Darren’s Daily Dose of News – May 21, 2009

darrensdailydoseofnews12A four-year-old boy in Hong Kong escaped unscathed after falling from a fifth floor window. The youngster crawled out of the window at his home and hit awnings as he plummeted towards the ground. The awnings bounced him away from the side of the building and into the back of a parked truck filled with a load of cushions. The driver found the boy lying spread-eagle on top of the cushions and only discovered he had fallen from a fifth floor apartment when he set out to search for his family.  ***MARLAR: Baby’s got bounce.

Japanese police report they’ve busted a cat burglar with the nose of a bloodhound. According to a police spokesman, the man (Seiichi Shirota) told them he picked his victims by sniffing for expensive perfume. The accused thief figured a single woman who bought high-priced fragrances would also own designer handbags, watches and expensive jewelry. And how would the crook know whether his mark was single? Police say the man told them he would check clotheslines on apartment balconies for men’s underwear. The suspect is charged with about 200 break-ins, netting more than a half (m) million dollars worth of loot.   ***MARLAR: We’re talking about a man who has the ability to distinguish designer perfumes from the knockoffs… can he not find something better to do with his life than rob single women?  With a talent like that, shouldn’t he be working for the Scratch & Sniff people?

According to a new report by the U.S. Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, Americans will spend one out of every five dollars of their income on heath care by 2015.  ***MARLAR: Probably because Americans will spend the other four out of every five dollars on beer, cigarettes and junk food.

Getting a nip and a tuck could cost some extra bucks in Minnesota. State lawmakers are considering a proposal to tax tummy tucks and facelifts. The measure would extend Minnesota’s six-point-five percent sales tax to cosmetic surgery and other appearance-enhancing procedures. State Representative Phyllis Kahn is pushing the idea. She says anyone who can afford plastic surgery can afford to pay the tax. Now, New Jersey is the only state that taxes cosmetic surgery.  ***MARLAR: That would require stretching your skin AND your wallet.  I don’t think I’m that limber.

Ken Andexler is a sculptor with a mission. All the chunks of pipe, sheet metal and plastic in his creations are junk he’s picked up from the side of the road. The southwest Florida artist says his one-man clean-up campaign is his contribution to society. He’s picked up everything from saws to cell phones to incorporate in his artwork. Andexler notes road debris is not only ugly, it’s dangerous, too. He adds something spiritual has been happening to him, since he started picking up trash for art.  ***MARLAR: This doesn’t take a lot of imagination; most modern art is garbage anyway.

Humans aren’t the only species on earth with drug problems.  In Australia veterinarians are reporting a rise in the number of dogs getting high by licking the toxin from the backs of cane toads.  ***MARLAR: One pet owner suspected his dog might be on something last year when the dog hit 70 home runs.

According to a new study by the American Library Association, more than nine out of 10 adults surveyed believe that libraries will remain necessary in the future despite the rise of the Internet.  ***MARLAR: Oh c’mon… it’s a poll done by the American Library Association!  Of COURSE their survey is going to favor libraries; that’s where they found the people to take the survey!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *