Authorities said a man took a bite into crime when he helped himself to a burrito and a bag of Funyuns snacks at a gas station food store in Hastings, then told the clerk to call police because he had no money to pay. Barry County Prosecutor Tom Evans said 28-year-old Michael Odell was charged with retail fraud. Odell, who told police he is homeless, is now in jail. ***MARLAR: Where he gets free food three times a day.
The music booster club at Central Community Unit School District 301 in St. Charles isn’t bothering with bake sales and car washes this year. Instead, it’s selling bags of something promoters call “paca poo.” Minus the cute name, the product is alpaca manure. Booster club secretary Gudrun Dorgan said it is a great garden fertilizer, and it comes in little pellets that are easy to work into the ground. Parents, students and teachers will be scooping and selling droppings on Saturday at Inspiration Farm Alpacas. A 30-pound bag will cost $10. ***MARLAR: That’s strange. Typically when you buy something this disgusting from a school it comes from the cafeteria.
Steve Unfreid, the principal of the Matanuska Christian High School in Wasilla, Alaska, caught two male students kissing girls in a locker room. So to atone for the students’ sins and show his own responsibility for not teaching them better, he asked a male teacher to whip him with a belt in front of the two students and to stop only when they acknowledged their mistake. The teacher obliged. Unfreid said he was inspired by Jesus. It didn’t impress the school board though. He was fired. ***MARLAR: The boys never did say, “stop”…They just kept saying, “Keep whipping, we don’t feel repentant enough yet.”
Health experts are giving America’s senior citizens something serious to chew on — new numbers showing they need to eat better and exercise more. A newly-released report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that one-third of Americans over 65 don’t take part in any physical activities in their free time. And researchers say that twice as many — two thirds of all seniors — don’t get enough fruits and vegetables each day. ***MARLAR: Heck, according to them, I’m a senior citizen!
Tightwad Bank in Tightwad, Missouri, has closed down. The small-town bank used its unusual name to bring in over $2 million deposits over the last 20 years, but now has shut its doors. Despite people from all over the country making deposits in the unusual-sounding bank, the town has never grown. Tightwad, population 63, has eight more residents now than when the bank opened. ***MARLAR: I could never trust my money to a bank named “Tightwad”. I’d be afraid the ATM would never let me get my money.
A New York couple completed a 2,500 -mile cab ride to their new home in Arizona. ***MARLAR: Yep… that’s what you can expect from Springtime road construction and detours.
The more fat you take in, the more food you may consume overall, leading to weight gain, a study from Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, reveals. A high-fat diet disrupted the body clock of mice, causing them to eat up a storm when they should have been asleep. ***MARLAR: So let me see if I understand this. The more fat you eat, the fatter you get? Who’d a thunk it?
“Hey, doc, did you wash your hands?” In an era of rising rates of drug-resistant infections and overburdened medical staffs, hygiene experts say the best-protected patients are those willing to take safety into their own hands — by asking health workers to wash theirs – because doctors and nurses are only washing half as often as they should. ***MARLAR: Even cats and dogs wash themselves up regularly. How sad is it that we’d be better off with our dogs licking our wounds then letting doctors use a scalpel?