Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News

(Be sure to leave your comments about these weird news items – your thoughts might be better than mine!)

In a survey by the group Cats Protection, 75 percent of cat owners over age 55 said they sometimes prefer to share their feelings with their cat rather than their spouse or friends. 81 percent of kids 13 and under said they’d rather talk to their cat about their feelings than to their parents or a friend. And among owners aged 20-to-40, 60 percent said they’d put up with their cat’s bad breath but not their spouse’s, nearly half get a better night’s sleep with their cat in bed than with their spouse, and 55 percent would tolerate their cat hogging the bed covers but not their spouse doing it.  ***MARLAR: And it’s okay for the cat to cough up a hairball, but just let your spouse do it… (This is silly.  I know from personal experience that you can talk to your husband about your feelings, and he’ll ignore you just as well as your cat can.)

Chinese people who live in government-sponsored housing in a prosperous southern province may be evicted if caught repeatedly spitting in public, according to a draft plan.  The plan, carried on the Guangzhou Land and House Management Bureau’s website (www.laho.gov.cn), also includes littering, making too much noise and gambling among more than 20 other “misdeeds” that would lead to eviction, based on a point system.  ***MARLAR: We have a similar thing here in America.  It’s called “college.”

Police say an Ohio woman punched through a McDonald’s drive-through window because she couldn’t get Chicken McNuggets.  Twenty-four-year-old Melodi Dushane has pleaded not guilty to a vandalism charge in Toledo. Police were called to the restaurant where she allegedly became upset because chicken nuggets weren’t available.  ***MARLAR: Wasn’t there a lady last year that called 911 to report McDonald’s was out of these things?  Wow… I’m going to have to try some of those tasty McNuggets.

The University of Michigan has named Domino’s CEO David Brandon as its new athletic director.  The university said in a statement that Brandon will have a 5-year contract. ***MARLAR: What better choice for a health instructor than a guy who makes pizza for a living?

After a public outcry in Finland, the Helsinki Zoo has backed off on its plan to kill fourteen baboons because it can’t find a temporary home for them while their concrete pen is being renovated. ***MARLAR: Now the zoo is looking for a more humane way to do the job. So far, the only solution is to let the baboons perform tricks and have Simon Cowell vote out the losers.

According to a recent study, approximately sixty circus performers have been shot from cannons, and at last report, thirty-one have been killed on the job. ***MARLAR: That’s a greater than 50% chance of being killed!  They’d be safer working for a bomb squad in Afghanistan.

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