MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! If read these weird news stories, please leave a comment! (I’m always looking for affirmation, aren’t I?)
Badge? Check! Gun? Check! Pooper Scooper? Maybe not. Officials in Madison, Wisconsin, are considering a proposal that would exempt police from the local pooper scooper law. For now, officers who are part of mounted patrols or K-9 units have to pick up after the animals, just like every other pet owner. The measure to be considered by the city council would drop the droppings requirement for officers while on duty. One alderwoman notes that picking up the droppings can be difficult for the mounted officers who do crowd control at the University of Wisconsin football games. ***MARLAR: Actually, if you left the doo on the ground, wouldn’t the crowd size be a lot more manageable?
In Portsmouth, New Hampshire, 20-year-old Jaimil Choudhry was found not guilty of driving while intoxicated after being pulled over by police. He failed a field sobriety test but his attorney successfully argued that Jaimil couldn’t walk a straight line because he is obese — not because he was drunk — and he never should have been administered the test for that reason. So instead the court found Jaimil guilty of “reckless operation of a vehicle,” fined him $500 and his driver’s license was suspended for 60 days. Jaimil, who is 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs 230 pounds, refused to submit to a Breathalyzer test. ***MARLAR: It’s not over though, Jaimil will now be facing his peers at the local food court.
Is Santa too unhealthy? In your home do you leave Santa carrots instead of cookies? Green tea instead of a glass of whole milk? Public health expert Nathan Grills of Monash University in Australia says that Santa should ditch his sleigh and start biking or walking to lose his belly. He also says, “Santa promotes a message that obesity is synonymous with cheerfulness and joviality.” ***MARLAR: Of course he’s jovial; he has all-you-can-eat cookies and milk!
Bottled water may not be any healthier or safer than tap water, according to Florida-based sports nutritionist and dietician Cynthia Sass, who says that 25% of bottled water on store shelves is actually just repackaged tap water. A recent Gallup poll found that we drink bottled water because we think it is purer than tap water, tastes better and is more convenient. ***MARLAR: More convenient? How can it be more convenient than walking outside and drinking from the hose?
Yet another new study shows that the combination of fat and vitamin C in the stomach may actually promote, rather than prevent, the formation of kinds of chemicals that cause cancer. ***MARLAR: So now I have to avoid orange juice when ordering my sausage McMuffin?
Britain’s National Sizing Survey found that women’s waists are disappearing. The hourglass figure is being replaced by the straight up-and-down Bridget Jones body type. Due to fast food and sedentary lifestyles, British women’s waistlines have expanded by more than six inches in the past 50 years, while the average bust and hips have grown by just one inch. The researchers believe men have ballooned just as much, but lack data on it. ***MARLAR: Because men haven’t noticed.