UPS driver Jeff Hornagold has made one last run in the big, brown truck — to the great beyond. The suburban Chicago man died of lung cancer. So, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan delivered his buddy’s body to the funeral in their UPS truck. Judy Hornagold says her late husband was “just the happiest UPS man alive.” She says the final delivery is the perfect tribute. ***MARLAR: They refuse to bury him though until someone signs for him.
Boulder, Colorado authorities locked down a Lafayette charter school while they examined a duffel bag left at the campus parking lot that ended up containing a Kermit the Frog doll. Boulder County’s bomb squad responded to the Peak to Peak Charter School after an employee there called at about 7:15 a.m. Wednesday to report the unattended bag. Authorities used a robot with movable arms and a camera to investigate the bag and then an officer inspected it to make sure it was safe. Authorities cleared the scene at about 10 a.m. Students and staff were locked down until then in a campus building. ***MARLAR: The thought of it possibly being a bomb was reinforced by the fact that Fozzy Bear was nearby telling jokes.
An Alaska man who hit a Taco Bell manager in the face with a double-decker taco has been sentenced to one day in jail and one year probation. Warren Strickland of Fairbanks must also pay a $100 fine after pleading guilty Tuesday to disorderly conduct. ***MARLAR: It could’ve been worse. Had he tossed a chalupa he’d have been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
According to the Associated Press, more than three quarters of obese Americans say they have healthy eating habits – with 40% of obese people saying they do “vigorous” exercise regularly. ***MARLAR: If, by “vigorous” they mean jumping off the couch once an hour to visit the kitchen and the bathroom, then I exercise daily.
The golf term “fore” was shortened from the old military term, “ware before.” This command was shouted to the front line to kneel so the second line could fire. ***MARLAR: It caught on after one poor soldier didn’t heed the warning and spent the rest of his military career with the nickname, “Earless Jackson.”