Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – August 07, 2009

A New York City doorman who said he wouldn’t quit his day job after winning a $5 million lottery, kept his word. His employer, however, fired him. A spokesman for the union representing apartment building workers says Richie Randazzo notified the union’s grievance center on Tuesday that he had received the boot. Randazzo made $40,000 a year as a doorman. He began taking in another $65,000 every three months after hitting the jackpot on May 2nd. Randazzo’s father says his son got a letter that did not specify the reason for his discharge.  ***MARLAR: I’d think having a multi-millionaire opening the door for your tenants would make them feel pretty special.

An alert was issued by the American College of Emergency Physicians that warns of the dangers of sending text messages while walking. The ER doctors said there have been increased reports from around the country of injuries involving text-messaging pedestrians, bicyclists, roller-bladers and motorists. Most involve scrapes, cuts and bruises from texters who walked into lampposts or walls and tripped over curbs. According to ACEP, people should never text while driving, and should avoid talking on a cell phone or texting while doing other physical activities, including walking, biking, boating and rollerblading.  ***MARLAR: You know you’re texting too much when you send out a text saying: “OMG a car is about to hit me.”

It’s the hottest season of the year in Japan, and that means it’s eel season. So, bottoms up! A canned drink called “Surging Eel” is in Japanese stores just ahead of the country’s annual eel-eating season. A company spokesman says “It’s mainly for men who are exhausted by the summer’s heat.” Many Japanese believe eating eel boosts stamina in hot weather. The fizzy, yellow-colored drink contains extracts from the head and bones of eel and five vitamins contained in the fish.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like you’ll be sick if you drink it or not.

The owner of a South Carolina hair replacement business says a Myrtle Beach roller coaster isn’t nearly as hair-raising as the commercials claim.  A television ad shows the 150-foot-tall Time Machine at Freestyle Music Park moving so fast that a man loses his hairpiece.  But Dennis Murphy, who owns a hair replacement business, says the ad puts toupees in a bad light.  So he rode the coaster yesterday to prove his toupee would stay on. The Sun News of Myrtle Beach reports that his hands stayed in the coaster and his hairpiece stayed put, though he looked like he’d been in a strong wind.  ***MARLAR: It’s the AD that places toupees in a bad light?  I thought what put toupees in a bad light was the toupees!

Scientists now tell us that your body literally glows, emitting a visible light in extremely small quantities at levels that rise and fall with the day. Past research has shown that the body emits visible light, 1,000 times less intense than the levels to which our naked eyes are sensitive. In fact, virtually all living creatures emit very weak light, which is thought to be a byproduct of biochemical reactions involving free radicals.  ***MARLAR: Whew!  That was a close one.  My boss told me I was glowing just yesterday and I thought I was pregnant!

Toby, the golden retriever, is a lifesaver. That’s according to Debbie Parkhurst, who says her dog performed the Heimlich maneuver and saved her life. The Calvert, Maryland, woman says she was choking on a piece of fruit. She started beating on her chest in an attempt to dislodge the obstruction. Parkhurst says that’s when Toby pushed her to the ground and began jumping on her chest. She says the bit of apple loosened and Toby started licking her face to keep her from passing out. Parkhurst says she has the paw-shaped bruises on her chest to prove it. She adds her hero hound is “amazing.”  ***MARLAR: And Toby is now allowed to beg and be fed under the table for the rest of his life.

With nobody home, a dog in Berlin turned on a radio and had neighbors complaining about the loud music.  ***MARLAR: New woofers.

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