of Texas $1.7-million in unpaid speeding ticket debts. The result is that the state has taken every last cent from their bank accounts and the city has been forced into bankruptcy.

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

FROM YOUR LIPS TO GOD’S EARS

by Joyce Williams
After 26 years of marriage, my husband said it was over and moved out of the house where we lived with our daughter. I tried to go on with my routine. Like the meeting I was supposed to attend, three hours away. I wouldn’t cancel.
“Will you take me to my friends on your way out of town?” my daughter asked. She was leaving the country on a church trip. I dropped her off and headed on to my meeting.
For the day, at least, it took my mind off things. Afterward, I got in my car, turned on the radio and started for home. I’m going to spend tonight alone. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. My house was in the woods, without a neighbor in sight.
I clutched the wheel and tried to concentrate on the song playing. Darkness was falling. The music ended and I reached to change the radio station. The announcer’s voice stopped me. “Someone out there needs to hear this,” he said. He read from Job. “You will be secure. You will take your rest in safety. You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid.”
My grip relaxed on the wheel. My anxieties floated away. By the time I drove up our tree-lined lane, it was dusk. I parked and stepped out into the night air. I unlocked the front door, went into my room and got ready for bed. I sank under the covers and slept soundly. I wasn’t afraid. I was secure. Because God was in this house.

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

SWEET COMPANY

Read: John 14:15-26

The Spirit of truth . . . dwells with you and will be in you. —John 14:17

The elderly woman in the nursing home didn’t speak to anyone or request anything. It seemed she merely existed, rocking in her creaky old chair. She didn’t have many visitors, so one young nurse would often go into her room on her breaks. Without asking the woman questions to try to get her to talk, she simply pulled up another chair and rocked with her. After several months, the elderly woman said to her, “Thank you for rocking with me.” She was grateful for the companionship.

Before He went back to heaven, Jesus promised to send a constant companion to His disciples. He told them He would not leave them alone but would send the Holy Spirit to be in them (John 14:17). That promise is still true for believers in Jesus today. Jesus said that the triune God makes His “home” in us (v.23).

The Lord is our close and faithful companion throughout our entire life. Recording artist Scott Krippayne expresses this truth in song: “In my deepest night He is the guiding star; in my sinfulness He is the forgiving heart; a willing ear for each silent prayer, a shoulder for burdens I cannot bear. Sweet company from now through all eternity.”

We can enjoy His sweet company today. —Anne Cetas

 

In my bed of thorns, He is the fragrant rose;
In my wilderness, He’s the stream that flows;
A shelter built with loving grace,
His refuge shall be my dwelling place. —Krippayne
© 2002, New Spring Publishing, Inc./Chips and Salsa Songs

 

The Christian’s heart is the Holy Spirit’s home.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

We get hot, we get cranky and many times, we squabble – sometimes over minor matters like what kind of brats we should throw on the grill for our next get together.  Now researchers have discovered that chilling out – literally, like with a cold glass of ice water – may be the key to coming around to someone else’s point of view.  A  study published in this month’s issue of the Dutch psychological journal Acta Psychologica examined the ability of temperature to influence a person’s tendency to take another’s perspective. Cooler temperatures, the study suggests, make us more vulnerable to such influences.

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

If you’re feeling bummed out, then work out!

According to a new report, exercise increases the production of a chemical in the brain that has shown to have antidepressant effects in mice. Previous studies have found that exercise can help ease depression symptoms, but the new study found that after mice had a week’s worth of workouts on a running wheel, they showed altered activity in a total of 33 genes, the majority of which had never been identified before. They say the research could lead to new methods of treating depression.  ***MARLAR: For example, if you’re depressed, tell your spouse to get out of the house and go work out.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

FASHION SENSE

Would you trust a computer to tell you if you’re dressing fashionably?  If not, don’t go shopping in Britain!

A The British company has developed a “smart” dressing room that tells clothes shoppers what not to wear. It uses 3D digital cameras in the dressing room to photograph your body and make precise measurements from more than 1,000 points. Then it suggests clothes that would be flattering for your body type. It even offers specific advice like “your bum looks too big in this,” or words to that effect. A spokesman said shoppers are free to ignore the advice if they want.  ***MARLAR: Or you can go with the cheaper version and just take your mother shopping with you.

 

 

FUN LIST

INTERESTING NAMES

  • One of the most popular soft drinks originated in Texas. Well, guess what, we have a physician in Austin, Texas whose name is the same as the soft drink’s name. She practices emergency medicine at one of the local hospitals and her name is Dr. Pepper.
  • There is a dentist named Dr. Smiley and also a plastic surgeon named Dr. Hacker. There was a doctor in town named Dr Goodenough.
  • Several years ago at the Bank in Wallowa County, Oregon, two of their employees were a Mr. Cheatum and a Mr. Steele.
  • We have a surgeon in town named Dr. Kutty.
  • In New Zealand a while ago the Minister of Mines was Mr Colman.
  • In the Philippines there is a Cardinal Sin.
  • There was an Anglican clergyman whom the authorities were reluctant to promote since he would become Canon Ball. Guess there was a real chance he would be fired!
  • A dentist in Ashburton, New Zealand was Mr Gummer.
  • In the Salvation Army in New Zealand there is (or was) a Major Major.
  • At Hinsdale Hospital in Hinsdale Illinois these doctors are on their staff . . .
  • An Orthopedic Surgeon . . . Dr. Orth.
  • A Family Practice Specialist . . . Dr. Butcher.
  • There was a ophthalmologist in Baltimore, MD named Dr. Glasser and a dentist in PA named Dr. Sugar. He had T-shirts and magnets made that said “Dr. Sugar is good for your teeth.”
  • A church pastor in Mountain View, CA is Pastor Church.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

If you’re working lots of overtime, you might want to rethink that plan, especially if you find you’re generally unhappy with life.

Men and women who regularly work more than 40 hours a week have a high risk for developing anxiety and depression, according to a new study published in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine. The rates were also higher among less-skilled workers and those with lower incomes. Specifically, the Norwegian study found that men who worked 40 hours a week or less had a 9% possible depression score.

 

 

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Mondays Only)

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

The future is now. According to Relevant Magazine, The YouTube science guru Mrwhosetheboss has posted a video, showing how with just a few household items—a CD Case, tape, and graph paper—you can turn your smartphone into a hologram projector. Thanks to a few specially-created videos to play once your small pyramid is constructed, creating the hologram illusions is actually really easy. http://relm.ag/1h2Reyo

 

CHEMISTRY STUDENTS PROTECT WOMEN FROM DATE RAPE

Want to change the world?  Start where you are.  Four college students want to use their talents in chemistry and applied sciences to help protect women against rape. According to the Good News Network, The young men from North Carolina State University are now developing a product for market called Undercover Colors. The polish when applied to finger nails will change color if it comes into contact with the most common date-rape drugs. The woman can simply stir her drink with her finger. If her nail polish changes color, she’ll know that something is wrong.  How can you use the talents and experience God has given you to make a positive impact on the world?

 

PRO-ABORTIONISTS MAY LOSE DEBATE BECAUSE THEY HAVE FEWER BABIES

Does being pro-life or pro-choice have an effect on your family life? It turns out it might – even affecting the number of children you have!

Pro-Abortionists may be defeated by believing their own rhetoric. According to a Christian Post Article, A study finds evidence that the higher fertility rates of those who are pro-life compared to those who are pro-choice contributed to Americans becoming, on average, more pro-life than they would have been if the fertility differential did not exist. Over the 34-year time span that was studied, pro-lifers had about 2.5 children on average for every two children born to pro-choicers. In addition to having more children, the children of pro-life parents appear to be more likely than the children of pro-choice parents to adopt the views of their parents.  http://bit.ly/1qpOlVj

 

At 85 years young, an Arizona great-grandmother has scaled Mount Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa and the tallest freestanding mountain in the world. Anne Lorimore completed the climb with her niece and nephew despite contracting the flu on day four of the eight-day trip in Tanzania. Officials say “We are just waiting word from Guinness to make it official that she’s the oldest woman to reach the summit.”  *** So, what’s your excuse for not doing what you want to do? http://huff.to/1JhZ8jz

 

Bad news for those of you who included “sleep more” on your list of resolutions for this year. The team behind sleep-analyzing app Sleep Cycle spent the past six months gathering real-time data from 235,616 American men and women between the ages of 18 and 55 who use the app. Their main discovery: We start strong in January with our sleep quantity, but it gets progressively worse with each month that passes. Both men and women experienced the best sleep quality in February, and went to bed earliest throughout March. June was the most sleep-deprived month measured but also ranked the highest for logged workouts for both men and women as the summer weather arrived. http://huff.to/1PqthMI

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

I want the government to legislate a flyin’ car. Preferably one that runs on mild salsa, because hey, what else is that stuff good for? –Brian Jones

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

Analyze This!

True confession. In my twenties, my first radio job barely paid me enough to buy gas to get back and forth to work and share the rent of a cheap apartment. While I knew the risks of driving without insurance, I did so for a season of time. And sure enough, I had a minor accident while uninsured. Thank God it wasn’t worse!
Several months later, I married my beloved Rhonda and our financial picture improved. Time to get my insurance squared away! We stopped in at the agency where Rhonda had her auto policy to have me added. Surprise! Not only would they not add me to any policy, they were now dropping her since she had married an insurance risk! Talk about a blow to one’s self esteem. And I didn’t get any smiles from my new bride on the way out.
Since that time, I’ve never driven without auto insurance. I’m no longer considered a risky guy. At least in that area. In fact, the company that gave us that painful rejection has made many offers over the years to have us sign up. Hmmm. I’m still thinking it over and weighing the risk factors. (Smile)
Make no mistake. I’m not questioning the right of any company to qualify their customers. Perhaps there might have been a way to work with us, however.
This brings me to a new “character” defining method being employed today, via algorithms. I learned of it in an article in the New York Times, as written by Quentin Hardy: “Using Algorithms to Determine Character.”
The story tells of a California firm that loans money. And in the course of just over a year, they have forked over $135 million to people with “mostly negligible credit ratings.” We’re talking recent college graduates without the normal credit building history.
Instead, this company, known as Upstart, chooses SAT scores, college information including majors, and grade-point averages. The quality of the chosen school factors in as well.
What I found especially interesting in the story was the way two men from different companies engaged in this analytics-based evaluation system avoided the use of the word “character.” Paul Gu, co-founder of Upstart, skips around it. And Douglas Merrill, founder and CEO of another lending company, ZestFinance, puts a qualifier on it as well.
Merrill says, “‘Character’ is a loaded term, but there is an important difference between ability to pay and willingness to pay.” Willingness is a character issue.
Some of the evaluation criteria considered is whether a person has ever given up a prepaid wireless phone number. If so, why? Were they on the run? Another firm uses analytics to predict how long an employee will stay by looking at past work behavior. Or how well a manager holds on to talent. Or a person’s tenacity.
These companies may shy away from using the word character, but it has certainly found its place of importance in business. Warren Bennis has said, “Successful leadership is not about being tough or soft, sensitive or assertive, but about a set of attributes. First and foremost is character.” Scottish minister and author John C. Geikie stated, “Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life.”
Here’s an important lesson for all of us. The quality of our character can change over time. The person you were yesterday is not the person you have to be tomorrow. Or as I heard recently, “Your history is not your destiny.” We can develop and improve our character with time.
There is One whose character does NOT change. Hebrews 13:8 says plainly, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (ESV) James 1:17 adds, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (ESV)
I wonder if there are any analytics that could measure the change in a person who comes to faith? The Bible says we become new creatures when that faith takes hold. The old has passed away. The new has come. Our character changes.
I know something else very important about God’s love. Once you’re on His plan, the policy states that you never get dropped. Whew!
That’s The Way WE Work.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

AUGUST 28, 2015…

 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend—Finally, here comes the sequel for this film that was a visual feast of color and activity.  The plot is a carefully kept secret, but at least we know that the cast includes Michelle Yeoh, Donny Wen, and Jason Scott Lee. The film will first open in IMAX and Netflix, then in regular movie theaters a week later.  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.

 

Hitman: Agent 47—The film is based on the game series and about a hitman who is part robotic. He is assigned to kill someone but begins to doubt his assignment. Stars Rupert Friend. “Hitman: Agent 47” is rated R. No rating.

 

The War Room—This film is called a Christian drama dealing with trying to keep a marriage together.  It stars Alex Kendricks who also directs.  Also in the cast are Priscilla Shirer and T. C. Stallings. “The War Room” (called because it is a special room of safety and reflection) is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

We Are Your Friends—In this film, Zac Efron plays an ambitious young man who wants to rise to the top of the music industry as an electronic music producer. Wes Bentley says he can help him, but is this true? “We Are Your Friends” is rated PG-13. No rating.

 

Regression—Emma Watson is a young woman who has lost her memory. What has happened? Something from her past? Abusive family or traumatic event? Also in the cast are Ethan Hawke and Dennis Dencik. “Regression” is rated R. No rating.

 

SEPTEMBER 02, 2015…

 

No Escape is a thriller about trying to get out of a Middle Eastern country during an uprising. Stars Owen Wilson and Pierce Brosnan.

 

Films Opening September 4

 

Jane Got A Gun  and this film was supposed to have opened in March but unexpectedly got pushed to fall. It’s a western starring Natalie Portman.

 

Kitchen Sink is a comedy horror film starring Vanessa Hudgens and about a town where vampires, humans and zombies live together.

 

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