Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

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An Appleton, Wisconsin woman who tried to extort money from The Seasons restaurant by putting a rat in her lunch has entered no-contest pleas to two criminal charges. Debbie R. Miller planted the rat at The Seasons on April 17, 2008, and then demanded $500,000 from the owners. She threatened to alert the media, but instead of paying, the owners turned the rat over to investigators for their insurance company. They determined it was a domestic rat that had been cooked in a microwave, and the restaurant doesn’t use microwaves.  ***MARLAR: Which is too bad because micro-rat is very tasty.

Alexandria police said man stopped for riding his bicycle at night without a headlight was carrying a weapon made from a butcher knife attached to a pool cue. They said the 51-year-old man also had a razor blade in his hat.  ***MARLAR: Apparently his mother never gave him the “don’t run with scissors” speech.

The banged-up US Airways plane that Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger deftly landed on the Hudson River a year ago after a flock of geese disabled its engines is being auctioned off.  Insurance firm Chartis, which is holding the online auction, describes the Airbus A320, minus its two engines, as having severe water damage throughout the airframe and impact damage to its underside.  Bidding on the plane, being held on a lot in Kearny, N.J., continues until March 27.  ***MARLAR: I understand the engine has a tendency to flood.

Authorities in Kalamazoo, Michigan, say they only had to look in the trash to catch a gun-toting suspect.  The city’s public safety department says officers were told a man was reportedly walking around with a gun on the street. Police say the man fled when they arrived, and a police dog helped them find the guy hiding in a garbage-filled curbside trash can. The gun that officials think he was carrying was found in another trash can nearby. The man was arrested on felony gun charges and a misdemeanor resisting arrest charge.  ***MARLAR: They found him right where he should be… in the garbage.

The bride wore a white veil, a red garter and black diving gear. The groom also wore a wet suit, accessorized with a red bow tie. Brian Wilson and Christina Gunn got married in a ceremony held 20 feet under the surface of the Illinois River in Southern Oregon. The vows were written in pencil on a white slate.  The bride says the pastor asked them if they took each other to be man and wife, they held up their cards that said “I do,” and then they took off their regulators and kissed. She says she cried. ***MARLAR: Although we have to take her word for it.

One German family has a new ride that makes folks in Hummers look like VW Bugs! For some reason, Joachim Schoeneich bought himself a six-ton tank to use for shopping and day trips. He even fitted the British-built Fox tank with a baby seat for his two-year-old son Paul. The tank is armed with a disabled 30mm gun and has three-inch thick armor plating. Of course the downside is gas mileage as the tank struggles to get five miles per gallon. But Joachim says, “But the driving experience makes up for it!”  ***MARLAR: And it doesn’t matter who gets to the stop sign first, if you’re in a tank YOU get the right of way.

Bought any Girl Scout cookies yet this year? Addicted to the Shortbread, Somoas, or the Caramel Delights?  Some folks are so addicted to them; they buy them even if they have no money to buy them. Could you imagine giving a Girl Scout a check that you knew was going to bounce? Get this, the Girls Scouts council that serves the San Diego-Imperial County region of Southern California lost $20,000 one year on bad checks. Now, anyone who bounces a check for more than $100 can expect to hear from county prosecutors.  ***MARLAR: If you’re so addicted to cookies that you’re willing to write a rubber check to get them, you need to check yourself into rehab… or a rubber room.

A man in Graz, Austria who claimed he was Superman and could fly was hospitalized after leaping from a fourth-floor window, authorities said. ***MARLAR: That’s a really stupid, delusional thing to do, because, as everybody knows, I’m Superman.

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