Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – August 06, 2010

WeirdNewsAuthorities have charged a 29-year-old man with aggravated assault and false imprisonment after they allege he held his mother hostage for failing to iron his clothes. Carroll County Sheriff’s Office Sgt. Marc Griffith said the man remained in jail Wednesday without bond. The unidentified woman was not harmed in the June 30 incident.  Griffith said the man, who lives with his parents, wanted his mother to do some ironing because it was “woman’s work.” When she refused, authorities allege he pulled out a gun, and took his 51-year-old mother’s keys and cellphones and refused to let her leave for at least six hours.  She eventually escaped and went to a police station. Authorities were able to get the man out without incident.  ***MARLAR: Later, when asked why he insisted his mother iron his clothes, the man answered, “because I kept burning my stomach when I did it myself.”

Some health experts are now saying that advances in science will eventually enable humans to live decades beyond current age trends. ***MARLAR: The problem is finding something to watch on TV for 200 years that doesn’t make you want to give up and end it all yourself.  (Actually, the truth is that waiting for a doctor under ObamaCare will only make it feel like you’re 200 years old.)

More than one in seven homeowners with loans in excess of a million dollars are seriously delinquent, according to data compiled for The New York Times by the real estate analytics firm CoreLogic.By contrast, homeowners with less lavish housing are much more likely to keep writing checks to their lender. About one in 12 mortgages below the million-dollar mark is delinquent.  ***MARLAR: So our government’s solution is to tax the rich even more?  This is that new math I heard about, right?

A Spokane couple has reached its goal of collecting enough recyclable aluminum cans to pay for their wedding. Peter Geyer and Andrea Parrish estimated they needed to collect 400,000 cans, worth about $3,800, to pay for the July 31 wedding. With the help of a 150,000-can donation from Alcoa and 73,000 cans from United Recycling Services, they have reached the goal.  The couple continues to collect cans, this time to pay for their honeymoon. ***DUANE MATZ: Must be going to Cancun.

A former school board trustee from Southern California has been sentenced to two years of informal probation for stealing a bottle of ketchup from a college dining area. Orange County Superior Court Judge Jacki Brown day also ordered Steve Rocco to pay about $200 in fines and to stay 100 yards away from the college. Rocco was convicted by a jury of misdemeanor petty theft for stealing a single 14-ounce bottle of ketchup from a Chapman University dining area. The eccentric former Orange Unified School District trustee, known for espousing conspiracy theories, claims authorities planted the ketchup near his bicycle to make it look like a theft when he was simply recycling the bottle. He says he will appeal.  ***MARLAR: As soon as he recycles enough ketchup bottles to pay for a lawyer.

(audio clip) If you were a fan of the 1986 movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” you’ll remember the cool house Bueller’s friend Cameron Frye lived in with the glass garage in the back, overhanging a steep hill?  It’s where Bueller and his friend took the 1961 Ferrari from to go on their joy ride. Well…now that actual house is up for sale for only 2.3 million.  ***MARLAR: When you ring the doorbell it does “shick… shick.. shicki-shickaaaaa….” (audio clip)

While their parents seem to be moving away from Facebook, 18-to-25-year olds are spending more time on the site than ever. Since the end of March, nearly 2 million new members have joined up in that age bracket. The root of these developing Facebook trends? We’d bet that those Gen Y-ers, finding themselves unemployed and out of school, are aiming to waste some time and distract themselves. Meanwhile, we’d guess that their parents, in light of their companies’ tightening belts, are laying off the during-office-hours browsing. By the way…Teenagers now send and receive an average of 80 text messages a day, more than double the number a year ago.  ***MARLAR: Factor in eight hours for sleep and that’s sending a text on average every twelve minutes.  What are you texting about?  “Going to restroom now”… “flushing toilet now”… “washing hands now”…

Where do you go after telling cops in frantic 9-1-1 calls you’d been abducted and stuffed in the trunk of a car? You go to Disney World! A mother from the Philly area who said she and her daughter had been carjacked and put in a car trunk were found at Disney World. Police say the two had flown there about two hours after reporting their abduction. They’re now in custody.  ***MARLAR: Now they’re claiming that they only FELT like they’d been kidnapped when they were forced onto the “It’s a Small World” ride.  (audio clip)

Japanese chewing gum giant Lotte is now requiring new employees to go out and scrape chewing gum off Tokyo sidewalks. The company says they require this because they are concerned about the environment. ***MARLAR: Either that or they need more supplies.

Customers at the sole shop in the tiny village of Sainte-Marie, France, will have to pay three times as much for a Coke as anywhere else in France after the mayor slapped on a new tax. The mayor has set a 300 percent tax on Coca-Cola sales on the grounds that the ingredients of the manufacturer’s secret formula are not listed on the container.  ***MARLAR: To put it in perspective, a 300% tax is almost as much as you’d have to pay for a Coke at Wrigley Field.

Soon you might see cars on the road using prune juice for fuel; that’s according to a company in California that’s developed the unusual fuel. ***MARLAR: Prune juice… so does that mean we’ll be calling the fuel REGULAR?

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