Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

(Comments not only welcome, but encouraged!)

In China, Lo Wung’s taekwondo monkeys have become a regular feature and a crowd favorite outside a major shopping center in Enshi, Hubei province. The spider monkeys have been trained by Lo to demonstrate their martial arts skills on each other. But things got ugly the other day when the monkeys decided to turn on their trainer and put some Kung-Fu moves on him. One monkey gave Lo a perfect flying kick to the head. Then another punched him in the eye while another grabbed his ear. One witness who caught the incident on video said, “They were leaping and jumping all over the place! It was better than a Bruce Lee film.” At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a stick to control the monkeys.  ***MARLAR: The moral of the story… walk softly, carry a big stick, and don’t teach your monkeys karate.

Some thieves in Ipswich, England, stole the cargo from a parked truck, but they probably won’t be very happy when they see what it is. They made off with 50,000 socks which would be valued at over $65,000, except none of them match. They were on their way to a Woolworth’s promotion for a children’s book called “The Oddies,” which was inspired by the question, “Where do all the missing odd socks go?”  ***MARLAR: And now we have the answer to that question – they’re all stolen by morons.

In Hornell, New York, The City’s Common Council has approved a ban on smoking in all city parks but with a weird stipulation. Hornell Mayor Shawn Hogan said while the move makes sense and that more and more cities are doing it, local police will not be enforcing the ban but rather it will be left up to peer enforcement.  ***MARLAR: That’s right, New York is now legislating peer-pressure.

Doctors are saying a child’s immunity system can actually be strengthened by exposing them to a little dirt.  ***MARLAR: That’s why my parents gave me a subscription to the National Enquirer.

A recent study shows that around 9% of the U.S. population — 28 million people — don’t have bank accounts.  ***MARLAR: And most of them work in radio.

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