Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

The Kingsport Times-News cites a report from the Sullivan County Sheriff’s Office in reporting 34-year-old James M. Denoon and 18-year-old Anthony Stout were found hiding under a truck at the bakery late Friday night.  The deputies found about $300 worth of stolen snack cakes stacked on the ground nearby.  Finding the accused thieves was easy: The deputies only had to follow their footprints. There was more than an inch of snow on the ground by Friday night.  ***MARLAR: Police said the theft was a real Zinger.

Memphis police said a security officer at a downtown mall found a man in the mall’s fountain, stealing coins. The man, 47, was charged with stealing about $33 from the fountain at Peabody Place. He was jailed on $100 bond.  According to The Commercial Appeal, the money was returned to the fountain.  ***MARLAR: Apparently the man was lonely and wanted a bunch of women to immediately fall in love with him.  (Anyone here seen the movie “Leap Year?”)

The mother of a 6-year-old whose mouth was taped shut by a school secretary is suing the school system.  An elementary school secretary, Jennifer Carter, pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor child abuse charge after the October incident. Carter taped the unruly child’s hands and mouth with masking tape.  ***MARLAR: Tape over the mouth is child abuse?  I could sue my parents for millions.

A grandmother in Marathon, Florida, was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a grocery store with her 3-year-old granddaughter sitting on the roof of the car. The 54-year-old woman told police she was letting the child have fun and that she was driving at “snail-speed” and holding the child’s leg. She faces charges of child abuse. The child is back with her mother.  ***MARLAR: Even more startling – it was found that the little old lady was from Pasadena.

A new survey finds that nearly half of all Americans gain weight on the job.  According to the workers, it’s hard to eat healthy and exercise when you’re working hard.  ***MARLAR: Or if you work for Little Debbie.

In a previous news story we mentioned how employees find it hard to eat healthy on the job.  Here are a few tips to battle the problem.   Walk down the hall to speak with co-workers instead of using the phone or email, use the lunch hour to take a walk, pack your own lo-fat lunch, and finally, sip bottled water through the day because you’ll feel fuller.  ***MARLAR: Just be prepared to tell your boss why you’re spending so much time going tinkle.

Capsaicin, the same ingredient that puts the burn in hot sauces appears to be a wrinkle remedy. Blair Lazar, the maker of the line of Blair’s Death Sauces, swears by it. He’s developed a new skin cream called Biocap.  ***MARLAR: How many women are going to be fine with putting on a skin cream made by a company named, “Death Sauces?”

Animal researchers say that elephants may have self-awareness like humans after an elephant proved that she recognized herself in a mirror.  ***MARLAR: And immediately thought, “Dang, I’m fat!”

A German university hospital is doing a study to see if a high-fat diet prevents cancer.  ***MARLAR: Please, oh please, oh please…

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