Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

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An East Tennessee man told police that a woman in a vehicle in front of his jumped on his hood and kicked and punched his windshield as he waited for a traffic light to change. The man, John P. Williamson, 37, said the incident was unprovoked. According to The Daily Times of Maryville, police quoted the woman as saying she was being followed.  ***MARLAR: Oh yeah, I’m sure kicking and punching your so-called stalkers car is going to get them to back off of following you.

East Tennessee police said a Knoxville woman who was later arrested for cocaine possession initially told an officer that she had been eating a powdered doughnut. The Maryville Daily Times reported that a 21-year-old woman was arrested on Thursday and charged with possession of a Schedule II substance with intent to sell or deliver. She was also cited for driving on a suspended driver’s license, driving without proof of insurance, failure to maintain her lane of traffic and possession of drug paraphernalia.  According to an Alcoa police report, a field test on the substance indicated that the white powder she put in her mouth as an officer approached the car was cocaine, not a sugary pastry.  ***MARLAR: How can anyone expect to fool a police officer when it comes to doughnuts?

A food fight in Brownsville, Texas has led to a cafe owner facing an aggravated assault charge over a customer allegedly whacked on the head with plate. Police said Maria Del Rayo Cordero was accused of tossing a tray of food and tea at the customer who had complained he ordered a chicken dish, but was served beef. Police said the owner is accused of grabbing a plate and striking the man. ***MARLAR: The owner took the chicken way out to deal with a customer who had a beef with him.

Yes, Michael Wax stank. He’s the first to admit it. The 440-pound man said he was playing poker in an Atlantic City casino for 17 hours and didn’t have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn’t deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave. The 54-year-old limousine company owner, who says he’s a frequent gambler at the Borgata, said a poker room manager followed him into the restroom and informed him that patrons at his table were complaining about his body odor. When the man tried to retake his seat at the table, he said a manager told him to leave. He said he asked for a free room to freshen up, and the casino refused. He promptly filed a complaint with the Casino Control Commission. A commission spokesman says the complaint will be reviewed. A spokesman for the Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa, says it’s company policy not to comment on matters involving customers.  ***MARLAR: It’s pretty bad when you actually SMELL like a dead man’s hand.

A New York mother took her two children to the “Sesame Street” theme park Sesame Place in Langhorne, Pennsylvania – and left with three. Takia Mann, 21, gave birth to baby Jayda in a restroom shortly after arriving. The baby came nearly two months early. A Sesame Place emergency medical technician examined mom and baby before taking them to a local hospital.  Sesame Place characters Elmo and Abby Cadabby stopped by to visit the family. They were given free season passes for the rest of this season and next.  ***MARLAR: And during the birth, The Count was declaring, “One… one little newborn baby!”  (Thunder clap.)  “TWO!  Two little newborn babies!  Ha, ha, ha…!!”

Police in College Hill, Ohio, arrested a man for stealing 32 deodorant products from a Walgreens.  Cops say Martin Steve Johnson entered the drug store Monday and transferred 18 sticks of Degree deodorant, 10 sticks of Axe deodorant and five bottles of Axe body spray from his shopping basket to his book bag before walking off. Officers caught up with Johnson behind a Chili’s restaurant and arrested him.  ***MARLAR: They just followed his body odor.

Federal authorities have busted up a Colorado drug ring that smuggled its methamphetamine in Elmo dolls.  ***MARLAR: Makes you wonder if the tickling may NOT have been the reason for Elmo’s uncontrollable laughter.

A study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that having overweight friends and relatives increases your risk of obesity.  Having an overweight friend, sibling or spouse may make you feel less heavy in comparison, so you aren’t as conscious about eating more or exercising less.  ***MARLAR: The moral of the story?  Don’t consider me your friend.

A researcher in Norway is feeding prisoners a diet heavy on fish to see if it reduces crime.  ***MARLAR: He may be on to something.  Commit another crime and you will be sent back to the place where you get nothing to eat but fish.

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