Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

Paramedics in the Netherlands are fighting traffic and high gas prices by using bikes. Three bikes have been equipped with baggage racks full of first aid supplies including medicines, defibrillators, and even oxygen tanks.  The only thing the bikes don’t carry is a stretcher.  ***MARLAR: So if a trip to the hospital is required you have to sit in the basket.

An animal rights group wants organizers of Pennsylvania’s Groundhog Day festival to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robotic stand-in.  People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says it’s unfair to keep the animal in captivity and subject him to the huge crowds and bright lights that accompany tens of thousands of revelers each Feb. 2 in Punxsutawney, a tiny borough about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.  ***MARLAR: The rest of us think it’s unfair to keep us captive to PETA’s obtuse opinions.

Federal officials want to keep Burmese pythons and eight other kinds of large snakes out of the country, saying they threaten the environment.  Interior Secretary Ken Salazar says the snakes escape or are released into the wild, where they threaten sensitive ecosystems like Florida’s Everglades.  ***MARLAR: Samuel L. Jackson was unavailable for comment.

A Swedish study suggests that putting fertilizer in forests can slow the greenhouse effect.  ***MARLAR: And since animals live and do their business in the woods anyway, we should have nothing to worry about!  WE’RE SAVED!

A British company has developed a bacteria-retarding line of underwear that you can wear for days without having to wash.  ***MARLAR: Impressive… although you have to wonder why scientists would feel an invention of this type would even be necessary.  Is there a huge underwear shortage in Britain that I’ve not heard about?

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