Darren’s Daily Dose of News – May 20, 2009

darrensdailydoseofnews12David and Carol Gulyas are serious about saving energy. They’re putting the finishing touches on a new $350,000 home in southern Indiana. They say their home is so super-efficient, their energy bills should run just 650 bucks. And that’s for the entire year. One of their secrets is foam insulation on the walls that is more than 10 inches thick. The sun provides much of the heating and lighting. If the sun’s not shinning, the couple says they can heat their home with the equivalent of a hair dryer.  ***MARLAR: They’ve also found it helpful to plug in and drain power for the neighbors. 

A Chicago police dog named Bear who is apparently a scaredy cat when it comes to thunder is back home after going AWOL during a storm.  Authorities say Bear, who went missing several days ago, was found safe, but dirty, Sunday morning by a man walking to a hardware store.  The man says he saw the dog at a cemetery and flagged down Officer Ann Jaros, who says Bear recognized her squad car and “jumped right in.”  A microchip in the dog’s neck confirmed it was Bear.  The black and tan German shepherd scaled a wooden fence and disappeared Wednesday night after roaring thunder apparently frightened him.  He was in the yard of Officer Rick King’s home at the time. King says he’s slept little since Bear’s disappearance, hoping the dog was OK.  King has said Bear’s always been afraid of thunder.  ***MARLAR: What kind of a lame police officer is scared of thunder?  “To protect and to serve… unless there’s a big bad noise?”

Talk about undying love! Scott Amsler and Miranda Patterson intend to get hitched in a cemetery. Come September, the couple plans to tie the knot in the city cemetery in the St. Louis suburb of Pacific. But Pacific Alderman Bill Hohman is against any more graveyard weddings. He says he’ll push for an ordinance to block cemetery weddings. Groom-to-be Amsler insists he’s no devil worshiper or cultist. But the computer guy for a financial company restores old hearses for fun. Of course, the couple will be riding in a hearse on their wedding day. ***MARLAR: If you’re going to vow “Till death do us part” anyway…

Airline pilot Raymond Snouffer Junior has all the luck. He won 25-grand in the Minnesota Lottery two days in a row. One day he matched the winning numbers in the Northstar Cash drawing. The next day, he did it again. Figuring the odds of being a double winner would give a mathematician a migraine. Minnesota Lottery officials say the odds of winning a single drawing are about 170-thousand-to-one. As for winning twice in a row, lottery officials say the probability is virtually incalculable.  ***MARLAR: Also incalculable, the number of friends and relatives this guy will suddenly find out he has that he never knew about.

It’s a guaranteed gross-out. The Maryland Science Center in Baltimore has a new exhibit titled “Grossology: The Impolite Science of the Human Body.” It’s all about those things you might have been too embarrassed to ask your science teacher. Among other things, visitors get to walk through a giant nose and see how boogers are formed. The Science Center even has gross cell phone ringtones for downloading on its Web site.  ***MARLAR: You can give one to a friend as a gift and say, “I picked this one just for you!”

Doctors in India removed a toothbrush from a man’s stomach a week after he accidentally swallowed it. The man says he swallowed it while brushing his teeth in front of the TV. ***MARLAR: His toothbrush was easier to swallow than the storyline of “LOST.”

Lasers beamed from space have discovered that there are massive flowing lakes of water underneath all that ice in Antarctica.  ***MARLAR: These are giant laser beams aimed at the South Pole – and they’re blaming global warming for melting glaciers?!?!

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