Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – April 15, 2010

Scientists may have found a way to tell which smokers are at highest risk of developing lung cancer: measuring a telltale genetic change inside their windpipes.  ***MARLAR: The biggest indicator are those smokers who can’t read the label saying cigarettes cause cancer.

Police have arrested two women at an British airport after they reportedly tried to smuggle a corpse onto a flight.  Police said Tuesday the women were detained at Liverpool’s John Lennon airport “on suspicion of failing to give notification of death” of a 91-year-old man.  The BBC and other British media reported that the women placed the man, a relative of theirs, into a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses in a bid to get him aboard a flight to Berlin.  The women, aged 41 and 66, were detained Saturday and have been released on bail.  ***MARLAR: Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to check him as luggage? (Maybe he died from the airline’s food?)

People unwilling to quit smoking to improve their own health may consider giving up cigarettes to spare their pets the harmful effects of second-hand smoke. A new survey says Twenty-eight percent of pet owners who smoke say they would try to quit based on knowledge that second-hand smoke could harm their dogs, cats and other pets. Another 11 percent said they would think about quitting.  ***MARLAR: “I don’t really care if my smoke kills me or my family, but if little Fifi might get sickie-poo…”

A Utah woman listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for her long fingernails has lost them in a car crash. Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City sustained serious but non-life-threatening injuries in the accident. Redmond’s nails hadn’t been cut since 1979. Her nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches.  ***MARLAR: It was hard to tell whether her injuries were a result of the impact or her lifting her hands to her face to brace for the crash.

One Minnesota man is going nowhere fast for his 30th birthday. B.J. Van Beusekom (boo-SEE’-kohm) decided to celebrate by running on a treadmill for 24 hours straight. He did the equivalent of about 80 miles. The 6-foot, 175-pound Van Beusekom only took breaks to use the restroom and change clothes. His indoor marathon also raised just over $3,000 for the American Lung Association.  When he finally got off the treadmill, Van Beusekom said he was looking forward to a nap and a massage.  ***MARLAR: Boy can I relate to this story.  I’m 40-years old and my life hasn’t gone anywhere either.

Someone’s torching the porta-potties in San Francisco. Authorities report at least 20 construction site toilets have gone up in flames since November. There’s little in the way of evidence left behind, except for a big, smelly mess that has to be cleaned up. Contractors have taken to camouflaging their johns to make sure construction workers have a place to go.  ***MARLAR: Hey, doc… every time I use the porta potties I get this burning sensation…

A computer glitch at a North Carolina bank has declared over four hundred bank customers deceased. ***MARLAR: Now that’s four hundred really lucky people that have a great excuse for the IRS this year!

Four Lebanese university students were jailed for a week for making crude remarks about a woman’s singing talents on Facebook.  ***MARLAR: They should move to America; making nasty personal insults is what we invented “American Idol” for.

The Platypus can eat its weight in worms every day.  ***MARLAR: I know it can, but why the heck would it want to?

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