An elderly couple in Lapland were treated at a hospital after they were attacked by a reindeer. ***MARLAR: Well now, that “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” song doesn’t seem all that funny anymore, does it?
Calderdale Royal Hospital in England banned visitors from cooing over babies because it might insult the babies’ dignity. ***MARLAR: How much dignity do you have to start with when you’re sucking your thumb wearing dirty diapers?
Hundreds of senior citizens outside Chicago got an unexpected Halloween treat Saturday — a free party sponsored by a jilted bride. Six days before Teanne Harris was to walk down the aisle, her fiancé called off the wedding. And when Harris and her mother went to the catering hall to cancel the reception, they were told their deposit was nonrefundable. That’s when Harris noticed the Asbury Court Retirement Community across the street. So instead of letting a Halloween-themed wedding reception go to waste, Harris, 34, decided to move the party to the retirement home. It was a great time for all involved. ***MARLAR: Plus she found a lot of eligible bachelors.
Feet — yes, human feet — seem to keep finding their way to Canada’s Pacific coast. Another human foot was discovered near Vancouver, the EIGHTH one in the last two years. Two men walking along the beach spotted the lone foot, which was still wearing a size 8 ½ Nike running shoe. Authorities are conducting forensic tests to see if the foot matches any missing persons. As for the other seven washed up feet, one was found to belong to a missing man who was depressed, but the unidentified feet include a female pair, a male pair and a male right foot. Scientists predict the feet could’ve drifted anywhere from dozens to thousands of miles, as human body parts will remain intact in water for years if protected by shoes or sturdy clothing. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police say they don’t suspect foul play in the foot discoveries, but that it appears all the feet separated naturally from their bodies. ***MARLAR: Eight feet wash up on shore in just two years and they “don’t expect foul play”? How many severed feet does it take before police get suspicious?
Kellogg’s just can’t seem to get a break these days. Maybe you remember some weeks back the story about the angry consumer that realized that Froot Loops cereal contains no actual fruit and decided to sue for false advertising. Now Kellogg’s is dealing with more false advertising claims, this time from San Francisco City Attorney, Dennis Herrera, who just announced that he has written a letter to the CEO of the cereal company demanding evidence that Cocoa Krispies really “helps support your child’s immunity” as it purports to do on the front of the box. Herrera claims Kellogg’s is shamefully playing to the public’s fears about the recent swine flu epidemic and that they might “mislead parents into believing that serving this sugary cereal will actually boost their child’s immunity, leaving them less likely to take more productive steps to protect their children’s health.” If you haven’t seen a box of Cocoa Krispies cereal lately, they do feature a big yellow banner that reads: “Helps Support Your Child’s Immunity!” Cocoa Krispies’ ingredients do not include flu vaccines and the so-called “immunity” cereal is 40% sugar by weight. Kellogg’s company spokesperson, Susanne Norwitz, would only say that Kellogg’s Krispies cereals provide consumers with 25 percent of their daily value of vitamins A, C, and E, which play an important role in boosting immunity according to peer-reviewed, published, scientific research. (San Francisco Weekly) ***MARLAR: Using Kellogg’s rationale, I could dip my breakfast burrito into a jar of One-a-Day vitamins and say the burrito now “supports immunity.”