Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – April 26, 2010

(Leave a comment… if you DARE!)

Police said that officers searching for a man wanted on methamphetamine charges found him hiding neck-deep in a liquid manure pit at a northeastern Indiana farm. Noble County sheriff’s deputies thought they’d lost the man until an officer spotted him in the tank beneath an outbuilding floor on the farm near Albion.  Chief Deputy Doug Harp said the man had been neck-deep in the combination of hog and dog feces for at least an hour. He later became combative and had to be shocked twice with a stun gun.  ***MARLAR: He was in the stuff for over an hour.  How could he NOT become combative?

Students at New Jersey’s Atlantic City High School have learned not to mess with the lunch ladies.  Cafeteria workers served only cheese sandwiches Wednesday and Thursday as punishment for a food fight. ***MARLAR: On the plus side, cheese slices can fly really far if thrown right.

A man robbing a bank in San Diego nearly got away with his crime, because the bank teller wasn’t able to describe what the man looked like. Fortunately for the police she was able to recall that the man had bad body odor. Believe it or not, that was enough for the police. After police made it known they were looking for a crook with BO, a motel owner recalled a guest who checked in who smelled badly and alerted the police. Sure enough, it was the same guy and the police arrested him.  ***MARLAR: He was easily identifiable in the police lineup – he was the only one not wearing a clothespin on his nose.

A Los Angeles woman is suing Kraft for fraud because their guacamole dip contains only 2% avocados.  Kraft claims that the dip is not labeled as guacamole, just guacamole-flavored.  ***MARLAR: Also, there are no actual islands in their Thousand Island dressing.

Teacher Steven Williams of Stevens Creek School in the San Francisco suburb of Cupertino was banned from giving his fifth grade students copies of the Declaration of Independence. The principal says it’s because the document refers to God, which would violate the separation of church and state. Williams’ attorney called it outrageous political correctness and said it’s just a historical fact that the Founding Fathers were religious.  ***MARLAR: They don’t teach kids about the Founding Fathers, either, because that’s sexist.

New research is leading some experts to believe that the amount of lead we were exposed to earlier in life might have more to do with how our mental capacity declines than simple old age. If the research is shown to be accurate it could mean that an aging person’s brain could work as if it’s five years older than it truly is – simply due to the amount of led levels more than 20 years ago. ***MARLAR: To be safe, U.S. Government officials are now suggesting we send senior citizens to China with the next toy recall.

Giving up all chocolate in a bid to peel off pounds may have a boomerang effect and make you eat more of it causing your weight to go up and down like a yo-yo. Psychologists have discovered that people who try to stop thinking about chocolate eat nearly 50 percent more. ***MARLAR: Just in case it works with other stuff, I’m trying to stop thinking of money.

If you want to remember names, where your keys are along with all your appointments, take a nap. New research by Avi Karni, a brain researcher with the University of Haifa in Israel, has concluded that a 90-minute afternoon nap helps to lock in fleeting long-term memories.  ***MARLAR: My problem is that I can’t ever remember to take a nap.

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