Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – April 16, 2010

Fourteen states, the nation’s capital and the federal government hiked their cigarette taxes last year, but health officials worry that tobacco company discounts are keeping prices down.  ***MARLAR: Only the government would be concerned that a product is still affordable.

Three college students are steamed over their icy ride. The University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire students floated down a river on a large ice slab. A campus police officer spotted them and called for help. More than 20 emergency responders came to the students’ aid. But the students say they didn’t need rescuing. Eighteen-year-old Matt Turek insists he and his buddies weren’t out of control and authorities overreacted. They’ve been cited for disorderly conduct. The students say they’ll fight the charge and the nearly $200 fine.  ***MARLAR: Cops say if the students push it they’ll be tossed in the cooler.

A 14-year-old Wisconsin girl who refused to stop texting during a high school math class was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. The teen text queen was busted at Wauwatosa East High School after she ignored a teacher’s demand that she stop texting. The girl denied having a phone when confronted by a school security officer. However, the phone was located after the girl was frisked by a female cop. The Samsung Cricket was recovered hidden under the teen’s clothes.  The student was issued a criminal citation for disorderly conduct, which carried “a bail of $298,” and had her phone confiscated. ***MARLAR: When she asked for her phone back, authorities said, “Phone?  We don’t have a phone.”

According to a study by the journal Human Nature, men and women are different when it comes to carrying their cell phones. Men tend to take their phones out of their jackets and briefcases and place them in the open for anyone to see, while women usually left theirs tucked away. The men also fiddled with the phones often, especially when the ratio of males to females increased. The journal also discovered that many cell phones that you see being used aren’t even real. Some phones are just playing the role of status symbol.  ***MARLAR: These are probably the same people who had imaginary friends growing up.  After all, who do you think they’re talking to on those fake phones?

Pregnant teenagers at a Denver high school want at least 4 weeks of maternity leave.  ***MARLAR: Do we really need to give teenage girls incentive to get pregnant?

Researchers now believe that the difference in length from your ring finger to our index finger may be an indicator of athletic ability.  ***MARLAR: No wonder they called me Butterfingers when I played football.

If you want to lose weight, join a soccer league. According to research from Copenhagen University in Denmark, soccer works off more fat and builds up more muscle than jogging.  ***MARLAR: Not from playing the game itself, but from running away from the football players who think you’re a pansy.

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