Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: January 06, 2011

GET THE FREE AUDIO VERSION AT HTTP://MARLAR.PODOMATIC.COM!

NEW NEWS…

Prosecutors in Washington state say a man was arrested when he was caught wheeling a 50-inch television in a shopping cart right past a police station. A bystander called 911 to report that she saw a man grab a TV out of the back of a delivery truck, load it in the cart and start pushing it away. An Auburn police officer heard dispatchers relay the call as he was pulling into the police station parking lot – and then he saw the man, dressed entirely in camouflage, walking by with the cart. When the officer asked 22-year-old Johnathon D. Barnes what he was doing, he said he bought the TV from and friend – and then he ran. The officer caught up with Barnes and arrested him.  ***MARLAR: Mistake #1 – Walking a stolen television right past a police station.  Mistake #2 – Wearing camouflage, but not camouflaging the cart you’re pushing.  Mistake #3 – Wearing camouflage, thinking that’s going to hide you when you’re on a concrete sidewalk.

The King County sheriff’s office says a 92-year-old Shoreline man chewed through restraints to free himself after two men robbed his house.  Two men knocked on Lester Matteson’s door and asked to use his phone, claiming their car had broken down. But once they entered, the men grabbed the victim’s arms and held them while they used masking tape to tape him to a chair.  The men took off with more than $400 in cash and the victim’s 2000 Ford pickup truck.  It took Matteson two hours to chew through the masking tape. Other than bruises, he was not injured. He told police that he wasn’t frightened, but at his age, “you don’t wrestle two young men.”  And he says he’s learned his lesson: “Watch out who you let in.”  ***MARLAR: The other lesson he learned – always wear your dentures, you never know when you might need them.

Authorities in Northern California say a man released from a hospital after a psychiatric evaluation stole a taxi and tried to register it at a Department of Motor Vehicles office.  26-year-old Jermaine Grosse had been sent to the county’s regional medical center on an involuntary psychiatric hold. After his release he shared a taxi with a woman who was going to a San Pablo hospital. When they arrived, Grosse asked the driver to help with the woman’s luggage, then drove away in the yellow minivan.  ***MARLAR: Someone needs to re-take their psychiatric evaluation.

Astronomers from the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics have found what they’re calling a “super Earth,” located about 42 light years away in another solar system. The planet, officially called GJ 1214b, is nearly 2.7 times larger than our Earth and could be more than half-covered with water. But the temperature is over 250 degrees!  ***MARLAR: I’m sure THAT global warming is also our fault.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

A German man was so angry that his girlfriend loved her pet guinea pig more than him that he killed the guinea pig, cooked it in a romantic dinner, then told her what she’d just eaten. ***MARLAR: Wow… lucky gal!  How many men are able to cook a romantic dinner?

Teenagers whose ring finger is longer than their index finger are likely to score higher on the math section of the SAT, while those whose index finger is longer will do better on the reading and writing sections, according to researchers from the University of Bath in Great Britain. ***MARLAR: And you thought dad was only joking around when he told you to pull his finger.

According to an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association, if a woman suffers from depression and goes without treatment, her child can develop anxiety and psychological problems.   ***MARLAR: And so can her husband.

A British professor believes that a preservative in soft drinks might speed up the aging process. ***MARLAR: Not much of a preservative then, is it?  (Have a Coke and a wrinkle!)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *