Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

A bumbling bandit in Brazil was busted outside the bank he had just held up while telephoning for a getaway cab. Cops say the guy stuck up a teller at gun point, and then realized he didn’t have a getaway car. They found him at a payphone next to the bank.  ***MARLAR: To make matters worse, he dialed zero to make a collect call instead of 1-800-COLLECT.

Snails produce a colorless, sticky discharge that forms a protective carpet under them as they travel along. The discharge is so effective that snails can crawl along the edge of a razor without cutting themselves.  ***MARLAR: And they supply their own shaving gel!

A man accused of using weapons hidden in a diaper bag to terrorize airline passengers while hijacking their plane and diverting it to Cuba in 1968 faces a courthouse arraignment this week after being arrested at an airport. Longtime fugitive Luis Armando Pena Soltren was arrested last Sunday after arriving at John F. Kennedy International Airport on a flight from Cuba, federal authorities said. He was wanted for his role in the Nov. 24, 1968, hijacking of a Pan Am flight bound from New York to Puerto Rico.  ***MARLAR: Of course, if you ever changed the diaper of a newborn, you’d swear something exploded in there. 

 There is a lot of talk these days about the world coming to an end in 2012 because of the Mayan calendar supposedly “running out” on Dec. 21, 2012. But Mayan Indian elder Apolinario Chile Pixtun tells us it’s not the end of the world at all and that all the hype is meaningless. Pixtun says the doomsday theories spring from Western, not Mayan ideas.  ***MARLAR: And you know our predictions are screwed up.  People thought the end of the world was coming with Y2K and still have food supplies and generators in their backyard bunkers. 

According to FaceBook, the happiest day of the year is Thanksgiving! That’s according to the new Facebook Gross National Happiness index. To build the new index, Facebook researchers culled the stats from two years of anonymous “status updates” from the site’s 100 million users in the United States.  ***MARLAR: That’s just the number of postings on Thanksgiving Day though – what about the content of those posts?  Maybe people were saying, “I’m sick of turkey”… “I’m sick of football”… “I’m sick of Uncle Karl”…

Web security sleuths have found a new type of “Trojan horse” that steals your bank log-in name and password, then proceeds to drain money from your account — while you’re logged in to do online banking. The new Trojan, called URLZone, features a number of innovations not widely seen in Internet crime. For example, the Trojan can estimate precisely how much money to steal based on how much dough you have in your account, and can even siphon money in small increments to evade detection.  ***MARLAR: That’s not good news for me… all I have in my account is small increments. 

A Domino’s Pizza franchise in North Carolina was forced to close its doors forever, and its owner puts the blame on disgusting videos two former employees posted on YouTube. Franchise owner Kevin Hendren said,  “My business was off 58 percent because of YouTube,” The store closed on Sept. 22. The video allegedly shows two employees of his Conover, N.C., Domino’s Pizza putting cheese in his nose and then putting it on a sandwich, sneezing on cheese sticks and other disgusting things. The videos were discovered in April and have been removed from YouTube.  ***MARLAR: So you catch a kid on video making nose cheese and sneezing on the food… and the solution is to kill the video?

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