In an attempt to curb child obesity, a West Virginia school district is implementing the interactive dancing video game “Dance, Dance Revolution.” ***MARLAR: This is a much better idea than what they did back in the 1980’s with FROGGER.
An Ohio woman accidentally used her daughter’s car-key to unlock and drive a car that turned out to belong to someone else. The woman didn’t realize it was the wrong gray Toyota Camry until her daughter saw the car the next day. Upon discovering the error, the family called the real owner and gave the car back with no charges being filed against them. ***MARLAR: The only way someone could accidentally take my car is if they also eat 90% of their meals in the Wendy’s drive-thru and use the floorboard as a trash can.
Members of the Waukegan, Ill., city council are demanding an apology from whoever put a joke memo in the pay envelopes of municipal workers. The memo demanded two weeks’ notice in case of death, and called for the firing of any worker who undergoes surgery since it would “make you less than we bargained for.” ***MARLAR: Maybe the city council should legislate a sense of humor.
In Tampa, Florida, police arrested Angelica Rene Ayala after she PUNCHED A POLICE HORSE IN THE NECK! According to an arrest report, police were trying to clear a crowd outside a club at the time of the incident. Angelica is now facing a misdemeanor charge of striking a police animal. Fortunately the horse, named Buddy, is okay. ***MARLAR: And when asked if the horse could testify in court, the judge said, “Nay.”
A substitute teacher in Peabody, Massachusetts, has been banned from the city’s schools for telling students that “Hitler is cool.” The teacher told administrators that he meant that Adolf Hitler was dead so his body is cold. ***MARLAR: He also taught math and insisted the answer was always “Nein!”
A new study says we tend to spend more money if we go shopping when we’re sad. ***MARLAR: That’s not good. I usually get depressed halfway through my shopping when I realize I can’t afford it. No wonder I’m sad and broke.
According to a new survey, nearly a quarter of British men and women said they would give up chocolate for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV. ***MARLAR: That’s a tough one, because the only time I eat chocolate is when I’m watching TV.