Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – August 16, 2009

Ontario, Canada, has passed a law making it illegal to use a regular light bulb after the year 2012. ***MARLAR: In the United States we’re still allowed to use dim bulbs… because we keep reelecting them.

A new study by the University of Chicago seems to indicate that the older you are, the happier you are.  Interviews with 28,000 Americans from 1972 to 2004 revealed 33 percent of 88-year-olds described themselves as very happy, compared to only 24 percent of those aged 18 to 22. Overall, the odds of being happy rose 5 percent with every passing decade. It’s partly because their social lives are more active than young people’s, due to church, volunteering and senior groups, plus they’ve lowered their expectations and no longer worry that they’ll never win a Nobel Prize or something. ***MARLAR: In other words, give up trying to accomplish anything in your life and you’ll be ecstatic! 

This will probably come as no surprise to married women, but a University of Michigan study shows that having a husband creates an extra seven hours of extra housework a week. On the other hand, for guys who are married, having a wife saves him from an hour of chores each week.  ***MARLAR: I’m not seeing the downside.

There’s a book out on Mother’s Day called “My Beautiful Mommy.” It’s written by plastic surgeon Michael Salzhauer of Bal Harbour, Florida, and it helps explain to kids why mommy suddenly looks different. Salzhauer says he gets patients who don’t know how to reassure their frightened kids that mommy isn’t sick when she’s having surgery. So the book tells the story of a perky mom explaining to her child that she’s getting a tummy tuck and nose job to feel better.  ***MARLAR: And the mommy tells the kids, I’m getting a tummy tuck because of YOU!

A new British study found that young people who adopt the “Goth” lifestyle of dark clothes and introspective music are more likely to commit self-harm or attempt suicide than other youths.  ***MARLAR: Unfortunately, the study couldn’t be completed because the Goth kids filling out the forms stole all of the staples and paper clips to use as body-piercings.

A small alligator was spotted sunbathing by a small pond not far from New York City recently.  Police helped capture the two-foot-long gator in the Long Island community of Huntington.  Now, the SPCA is trying to find out who released the alligator. An official says the animal had probably been raised in captivity and would be unable to fend for itself in the wild.  It’s also against the law in New York to own an alligator.  ***MARLAR: Unless it’s in the form of shoes or a bag. 

A study at Harvard University says that young boys who play with action figures that have big muscles and flat, rock-hard abs suffer from low self esteem.  ***MARLAR: So give your son a Barbie doll instead… it’s better for his self-esteem.

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