Nothing says “I love you” like a half-mile wide heart made out of manure. A southern Minnesota man created the Valentine’s Day gift for his wife of 37 years in their farm field about 12 miles southwest of Albert Lea. Bruce Andersland told the Alberta Lea Tribune that he started the project with his tractor and manure spreader Wednesday and finished Thursday. His wife, Beth, said it’s the biggest and most original Valentine she has ever received. She said some people might think it’s gross, but she says it’s cute and “Why not do something fun with what you got?” ***MARLAR: And when she went down for a closer look, the valentine opened up and played “Love Stinks” by the J. Geils Band.
A Web designer is hawking square inches of an empty lot in Detroit for a dollar each to show what can be done with vacant spaces. Jerry Paffendorf says nearly 600 “inchvestors” have bought some of the 10,000 plots for sale in the “Loveland” art-and-real-estate project on Detroit’s east side. ***MARLAR: Some people plan to build tiny green plastic houses, or tiny red hotels.
A cow in Hygiene, Colorado, went after a bear that had climbed up her favorite apple tree. Jack McDonald said that at first the bear climbed out of the tree when the cow approached. After a few moments of sniffing each other, the cow – named Apple – chased off the bear. ***MARLAR: By the way, are we in a bear market or a bull market right now?
A disabled turtle is using her new set of wheels to get around in more ways than one. Officials at the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo say the 10-year-old spurred tortoise named Arava has started mating since she was fitted with a custom skateboard to overcome paralysis of her hind legs. The 55-pound turtle is unable to move with her front legs alone, so the zoo’s staff built her a metal board with two wheels that can be strapped to her stomach. ***MARLAR: So she still gets dates despite looking like a Volkswagen Beetle?
A Pittsburgh judge didn’t buy a woman’s defense that a shopaholic disorder caused her to steal nearly $758,000 from her former employer. Prosecutors said the woman stole the money from WesDyne International by using a company credit card to pay for vacations, home improvements, jewelry, a Mercedes Benz, and other items. She covered up the thefts by creating 1,700 bogus expense invoices. The woman’s attorney said she couldn’t help herself. But the judge agreed with prosecutors, who noted the woman managed to control her spending on her personal credit cards. She was sentenced to 33 months in prison. ***MARLAR: “No, you don’t understand… I’m only a shopaholic with other people’s money!”
So do you wanna live longer? Raise worms! A new study out of Mobile, Alabama reveals that people who raise and sell earthworms live 9.2 years longer than the average person. ***MARLAR: Sure, but that’s nine more years of raising worms.
Six people were arrested in New York for importing nearly $20 million worth of counterfeit hip-hop style clothing. ***MARLAR: You could tell the clothes were fake because the pants fit.
A study in Britain found that the average teenage boy is paranoid about his looks and spends 65 minutes getting ready to go out. ***MARLAR: Because, let’s face it, it’s not easy getting your hair to look exactly like you just rolled out of bed.