Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – April 07, 2010

Utah police say a man accused of stealing two phones from a convenience store was arrested when he flagged down the investigating officer and asked for directions.  ***MARLAR: To a phone booth.

A pit bull mix in Tennessee has been sentenced to obedience training after his dogged attack on a local police car.  Winston didn’t bite anybody, but he did manage to tear off a section of the police cruiser’s front bumper and damaged the tires.  The Chattanooga Times Free Press reports that a judge ruled that Winston had been a very bad dog. He was sentenced to obedience and canine good citizen classes, and he’ll have to wear a tag that says he is “potentially dangerous.”  ***MARLAR: That’s what you get for trying to take a bite out of crime.

E-mail users in North America and Europe who find themselves plagued with the incessant bombardment of spam can blame ten spammers singled out by junk mail fighter Spamhaus for the unwanted messages. The top 10 spammers allegedly send 80% of spam email.  ***MARLAR: If we know it’s just ten guys – doesn’t that mean we know who they are?  Let’s send some Jack Bauer kind of guy out to deal with them and call it a day.

Tax time is just around the corner and if you’re thinking of trying to pull a fast one on Uncle Sam, forget it.  The IRS has seen it all.  Such ploys as filing a “corrected” wage form reporting zero income or trying to eliminate all of the year’s income by deducting it all won’t work.  Then there are people that tell you that wages are not income or that paying taxes is voluntary. This will not earn you anything but jail time.  Also keep in mind, you cannot blame your tax preparer for fudging on your return. The only safe way to avoid paying taxes is to not make any money.  ***MARLAR: Well, looks like I’m okay then.

In Denton, Texas, two brothers who share an apartment were “play fighting”. One brother had a sword and the other brother had a bathroom plunger. One brother said he lunged with the plunger and it suctioned to the stomach of his brother, who was swinging the sword. In his efforts to remove his plunger from his brother’s stomach, he said he accidentally impaled himself on his brother’s sword. He was treated for a cut that was not life-threatening at a hospital emergency room.  ***MARLAR: What kid thinks it’s a great idea to take on his brother, who has a sword, by picking up the bathroom plunger?

Scientists in China found the remains of a prehistoric mammal about the size of a cat with the remains of a tiny dinosaur called a “parrot dinosaur” in its stomach. It was startling because it’s the first proof mammals hunted dinosaurs. The conventional theory is that early mammals were timid creatures the size of chipmunks, cowering from giant reptiles.  ***MARLAR: Of course mammals ate dinosaurs – how else do you explain Fred and Barney eating brontosaurus burgers?

Anyone in your company have “brain drain”? It seems that Federal programs — worth billions of dollars — are at risk because the government is not doing enough to recruit, train and keep good employees. According to the General Accounting Office, staff cutbacks, an aging work force, and competition from the private sector have contributed to the brain drain in the federal government. ***MARLAR: So what was their excuse before?

Eating at home can save you some cash. But a study warns that relying on cookbooks to prepare food can be a recipe for disaster — in terms of calories.  ***MARLAR: With or without a recipe, my cooking is STILL a disaster.

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