Darren’s Daily Dose of News – April 18, 2009

darrensdailydoseofnews1Police in Agapia, Romania, were surprised to get a complaint from a monk that someone had broken into his cave and stolen $5600 worth of computer, TV and mobile phone equipment. The monk explained that even though he lives as a recluse, he likes to keep pace with society.  ***MARLAR: I can’t get a decent cell signal in my car, and this guy got internet access, cable TV, and a cell signal in his CAVE.  That right there proves the guy was tight with the Almighty.

A nasal spray made from Atlantic Ocean seawater seams to ease cold and flu symptoms faster for children.  In the twelve week test the noses of children given the seawater spray were less runny the second time they were checked.  ***MARLAR: Their noses were less runny because they were caked with salt. 

Like the Terminator, KiRo is a Teutonic robot out to destroy mankind — not with weaponry but with foosball skill. Scanning the table 50 times a second with a huge electric eye, this baby outwits puny humans with artificial intelligence and precision machinery. Although KiRo beats 85 percent of casual players, University of Freiburg roboticist Bernhard Nebel admits it “has no chance against league players — yet.” ***MARLAR: Today it’s foosball, tomorrow the world.

Vicki Armstrong of Shreveport, Louisiana has been saving her pennies for almost 19 years and is planning to cash them in this week – all 55,000 of them, totally $550.  ***MARLAR: Which she’ll no doubt need for chiropractic bills after hauling a jug of 55,000 pennies to the bank.

When Gaius Caesar was a boy, Roman soldiers affectionately nicknamed him “little boots” for the boy-sized military footwear he sported. Cute little fella. Unfortunately Gaius grew up and became emperor, incongruously retaining his boyhood diminutive. “Little boots” in Latin is “Caligula.” As you may know, he was a bloodthirsty, sadistic fiend.  ***MARLAR: If only those soldiers had doted more on his boots, perhaps he might have matured with nothing more sinister than a mild foot fetish.

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