DARREN’S DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS – July 08, 2009

A new prototype dress is designed to light up when the wearer’s mobile telephone rings. British fashion student Georgie Davis dreamed up the knee-length sleeveless white dress as part of a school project with mobile phone-maker Sony Ericsson to figure out ways of incorporating new technology into fashion. ***MARLAR: As if we’re looking for a new way to make cell phones more irritating.

The bride wore white — and a face mask. A Chicago couple married in surgical masks and latex gloves Sunday after learning less than 48 hours before that they both had Swine Flu. Ilana Jackson and Jeremy Fierstien went ahead with the ceremony after doctors assured them guests wouldn’t be at serious risk. But to be sure, the 26-year-olds kept a 10-foot distance from family and friends at all times, even walking around the gathering instead of down the aisle.  ***MARLAR: The pastor reversed the vows so that “in sickness and in health” came first. 

Jammie Thomas-Rasset, a single mother of four was found guilty of illegally downloading songs and ordered to pay a mind-boggling $80,000 for each of the 24 songs she downloaded or $1.9 million in all. Thomas-Rassett suggested that her children or ex-husband might have been the downloading culprits.  The courts didn’t buy it.  ***MARLAR: To raise money to pay the fine she’s now selling songs on the internet. 

Sophie Frost, a 14-year-old British girl had her iPod save her life when she was struck by a powerful bolt of lightning. The was hit by a 300,000-volt bolt while she and her boyfriend were standing underneath a tree. Although the impact knocked them both out and left them with minor burns, the electricity was diverted away from her vital organs by the iPod. Experts credit her survival to the fact that the headphones to her digital music player were hanging from her clothes, away from her body.  ***MARLAR: Even more miraculous – finding a teenager with an iPod that’s not attached to their head. 

Plus sizes have been around with clothing for a very long time. Now there is a line of furniture that is doing the very same thing! BrylaneHome is selling a line of furniture and home accessories called “Plus+ Size Living” which includes oversized bath towels and chairs that hold up to 800 lbs. They also make a toilet seat called The Big John! It offers 75% more sitting area than a regular toilet seat. It’s 19″ wide and the stainless steel hinges give it a 1,200 lb. capacity.  ***MARLAR: If you weigh twelve hundred pounds, can you even lift yourself up enough to walk to the bathroom?

 A driving test center in Britain has closed because candidates are spending their exams stuck in traffic jams and examiners are frustrated at not being able to test candidates properly spending up to 30 minutes stuck in traffic of the 40 minute test. ***MARLAR: Are they kidding? If the driver can keep their patience that long without taking a hammer to somebody’s windshield they should be given their license immediately!

In India, a man distraught over his mounting bills decided to end his life. So he crafted a well-worded note to his family and friends, then proceeded to head for a nearby highway where he planned to stand off to the side and jump into traffic at the very moment a large truck or bus came by. And so, after dropping the suicide note off at his parents’ front door, the man made the short walk to the highway and proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait some more. Finally, after two hours, the man gave up, collected the note from his parents’ porch and went home to bed. What happened? He’d chosen a highway that had been closed earlier in the day for a month-long project.  ***MARLAR: Tell me there is no God.

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