Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

Irate citizens in Pembrey, England have been calling the police trying to stop a thief who has been holding up passers-by with a gun. The gun-toting criminal waves his gun and tells people they can’t pass until they give him money or candy. That’s right, candy. You see the gun-toting thief is a three-year-old with a plastic gun. Robbie Rees really has been terrorizing his neighborhood for pennies and candy and the neighbors really aren’t happy! The child started patrolling the street around his home, stopping cars and pedestrians and only letting them pass when they handed over a sweet. His hold-ups are so successful that he comes home with his pockets bulging with candy.  ***MARLAR: We need to stick this kid in front of Wal-Mart with a bucket and a bell.

Two New York men were locked up and left in a jail cell for nearly a week after police officers mistook their candy for a bag of crack.  The “drugs” were finally tested five days later and determined to be popular Coco (coconut) Candy. The charges were dropped.  ***MARLAR: And now after a week behind bars, the two men have gone through detox and are no longer addicted to coconut candy.

Burger King is opening a restaurant in Miami Beach that will serve beer along with burgers and fries, the chain’s first U.S. location with alcohol.  At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo will run $7.99.  The restaurant will offer outdoor dining, a walk-up window and delivery service.  ***MARLAR: You can still have it your way… you just can’t have it your way in the drive-thru.

Researchers have discovered that monkeys who experience increased hormonal reactions to stress while infants are more likely to consume large amounts of alcohol as they reach adulthood. They also found that male monkeys drank more than females, and those raised without adult contact drank more than those raised with their mothers.  ***MARLAR: They’re now doing a follow-up study to determine where the monkeys are buying the booze.

There’s such a worldwide shortage of trained butlers that a good one can now command up to $500,000 a year.  ***MARLAR: I wanted to find out how to become a butler, so I went to “Ask Jeeves,” but Jeeves wanted too much money for an answer.Da

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