Darren’s Daily Dose of News – May 19, 2009

darrensdailydoseofnews12Two Macedonian men are accused of stealing two 30-foot bridges to sell for scrap metal.  ***MARLAR: They will be taken to jail, as soon as police figure out how to get them there.

In Parker City, Indiana, Jerry Morgan was shocked to see that the front windows of his neighbor’s house were shattered and there was blood all over the walls. Fearing the absolute worst he dialed 911. Police arrived only to find that no murders had occurred but that the culprit was a scared female deer, still stuck in the house. Police were able to get the deer out, but not before it destroyed ever single room.  Homeowner Monte Jeffery said his insurance company told him they don’t cover deer damage.  ***MARLAR: They might want to remember that when they send their next letter to Santa.  DON’T LAND ON THE HOUSE – IT’S NOT INSURED AGAINST REINDEER!

In Holland, Michigan, Scott Rodgers was fined $600, given probation and three days in a work program and banned from McDonald’s for misdemeanor assault and battery after he threw an Egg McMuffin at a McDonald’s manager. He had ordered four of them with ham, but one had sausage. His attorney claimed he didn’t throw it but rather returned it quickly. But the prosecutor said, “The manager was picking egg out of her hair.”  ***MARLAR: Hey, look – an Egg McMullet!

Georgianna Page is suing New York City for violating her civil rights by arresting her during a Republican gathering, when she was protesting the war by wearing a huge, cardboard Hummer costume. She was arrested for blocking traffic, but Page claims she never left the sidewalk.  ***MARLAR: So they charged her with double parking instead.

A woman in Manchester, England, dumped her fiancé six weeks before the wedding, then found another man to marry on the Internet so she wouldn’t lose her $14,000 wedding deposit.  ***MARLAR: How sad is that!  This woman came to the conclusion that husbands are returnable; wedding deposits aren’t.

A Wisconsin man was arrested for stealing 19 containers of deodorant! He said he had a good reason for it, too. And no it had nothing to do with body odor! He told the police that the next day was his birthday and he planned on selling the deodorant to buy stuff for his birthday party. ***MARLAR: Really?  And what’s the black market value of Ban Roll On?

A study sponsored by Travelodge found that 60% of workers sleep lousy on Sunday night.  ***MARLAR: Because they know they have to get up on Monday morning!

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