Darren’s Daily Dose of News – April 20, 2009

darrensdailydoseofnews3Lisa Daily is the author of “Stop Getting Dumped”… a book on how women can find a husband. She says women can meet and marry the right man if they follow its step-by-step guide. In fact, she guarantees it… or she’ll refund your money if you don’t find a husband within three years. ***MARLAR; Here’s the odd thing: in the book she says women should never ask a man out on a date – yet she guarantees that you’ll be married within three years. How are you supposed to meet and marry Mr. Right if you’re not allowed to approach him to begin with? Is this one of those super-secret womanly powers that we men will just never understand? And if it is, why do you need a book?

We hear that ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ will not be renewed for a third season. Everyone inside the cast believes this to be true. BUT Fox says no decisions have been made, and that their official fall schedule won’t be announced until May 18. Guess we’ll hold any “Hasta la vista” jokes for now.  ***MARLAR: There’s a Terminator show?

We may be in economic hard times but business is booming for movie theaters! Movie admissions are up about 10 percent year-to-date, according to the National Association of Theater Owners. Box office receipts are up more than 14 percent. Five movies this year have grossed more than $100 million! This is great news for movie exhibitors.  ***MARLAR: How sad of a commentary is it that we’re spending our $13 extra bucks from the stimulus plan on “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”

The introduction of Kara DioGuardi as the fourth judge on ‘American Idol’ hasn’t gone very well apparently? According to insiders, DioGuardi is disliked by fans and her fellow judges alike. Insider says “The plan to add a fourth person backfired. Now the producers are left with a tough decision: Do they go back to the original three-judge format, or leave Kara there?” “During breaks, Simon, Randy and Paula would leave the table to talk to the crowd or get food, leaving Kara to swivel in her chair,” an eyewitness adds.  ***MARLAR: Simon says her judging is, “Uninspired and boring – the equivalent of a high school talent show judge.  Her opinions are utterly appalling.”

Jurors in Southern California are deliberating the case of the stolen ketchup. Steve Rocco is charged with misdemeanor petty theft, after authorities say he took a bottle of ketchup from the cafeteria area at Chapman University.  Rocco is an eccentric former school board trustee, who claims he was framed. He says he was just recycling the bottle. Rocco’s lawyer says there was no crime because the ketchup was worth “zero dollars and zero cents.” Prosecutors said they tried to settle the case by getting Rocco to promise to stay away from the university, but he refused. If convicted, prosecutors say they’ll likely ask for probation for Rocco.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like he’d have a great insanity defense… the guy actually wants to be around school cafeterias.

Six-year-old Natsumi Shirahige released a balloon into the sky in Japan with a note asking the finder of the balloon to write back to her and her school.  That was fifteen years ago – and the note was found on a fish that was caught 3,300 feet below the surface of the Pacific Ocean!  A fisherman found the note sitting on the sticky flatfish in his catch along with a piece of the string and red balloon.  It’s still a mystery how the note survived for so many years, or how it ended up stuck to a fish.  ***MARLAR: Why would it be such a surprise to find a fish with a note?  After all, they do have schools!

Animal researchers say that elephants may have self-awareness like humans after an elephant proved that she recognized herself in a mirror.  ***MARLAR: And immediately thought, “Dang, I’m fat!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *