Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

A rolled up newspaper can be an effective training tool when used properly.  For instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews up something inappropriate or has a housebreaking accident.  ***MARLAR: Bring the dog over to the destroyed object (or mess), then take the rolled-up newspaper… and hit yourself over the head as you repeat the phrase: “I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG, I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG!”

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again — even if it takes 949 more times! In Seoul, South Korea, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon FINALLY passed her written exam for a driver’s license on her 950th attempt! No kidding. She has taken the test nearly every day since April 2005. The aspiring driver spent more than $4,200 in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points. She finally scored an even 60. Of course now she must pass a driving test before getting her license.  ***MARLAR: Other South Korean drivers don’t seem to be too concerned.  They’ve seen her drive and she’s still better than Chicago cabbies.

Retirement plans across the country are drastically changing due to the crummy economy. According to a nationwide survey by the Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends project, nearly four-in-ten adults who are working past the median retirement age of 62 say they have delayed their retirement because of the recession. Of workers ages 50 to 61, 63% say they might have to push back their expected retirement date because of current economic conditions.  ***MARLAR: Retirement?  What’s THAT?

A new study claims that recent children’s cartoons have become more violent.  ***MARLAR: And whoever is causing that should be thrown over a cliff and have an anvil dropped on his head.

A British company has developed a bacteria-retarding line of underwear that you can wear for days without having to wash.  ***MARLAR: Bachelors around the world are reported to have tears of joy.

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