Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: January 24, 2011

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NEW NEWS…

If you want to know how long grandpa is going to live, check his pace of walking. A report in this week’s Journal of the American Medical Association found a strong correlation between walking speed and expected survival rates for persons over 65.  The analysis from nine studies showed faster walking speed among older adults was associated with increased length of survival.  ***MARLAR: This does not bode well for me.  I’m only 42 years old and I’m already getting lapped by ladies using walkers.

A Canadian school official said computer security had to be improved because an eighth-grade hacker accessed test results on a server. ***MARLAR: Ferris Bueller strikes again.

Illinois lawmakers have approved a politically risky 66 percent income tax increase in an effort to solve a historic budget crisis. The bill now goes to Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn, who supports the plan.  It would temporarily set the personal tax rate at 5 percent, up from 3 percent now.  ***MARLAR: So they’re increasing the income tax rate during a recession – so those financially struggling will struggle even more.  Gee, that’s a pleasant thought.

It’s one for the record books. A lot of ones, that is.  A Minnesota woman gave birth at exactly 1:11 a.m. on Tuesday – Jan. 11, 2011.  Amy Zeller welcomed her daughter, Flora Mensah.   Mom & baby are both doing well.  ***MARLAR: I’d have though with the kid being born at 1:11 on 1/1/11 that the parents would’ve named her Uno.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

57% of women say they’d rather be rich than maintain their ideal weight forever.  ***MARLAR: Well, duh.  If you’re rich you can buy liposuction!

A judge in Argentina ordered a parrot to spend five days under police ‘interrogation’ in prison until the bird said the name of his real owner.  ***MARLAR: So what do you do in this situation?  Keep showing the parrot pictures of extra crispy KFC until it squawks?

The mayor of a small town in southern Spain has banned local men from going out on Thursday nights to give local women a chance to go out and enjoy themselves. Mayor Javier Checa of Torredonjimeno said men should clean the house and look after the children at least once a week “instead of going out… with friends.” The program doesn’t start until October.  ***MARLAR: At which point over 60% of the male population has declared they will be defecting to… anywhere.

In China, the driver of a semi-tractor-trailer rig was pulled over after driving for hundreds of miles with a sheet of cardboard completely covering his broken front windshield. The driver, identified only as “Mr. Li” drove by sticking his head out of the side window– in freezing conditions– or by peering through tiny holes in the cardboard. When stopped by police, Mr. Li jumped down from the cab with a face that was purple from the cold. He told officers he had been in an accident several days earlier but did not have time to repair his truck properly because of his tight delivery schedule. He admitted to police that he had driven with the temporary cardboard windscreen for an incredible 400 miles. He said, “I would drive like that until my neck got too sore and numb, when I would drive by looking through the little holes in the cardboard.” ***MARLAR: Police charged him with driving recklessly, but were thankful because driving with cardboard on the windshield is still safer than driving and texting.

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