Beverly Hills dermatologist Dr. Vail Reese once awarded his “Skinny Awards” for bad skin to Brad Pitt for his acne scars and Angelina Jolie for her moles, tattoos and abdominal scars. ***MARLAR: Yeah, we’d all hate to look like those two hideous freaks, wouldn’t we?!?
Rev. Marcus Ramshaw of St. Edward King & Martyr Church in Cambridge, England, has a new idea for attracting young parishioners: Goth Eucharist services. The candlelit services have a specially-written liturgy, music by bands such as Joy Division and Depeche Mode, and the worshipers look as if they’re attending a showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Rev. Ramshaw, a Goth himself, said that Goths tend to focus on bad things and think that life is hopeless, but the service helps them know that “God is still there for you.” ***MARLAR: God is there for you, but to be sure He’ll recognize you, you might want to change your clothes and wash that goop off your face.
If you’re feeling bummed out, you might want to try working out. A recent study found that just 30 minutes of brisk walking immediately boosted the mood of depressed patients and gave them the same quick boost they might otherwise have sought from cigarettes, caffeine or binge eating. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that depressed people who walked for 30 minutes reported feeling more vigorous and had a greater sense of psychological well-being. ***MARLAR: Conversely, it also helps you feel good to tell people who are annoying you to take a hike.
Hawaiian Rep. Blake Oshiro discovered that the “state fish” designation for the humuhumunukunukuapuaa fish ran out years ago, and he’s proposing a bill to reinstate it permanently. ***MARLAR: However, grade school Spelling Bee contestants are lobbying for the carp.
The St. Louis, Missouri, Board of Aldermen passed an ordinance that, if signed by the mayor, will allow police to seize the cars of people who blast loud music in residential areas. It also bans having any car speaker over a foot in diameter, more than one 10-inch speaker, more than 10 speakers total, more than two amplifiers or any amp over 300 watts. One dissenting alderman called it “almost idiotic” to impound a car for loud music.” ***MARLAR: But nobody could hear him over all of the noise.
A University of California researcher said that licorice root may be better at fighting tooth decay than toothpaste. ***MARLAR: So instead of brushing, just buy some licorice Jelly Bellys.
An international survey by Harlequin Romances found that women say the most attractive trait in a man is a sense of humor. ***MARLAR: On newsstands now – People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” is Larry the Cable Guy.