An attempted burglary at a California supply store was thwarted when the manager threw hot coffee in the face of a masked intruder. Chris Hegnes, manager of the Englund Marine and Industrial Supply, was going into work early Monday morning when he encountered a man in a mask charging at him with a hammer. Hegnes says he hurled his hot mocha at the man’s face and ran for it. ***MARLAR: I have to admit, hearing the coffee was made at a marine and industrial supply store certainly makes it sound like a deadly weapon.
Police in northeastern Pennsylvania have arrested a woman they say robbed a bank in a clown costume. Bethlehem police said the woman was captured about five minutes after the bank robbery late Friday morning. ***MARLAR: After trying to shoot her way out using a squirting flower.
The number of Americans who are receiving food stamps has risen to a record 40.8 million as the jobless rate hovers near a 27-year high, according to the latest government report. Recipients of Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program subsidies for food purchases jumped 19 percent from a year earlier and participation has set records for 18 straight months. ***MARLAR: We’re to the point now that seeing a man with a cardboard sign saying “Will work for food” is admirable. At least he’s working.
A 14-year-old girl in Switzerland gave herself a case of first-degree frostbite by spritzing spray deodorant way too close her skin. And when a 45-year-old friend tried it because she didn’t believe the teenager, the adult wound up with frostbite, too. The unusual cases of “cold burn” were described this week in the journal Pediatrics, where surprised-sounding scientists verified that, yes, aerosol sprays can cause freezing injuries. ***MARLAR: They plan to study the problem further once they are finished with their “tongues stuck to frozen metal poles” study.
It’s pizza to go — with a wave. Pizzeria owner Al Marino will make deliveries this summer to boaters on Michigan’s Lake St. Clair. Marino is launching the “SS Pizza.” It’s a pontoon boat equipped with an oven and kitchen. The owner of the Sam’s Sorrento Pizza chain tells the Detroit Free Press boaters can pull up to the SS Pizza. The floating pizzeria will also make deliveries using dingy-size boats. In addition to pizza, the hungry boaters can order other food like chicken wings and burgers. ***MARLAR: So long as you’re okay with soggy crusts and buns.
A Long Island convenience store owner Mohammad Sohail confronted by a bat-wielding would-be robber by showing mercy to the man after he collapsed in tears claiming he was only committing the crime to support his starving family. Instead of getting loot from a stickup, the store owner provided the man with $40 and a loaf of bread, but only if he promised never to rob again. The store owner says, “This was a grown man, crying like a baby.” But then the man dropped the bread, picked up the bat and tucked the $40 into his waistband before running away! ***MARLAR: I guess we can scrap plans for “Les Misérables 2”.
Recently a judge of the U.S. District Court of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased “Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries” because she believed “Crunchberries” were real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said “berries” were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit. She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers who also apparently believed that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes. ***MARLAR: Sounds like the real fruit was the one who bought the Cap’n Crunch.
A hearing-impaired Florida woman may have been saved from her burning home by her dog. The Orlando Sentinel reports Lillian Miller thought her Chihuahua mix just needed to go outside when he started barking around 3 a.m. the other day. So she took the dog — named Spaz — out. That’s when she saw flames coming from the living room window of her mobile home. A relative says Miller had removed her hearing aids and couldn’t hear the fire alarm. Luckily, Spaz could.
An annual survey by HR company Mercer reveals that Baghdad is the “worst place on Earth” to live. ***MARLAR: Detroit is planning to appeal.
For the first time, astronomers say they’ve found a planet outside our solar system that could potentially sustain life. The new discovery has Earth-like temperatures, and might have water. In galactic terms, it’s relatively close, a mere 120-trillion miles away, orbiting a red dwarf star. An astronomer on the European team that found the planet calls it a “nice discovery,” but adds, “We still have a lot of questions.” ***MARLAR: Like, “How soon can we send Alec Baldwin there?”
Superman may need to stay out of Serbia. The British Museum says a mineral recently discovered there has the same composition as kryptonite – according to the mineral’s chemical formula from the kryptonite that was stolen by Lex Luthor in the film “Superman Returns.” Unlike the glowing green crystals depicted in the Superman comics, this material is white, powdery and not radioactive. ***MARLAR: Instead of bright-green crystals, it’s more like Crystal Light.