Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

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A Connecticut bride had to spend part of her wedding night in a jail cell after police said she hurled things at reception hall workers who closed the bar. When workers there closed the bar, Adrienne Samen allegedly began throwing things, including wedding cake and vases, inside the restaurant. Samen left the restaurant, and police found her walking down the road in her gown. While being taken into custody, she reportedly kicked the door and window of the police cruiser and tried to bite an officer.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like her new husband will have to endure a much longer sentence than the one his wife is about to get in jail.

OK guys. Admit it. Your skivvies probably have seen better days. According to a survey done for Jockey International, 77 percent of men say their undershorts are stained or tattered or worse. A quarter of guys confess their boxers or briefs are more than four years old. Another 15 percent admit they wear underwear that doesn’t fit. The telephone survey of 500 men was conducted by Kelton Research for Jockey. ***MARLAR: Nice to see I’m in the majority.

Rambo has been busted. A soldier named Rambo was arrested in Goodland, Kansas, charged with stealing a Humvee while AWOL. But it’s not Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo. The real G-I is Private Wayne Rambo, stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado. And unlike with the Rambo from the “First Blood” movies, this Rambo was arrested without incident.  ***MARLAR: But you could tell he was influenced by the Rambo movies, because he was crying and yelling at the end and you couldn’t understand a thing he said.

Chocolate fans should be on the lookout for a stolen trailer containing 20-tons of chocolate. The Peru Police Department reports that the refrigerated trailer containing 40,000 pounds of Hersheys Chocolate Bars went missing from a parking lot, and anyone with more information is asked to call authorities.  ***MARLAR: Cops are on the lookout for a band of criminals with weight and pimple problems.

A new dating service in Florida says it will find you someone that is biologically perfect for you, with DNA match-making.  ***MARLAR: Why would I want someone that matches my DNA?  One person in the house with male-pattern baldness is enough.

Police in Paris smashed a fake dentist ring and arrested 23 Syrians accused of using cafes and grocery stores to carry out back-street fillings. The unlicensed dentist used battery-operated drills to work on the teeth of people who had no health insurance or couldn’t afford private treatment. ***MARLAR: The drilling and filling wasn’t so bad, but some patients turned them in when they came in for braces and were told to bring their own paper clips.

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