Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

If your boss can’t give you a raise, what’s the next best thing? How about a new job title?  A new survey says that almost 70% of most office workers would be willing to give up a pay raise in return for a more professional sounding job title.  Filing clerks could be called “data storage specialists”. Janitors could become “Custodial Engineers.” ***MARLAR: They did this to me too.  Instead of a raise, I’m now an “On Air Personality” – which is a drastic improvement from my old job title of “Monkey Boy Button Pusher”.

Forget fancy diets. A new study says that if you want to lose weight, just eat lots of tomatoes. The juicy fruit is thought to be rich in compounds that take away hunger pangs and suppress the urge to snack, which is one of the biggest battles for slimmers. British researchers believe that the magical ingredient that suppresses the appetite is the pigment lycopene, which gives tomatoes their red color.  ***MARLAR: Pizza sauce… that has a lot of tomatoes in it, right?  If so, I should be dropping the pounds already.

Shame, shame on the folks from HoneyBaked Ham in Cary, North Carolina. Back in April manager Richard Huether was shot in the stomach during a robbery of the store and hospitalized, with medical bills paid through worker compensation and his employee health benefits. However, in September, and with another three months of recovery needed before he could return to work, his worker compensation expired and HoneyBaked fired him thus forcing him to begin paying 100 percent of his insurance premiums. Getting subsequent insurance was prohibitive because of his new “pre-existing condition”. But HoneyBaked human resources executive Maggie DeCan said the firing was for Mr. Huether’s own good, in that it would clear the way for him to receive Social Security disability payments. DeCan then said, “We couldn’t feel any worse for Rich, and we would do anything we could for him.”  ***MARLAR: Yeah — anything except keep him on the payroll!

Officials in Key West, Florida are fining people found begging on the street. If you beg in Key West, it’s $500 for each offense. ***MARLAR: But then, if they had the $500 to pay the fine, what reason would they have to go begging?

The Preventive Medicine Society of China reports that 60 percent of people in rural areas of the country have never brushed their teeth. ***MARLAR: Here’s the strange thing… I checked it out this morning; my toothbrush is stamped “Made in China.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *