Police said a Bellingham, Washington Cost Cutter store employee was punched in the mouth after he confronted a customer about his body odor. ***MARLAR: Apparently the smell was PUNCHent (pungent).
Police said in court papers that a homeless woman who wanted to see “how fast a mattress could burn” set a fire that destroyed a central Pennsylvania apartment building. ***MARLAR: Now you know how she became homeless.
A new kind of theme park is being planned as part of a major casino/hotel/park attraction in Spain. It will be called “Spyland” and have rides, activities and stunt shows based on the history of real secret agents. Visitors get to play the role of spies as they take on missions, collect clues, test spy gadgets and “infiltrate the borders” of six different park zones, including a water park called “Aquantica.” ***MARLAR: They were also going to create a “Torture” ride but figured waiting in lines for hours took care of that already.
In Hong Kong, a court sentenced three men up to five years in jail for kidnapping a friend and forcing him to eat boiled eggs and fast food. The victim was kept in an apartment for 17 days and was also taken to McDonald’s where he was forced to eat four Big Macs, two bags of French fries and a large soft drink. ***MARLAR: And the guy pressed charges? Seventeen days of eating nothing but fast food, no work… I call that “vacation.”
Teachers at a Minnesota school have banned their pupils from hugging. Staff say an increasing number of hugs between students have changed the atmosphere and made them uncomfortable. Pupils admit getting up to 60 hugs a day, but insist that it’s all very innocent. Principal Chuck Arns of Pequot Lakes Junior High School says that officially there is no “anti-hugging” policy, but students caught embracing are being given detentions. ***MARLAR: Friday night the entire football team was suspended after scoring a touchdown.
Three young muggers attacked a 100-year-old man in Denmark Hill, England, but he fought off all three and went to work the next day. ***MARLAR: England really needs to do something to improve the quality of its muggers.
The Platypus can eat its weight in worms every day. ***MARLAR: I know it can, but why the heck would it want to?
“Hey, doc, did you wash your hands?” In an era of rising rates of drug-resistant infections and overburdened medical staffs, hygiene experts say the best-protected patients are those willing to take safety into their own hands — by asking health workers to wash theirs – because doctors and nurses are only washing half as often as they should. ***MARLAR: Even cats and dogs wash themselves up regularly. How sad is it that we’d be better off with our dogs licking our wounds then letting doctors use a scalpel?