Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – April 09, 2010

An 82-year-old woman who accidentally crashed her car through the front window of a southwest Michigan salon stuck around afterward for an appointment to get her hair done.  Authorities said Marion Zock was parking her Ford Fusion on Thursday outside Classic Hair Design in Kent County’s Plainfield Township, near Grand Rapids, when she stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake.  Two people were injured, including an employee who returned to work after treatment and a girl with a bruised arm.  Zock told WOOD-TV her foot slipped from the brake. She’s a regular customer and says she was “so embarrassed.”  ***MARLAR: I doubt it.  How embarrassed could she have been, really?  She stuck around to get her hair done!  (***MARLAR: Of course she got her hair done… an accident like that would leave your hair in a terrible mess!)

Nineopus. Novopus. Freak of nature. Whatever you want to call it, the nine-legged octopus probably had a leg up on all the other creatures in the Gulf of Mexico – until it was caught and found its way to Hellas Bakery and Restaurant in Florida.  Head Chef Emmanuel Psomas says he was steaming the octopus Thursday when he discovered that it seemed, well, leggier than normal. Psomas says he’s cooked octopus for 40 years – it’s a Greek delicacy – and has never seen one with an extra leg.  While unusual, marine experts say the extra leg on the octopus is likely due to genetic mutation. ***MARLAR: Gee, ya think?

After receiving one of his wife’s kidneys, a man in England claims he’s turning into her, picking up her hobbies such as cooking, shopping and gardening.  ***MARLAR: The clincher though was when he made an appointment for himself with the gynecologist.

They may not be able to change their tires in less than 20 seconds, but Stockertown, Pennsylvania’s fire department is looking for something decidedly race car-like: sponsorship. The tiny town 650 residents bought a fire truck but hasn’t been able to scrape together enough money to pay for it. So the fire chief and the City Council president dreamed up the idea of selling advertising space on the fire truck. ***MARLAR: What a GREAT idea! Let’s do the same thing here!  Call in now and reserve your space on the (JOCK SHOW) microphone! Space is VERY limited (it’s a small microphone) so call now!

Scottish writer William McGonagall has long been proclaimed the worst poet ever and now a recently discovered play by him makes McGonagall a candidate for the worst playwright ever.  ***MARLAR: The play is so bad, it’s already being talked about as the next big movie role for Rob Schneider.

A 49-year-old Aurora, Illinois man set a new world record by riding a stationary bike for 85 hours straight. ***MARLAR: And yet, his life went nowhere.

A study says procrastination among adults is getting worse. ***MARLAR: Maybe.  Actually, they haven’t really began the study yet.

Stanford researchers report that people who wear pedometers walk 2,000 more steps per day than people who don’t wear pedometers.  ***MARLAR: Really?  And how do they know that?

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