Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – April 23, 2010

Tacoma police said thieves stole copper pipes from a church. Members of Grace Missionary Baptist Church were preparing for a men’s breakfast Friday night when they noticed the toilets weren’t flushing. There was also no water from the faucets.  Parishioner Dan Gardner said they could hear water somewhere. But when he looked under the church’s crawl space, he discovered that all the copper pipes had been taken.  Church members scrambled to get water for breakfast and portable toilets.  ***MARLAR: But the day was not a total loss, as the church was anonymously given a hand-made pipe organ later in the week.

It’s safe to say that Elizabeth Rasmuson will have a one-of-a-kind dress for her high school prom in Garner, Iowa. Rasmuson made her dress out of gum wrappers. ***MARLAR: Upon seeing her in the dress, her date said she looked “Bubblicious.”

Australia may have a way to help solve the world’s drought problem: Charge homeowners for each flush of a toilet. While the final solution may not be that simple, economic and water officials in Australia are promoting a plan there that would charge homeowners based on waste water output. Currently, sewage charges are based on a home’s value.  ***MARLAR: Plus they’ll get the taxes from the money made by the plumbers who have to be called every other day to unclog toilets because people are refusing to flush them.

A 51-year-old Swedish woman got out of a jail sentence because she is overweight. The lady and her husband were sentenced to two and a half months each for making and selling moonshine out of their apartment, but the woman argued in court that she should not go to prison because her weight of 350 pounds meant she needed help with personal hygiene and dressing. The court let off her jail term, instead fining her $1,737. ***MARLAR: Here’s my idea… send her to prison anyway, but make someone who committed an even worse crime be the person responsible for her personal hygiene.

A theft charge over a missing library book has been dismissed against an Iowa woman who was jailed when she failed to return the overdue tome.  Her attorney says the charge of fifth-degree theft against Shelly Koontz of Independence was dropped yesterday.  James Peters says Koontz agreed to pay $13.95. That’s the cost of “The Freedom Writers Diary,” plus about $50 in court costs.  She also agreed to return the book.  Koontz was charged Jan. 22 and jailed for not returning the book that she borrowed last April in nearby Jesup. She was released after posting $250 bond.  Buchanan County Attorney Allan Vander Hart says a library complaint led to the arrest.  A woman who answered the telephone at the library hung up when asked for comment.  ***MARLAR: But she did so quietly.

An Illinois judge dismissed a $5,000 lawsuit brought against actor Chuck Norris by look-alike actor Bill Cavenagh. Cavenagh, who appeared in commercials for a Wisconsin auto dealership dressed as Norris, claimed Norris’ representatives sent a cease-and-desist letter to the dealership, which ended his acting career. ***MARLAR: I have a news flash for you, Bill – if that was it – your career never started.

A cat in London was put on a drug similar to Prozac because it was depressed and gaining weight.  ***MARLAR: Wait a minute… so it was getting fat and acting lethargic?  Isn’t that called “being a cat”?

A recent report says there are currently 1.5 billion cell phones in the world.  ***MARLAR: And they’re all being used by someone driving in front of me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *