Darren’s Daily Dose of News – May 7, 2009

darrensdailydoseofnews12Swine flu is changing the way some Christians worship.  New Hampshire’s Roman Catholic Diocese is telling priests to offer Communion without wine and place wafers in parishioner’s hands instead of in their mouths.  The church is also suggesting the tradition of greeting each other should become less germ-friendly. It suggests nodding in place of shaking hands or kissing.  Not so at St. John the Baptist Church in New York, where parishioners said they had no problem sipping from a communal cup.  In the Philippines, Roman Catholic churches are offering special prayers for swine flu victims. Church leaders are praying that officials “find cure and solution to this disease.”  ***MARLAR: Churches are really taking this seriously.  Over the weekend my church changed over the tissues in the pews to Lysol Disinfectant Wipes. 

KFC is still fried only in Memphis. The Colonel has rolled out a grilled chicken alternative across the nation. But you won’t find it in the Tennessee city. The Commercial-Appeal newspaper reports the 21 Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets in Memphis aren’t serving the new menu item. Franchise managers say the addition of the grills would have cost thousands of dollars.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like they’ve got hard heads to go along with those hardened arteries. 

Color the NYPD blue — green. New York’s finest are getting 40 new hybrid cruisers. The Nissan Altima hybrids were rolled out yesterday at New York Police Department headquarters in lower Manhattan. They’re the first gas-electric hybrids to be used on patrol by the nation’s largest police department. Police officials say the new cars will get about twice the miles-per-gallon as their old cruisers.  ***MARLAR: And because it’s partially electric, they can use the cars to recharge their tazers.  

Researchers have figured out something most pet owners suspected: dogs and cats don’t dance, but birds do.  They say they’ve documented for the first time that some animals “dance” to a musical beat. The researchers made a series of lab and video studies, watching various animals for signs they were actually feeling the beat of music they heard.  They concluded that some parrots do boogie, and so does the occasional elephant. But there’s no sign of such musicality among dogs and cats, despite long exposure to people and music. And chimps, our closest living relatives, also appear to lack rhythm.  The findings are published by the journal Current Biology online.  ***MARLAR: Unfortunately, the only dance parrots can do is “The Bird.”

Police in northwestern Pennsylvania say a burglar took some jellybeans from a home – but nothing else.  Police said Thursday that they are stumped by the burglary in North East Township.  Sgt. Mark Zaleski says it remains unclear whether the suspect wanted only jellybeans. Or maybe that’s all the thief had time to grab.  Police say the burglar broke a front door window Friday night and took the jellybeans from a dining room table. The homeowner reported that nothing else was missing or even moved.  ***MARLAR: Here’s my theory.  The kid who lives in the house was playing baseball, knocked a hole in the glass door, and stole the jelly beans to cover his crime.  Just check under the kid’s bed.

Here’s an idea American men could take from the men of Japan. A men’s group called the “Japan Doting Husbands Association” is trying to get workaholic Japanese men to give their wives some attention. They even started a website where husbands can write apologies to their wives. One wrote, “I’m sorry I had a car accident. I’m sorry I’m away so much on business trips. I’m sorry I end up sleeping at the office so often.” They also proclaimed one day last week as “Beloved Wives Day” and urged men to thank their wives and get home from work by 8 p.m. ***MARLAR: Those husbands that spent the least amount of time at home wrote things like, “I’m sorry I can’t remember your name.”

British scientists say they have created human embryos containing DNA from two women and a man in a procedure that researchers hope might be used one day to produce embryos free of inherited diseases. ***MARLAR: The downside is that for the child Mother’s Day shopping is twice as expensive.

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