Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: January 04, 2011

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NEW NEWS…

Manhattan plastic surgeon Dr. Howard Sobel says that cosmetic surgery patients are getting younger and younger. They are getting nose jobs at 13, and liposuction at 16.  While he turns down most teen patients, he said he has injected Botox into girls as young as 17 who are worried about developing crow’s feet. One of his patients, a woman in her early 20s, explained to the Associated Press that she wants to stay young forever.  ***MARLAR: And with continual plastic surgery, you too can look as fresh and young as Joan Rivers.

Fish oil capsules won’t help boost weight loss if you’re already dieting and exercising, new research in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition shows.   Among a group of overweight and obese adults enrolled in a diet and exercise program, those who took omega-3 fatty acids didn’t lose any more weight than those given placebo capsules.  ***MARLAR: In other words, the secret to losing weight with fish oil capsules is to not diet or exercise.  Sign me up!

The former president of Shell Oil, John Hofmeister, says Americans could be paying $5 for a gallon of gasoline by 2012.  ***MARLAR: Maybe that’s the great disaster the Mayans were talking about.

Technology has made it easier to instantly capture and broadcast everything from yesterday’s lunch to junior’s first breath — prompting many hospitals and doctors nationwide to curb the use of cameras in the delivery room.  In fact, families are now no longer allowed to film or photograph baby deliveries in their entirety at Meritus, the new site of Washington County Hospital in Hagerstown, Maryland.   Instead, families must wait five minutes after the delivery before taking photos or filming in the birthing area once they are given the OK to do so from medical staff.  ***MARLAR: I think this is less to protect modesty and more to protect from medical malpractice.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

We love to support the arts as much as the next guy but this is outrageous. A recent Los Angeles exhibition by photographer Jill Greenberg featured 27 different photos of two and three-year-olds children crying. What makes it outrageous is why they were crying. Apparently Ms. Greenberg offered each child a lollipop and then snatched it away and photographed their reactions. She later admitted that the photos were “upsetting” but denied critics’ accusations of child abuse.  ***MARLAR: Maybe they should offer this lady her own art show, and then yank it away from her when she gets excited about it.  Maybe snap a photo of her reaction.

Amazing but true – a French woman tried to open the door of an airborne jetliner so she could go out and have a cigarette.  ***MARLAR: See what happens when you force people to go outside to smoke?

A car washer in England claims to offer the best car wash in the world; and he should be the best, because he charges over $9,000 per car. The 61-stage wash uses purified water, towels imported from Australia, and Brazilian wax which costs 12 grand per tube. ***MARLAR: Actually, if it comes with a free tank of gas it’s not a bad deal.

At a wedding in Port Chester, New York, Fabiana Reyes and her husband Elmo Fernandez were arrested after the bride got into a fight with the band over the music and allegedly broke a speaker and smashed a set of conga drums. She sparked such an uproar, police had to stun-gun them both. She was sentenced to the six days in jail she’d already served and to pay the band $1500 damages, and both promised to stay out of trouble for a year. Their 21-year-old daughter said they’d actually been married since 1986 but delayed their church wedding until last month. ***MARLAR: Despite the fine, the jail time and the tasing, the couple said attacking a wedding singer made it totally worth it.

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