Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

If patients visiting the emergency room of Oakwood Hospital in Dearborn, Michigan, don’t see a doctor in thirty minutes a policy stipulates that they will receive an apology and free movie passes.  ***MARLAR: This seems like a pretty good deal to me considering it’s cheaper nowadays to go to the emergency room than a movie theatre.

According to a recent study, men have to work harder deciphering what women are saying because they use the auditory part of the brain that processes music, not human voices. It’s not the pitch of the woman’s voice, but rather the vibration and number of sound waves that cause the problem.  ***MARLAR: At least I think that’s what my wife told me… I wasn’t really listening.

It looks like 2009 was a bad year for men’s underwear. The sales of men’s skivvies dropped 2.3 percent from 2008. Meanwhile. Nobody knows for sure why sales are down but it could be because buying underwear is not top of mind with most men and with a bad economy, underwear is way down on the list.  ***MARLAR: Especially when you have the option of wearing two or three old pairs of underwear to make one good pair.  Take THAT you stinkin’ economy!

In Groveport, Ohio, 80-year-old Ralph Needs was tied up and pistol-whipped when at least three intruders broke into his home on September 20th. So Ralph thought it was high time he learned to protect himself and signed up to take a self-defense and gun safety course. That didn’t go so well as during a safety lesson, Ralph was shot in the hand by a 9 mm pistol as one of his sons was loading it. Groveport police say it was an accident, so there will be no charges. Now Ralph will spend the next week in a hospital recovering from his gunshot wounds.  ***MARLAR: Of course, now he also gets to learn triage, so it all works out.

In Norwell, Massachusetts, 31-year-old Jared Garfagna and his girlfriend, 24-year-old Sara Mohn, were arrested after they assaulted a KFC worker over the slowness of their order. The victim had asked the couple to stop yelling profanities for the sake of children who were in line. That set them off and Jared allegedly punched the man in the head, and Sara allegedly kicked him. Both are now facing assault and battery charges.  ***MARLAR: The good news is that the local prison’s fried chicken is supposed to be excellent.

A study from Manchester Metropolitan University found there is more bacteria on your cell phone than on a door handle, a shoe sole or even a toilet seat!   ***MARLAR: You can easily clean your cell phone by wiping it on a toilet seat.

The latest auto trend is women over 60 rewarding themselves for raising kids and grandchildren by buying hot convertible sports cars.  ***MARLAR: So if you see a Corvette ragtop going 30 mph with its blinker on, you’ll know why.

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