Paul Hornsby found his pet cat that had been lost for a week when he opened up his coins-to-play pool table to take out the cash. Crunchie the cat apparently had crawled into a hole and couldn’t get back out. ***MARLAR: Crunchie still has nine lives, but now she’s terrified of the nine ball.
In the United Kingdom, a blind man has been convicted of dangerous driving after police spotted his car on the wrong side of the road. Omed Aziz was apparently being guided by someone who was in the passenger seat, because that individual had lost their license. Aziz is also partially deaf and suffers from leg tremors. ***MARLAR: Wait a minute. Mr. Aziz was driving because the other guy lost his license? So a blind guy in the U.K. CAN have a driver’s license?!?!
So you find yourself a student at Texas A&M University and you fail three classes. So, do you a) Make a personal pact to study harder b) Transfer to a less challenging school or c) Sue the university? Student Jennifer Temple opted for the latter and is now suing her former university claiming that an academic counselor recommended that she intentionally fail three classes. Temple says she wanted to drop the classes but her student adviser told her that she would lose her parents’ health benefits if she did. And she claims the counselor told her she should fail the classes because of an A&M rule allowing freshmen to exclude as many as three grades of D, F or U (unsatisfactory) from their transcripts. So, taking the advisor’s advice, she quit attending classes thinking she could exercise the grade exclusion policy. But when she went to transfer to another school, she found that other colleges, like the University of Texas, would not accept the grade exclusions and she was rejected “because of the two F’s and one D on her transcript. So she’s suing to have her transcript changed and her legal fees paid for, and hopefully a change in the policy at A&M. ***MARLAR: Or how about you just study for your classes? “How can failing my classes be MY fault?!?!”
The Japanese company Fujitaka has invented a cigarette machine that determines if you’re over the legal smoking age of 20 by figuring out your age from your face. Buyers have to look into a digital camera, and the machine counts their facial sags and eye wrinkles, examines their bone structure, and compares them to data from over 100,000 people to identify their age. The makers say it will stop minors from using fake IDs to buy cigarettes, and it will be convenient for adult smokers who won’t have to prove they’re over 20 anymore. ***MARLAR: The problem though is that if you smoke you’ll already have wrinkles and sagging skin by age 15.
“Stop the Violence”, a play about conflict resolution and the consequences of fighting, has been cancelled in Port Arthur, Texas after fighting broke out at one of the performances. ***MARLAR: What – like you need a kicker comment for this story?!?!
Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. ***MARLAR: So, if a person with A-Positive blood sheds the blood of a man with A-Negative blood, and that same victim sheds the blood of the A-Positive man, has blood actually been shed?
Since housecats are clean and their coats are dry and glossy, their fur easily becomes charged with electricity. Sparks can be seen if their fur is rubbed in the dark. ***MARLAR: No wonder they hate water… they’re afraid of electrocution!