Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: February 01, 2011

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NEW NEWS…

44-year-old Cynthia Colson, of Deltona, Florida called 911 several times after she wasn’t satisfied with the length of her nails after a manicure.  Deputies said Colson called 911 at least four times: twice after her original 911 call asking when deputies would arrive and a fourth time when the deputy was at the store trying to settle the dispute over payment.  ***MARLAR: The only time fingernails qualify as an emergency is if they’re used to scratch someone’s eyes out – which I’m sure the police wanted to do to Ms. Colson.

The U.N. health agency says world leaders will discuss efforts to clamp down on junk food marketing to children when they meet in New York on Sept 19-20.  The World Health Organization says heads of state will use the U.N. General Assembly meeting to talk about limiting the number and type of ads that children are exposed to.  ***MARLAR: If they’re concerned with getting rid of damaging children’s television, shouldn’t they start with “The Wiggles”?

Attention, Walmart shoppers: The food in your cart, from fruit drinks to salad dressing, may soon get healthier.  The nation’s largest grocer says it will reformulate thousands of store-brand products to reduce sodium and sugar and push its suppliers to do the same.  ***MARLAR: After making a late-night trip to Wal-Mart the other day and seeing their customers, I have to say this decision is WAY past due.

A woman whose natural voice could have been silenced forever because of vocal cord damage is able to talk again after undergoing a rare voice box transplant.  Brenda Charett Jensen, 52, reunited Thursday with the team of surgeons who performed the delicate operation last October, only the second surgery of its kind performed in the United States.  “It’s just been amazing – simply, simply amazing. And I’m still in shock,” Jensen said in a raspy voice at a news conference with her doctors. “I never know what’s going to come tomorrow, but I know it’s going to be better than where I’ve been.”  ***MARLAR: The woman’s husband, however, is not happy and is demanding doctors reverse the procedure.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

A French technology company has created a device called “The Persuasive Mirror” that shows what you’ll look like in the future if you continue your current diet and exercise habits.  ***MARLAR: For some of us they’d have to come out with a wide screen version.

Now, that’s fast. Scientists have provided a sneak peek at what is being called the world’s fastest supercomputer. It costs 100 million dollars — and can perform 1,000 trillion calculations per second. ***MARLAR: Meaning you’ll now receive email spam even faster than before.

The government has placed 12 species of flies on the Endangered Species List.  ***MARLAR: Thank goodness.  I can’t tell you how concerned I was about the possible extinction of flies.

An animal rights group wants organizers of Pennsylvania’s Groundhog Day festival to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robotic stand-in.  People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says it’s unfair to keep the animal in captivity and subject him to the huge crowds and bright lights that accompany tens of thousands of revelers each Feb. 2 in Punxsutawney, a tiny borough about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.  ***MARLAR: The rest of us think it’s unfair to keep us captive to PETA’s obtuse opinions.

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